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ON 


BY 


Mrs.  M.  F.  ARMSTRONG. 


Wrillen  origiiiallj  for  tiie  Stiideiits  of  tlie  Haiiiptoii  1 aiid  A.  Iiistitiite. 


REVISED  edition. 


ADAPTED  TO  GENERAL  USE. 


HAMPTON,  VA. 

NORMAL  SCHOOL  PRESS,  PRINT. 
1888. 


Entered  according  to  Act  of  Congress  in  the  year  1888, 1 7 
S.  C.  ARMSTRONG, 

In  the  Office  of  the  Librarian  of  Congress. 


3 S' 

A i f' 


PREFACE  TO  REVISED  EDITION, 


Hampton,  Va.,  July,  1888. 

The  revision  of  this  little  book  is  a result  of  the  suggestions  of 
teachers  who  for  the  past  ten  years  have  been  using  it  in  their  class 
rooms.  The  scope  of  the  subject  is  such  that  it  is  impossible  to  deal 
with  it  satisfactorily  within  the  limits  of  a text  book,  and  we  only 
claim  for  our  present  work  that  it  is  an  embodiment,  so  far  as  we  can 
make  it  so,  of  a general  experience  of  the  needs  of  our  students. 

We  have  endeavored  to  make  it  constructive  rather  than  critical, 
and  we  ask  those  who  may  use  it,  either  as  teacher  or  pupil,  to  re- 
member that  it  is  not  safe  to  adopt  the  manners  of  any  individual  as 
a standard,  for  even  the  most  careful  are  liable  to  lapses,  and  it  is  al- 
ways the  general  law  which  should  be  regarded,  rather  than  the  spec- 
ial instance. 

Finally,  most  of  us  need  to  be  reminded  that  picking  flaws  in 
other  peoples’  manners,  does  not  help  to  mend  our  own,  and  that 
now  and  always,  here  and  everywhere,  it  is  only  a gentle  soul  which 
can  give  us  the  best  part  of  gentle  breeding. 


M F.  A. 


PREFACE. 


To  be  truly  a gentleman  or  lady,  in  the  best  and  broadest  mean- 
ing of  the  words,  is  to  be  something  more  than  most  of  us  think  of 
when  we  apply  the  terms  in  a general  way,  or  as  a mere  class  distinc- 
tion. 

It  is  not  to  those  who  are  rich;  it  is  not  to  those  to  whom  the 
accident  of  birth  may  have  given  special  advantages;  it  is  not  even  to 
those  who  are  educated,  or  who  claim  the  title  for  themselves,  that 
the  name  “ gentleman  ” or  “ lady  ” rightfully  belongs  ; and  as,  with 
very  few  exceptions,  we  all  desire  to  win  this  honor  for  ourselves,  our 
first  need  is  to  make  sure  that  we  know  just  what  we  want — that  we 
know  what  it  is  that  is  really  meant  by  the  words  so  frequently  upon 
our  lips. 

Long  ago  one  of  the  old  English  poets  wrote  this  beautiful  de- 
scription of  our  Saviour : 

“ A soft,  meek,  patient,  humble,  tranquil  spirit, 

The  first  true  gentleman  that  ever  breathed.’^ 

And  here,  indeed,  we  find  the  ensample  wherein  is  summed  up  all  the 
graciousness  which  goes  to  make  a “ gentle  ” life.  Do  not  think,  then 
that  I aim  too  high  when  I tell  you  that  to  be  gentlemen  and  ladies 
is  to  be  pure,  conscientious  and  honorable,  to  be  delicate  and  unselfish, 
careful  always  of  the  rights  of  others,  and  refined  and  gentle  in  the 
manner  of  our  lives — that,  in  a word,  it  is  to  reach  the  highest  type 
of  man-and  woman-hood. 

But  of  the  great  lessons  which  we  must  all  learn  in  order  to 
mould  our  natures  after  this  perfect  model,  it  is  not  my  business  now, 
and  here,  to  speak.  It  is  only  with  the  “ outward,  visible  sign  of  the 
inward,  spiritual  truth,”  that  I have  to  deal  in  these  pages,  which  I 
am  permitted  to  dedicate  to  you;  and  I have  to  offer  you,  first  of  all. 


6 


PREFACE. 


a few  words  of  explanation  as  to  the  nature  of  the  work  which  lies  be- 
fore us. 

You  have  already,  doubtless,  realized  that  society,  (by  which 
word  we  mean  all  the  various  combinations  of  men  and  women, — all 
the  numerous  conditions  under  which  men  and  women  mingle  with 
each  other),  makes  certain  demands  upon  each  of  its  individual  mem- 
bers; and  you  have  also  begun  to  see  that  just  in  proportion  to  the  de- 
velopment of  .society,  and  the  height  to  which  you  rise  in  the  social 
scale,  are  the  number  and  stringency  of  these  demands.  That  is,  that 
while  in  the  backwoods  cabin  you  may  eat  in  the  coarsest  fashion,  or 
go  unwashed  for  days  without  exciting  surprise,  you  will  find  that 
among  another  class  of  people  such  behavior  would  result  in  your 
own  social  disgrace. 

Now,  among  the  most  refined  classes  of  the  most  highly  civilized 
nations — that  is,  among  people  who  have  had  the  greatest  advantages 
of  birth,  education  and  nature — there  exists  a code  of  social  law 
which  is  just  as  inexorable  as  the  law  of  the  State.  It  has  grown  with 
the  growth  of  civilization,  and  among  the  people  who  live  within  its 
influence,  has  produced  certain  habits  and  customs  which  you  must 
study  and  follow  if  you  desire  to  gain  the  external  attributes  of  gentili- 
ty, and  associate  easily  and  pleasantly  with  your  fellow-beings. 

While  honesty  and  purity  of  life  are  the  suresfifoundation  for  true 
refinement  of  character,  the  details  of  daily  life  wherein  such  refine- 
ment shows  itself  are  a study  by  themselves,  'and  demand  your 
careful  attention.  In  the  following  pages  I shall  try  to  give  you  the 
principal  laws  of  good  society,  and  as  many  of  its  minor  regulations  as 
are  likely  to  be  of  use  to  you,  trusting  that  your  own  earnestness  and 
persistence  may  make  this  little  book  a real  and  permanent  assistance 
toward  a better  life.  M.  F.  A. 


ON  HABITS  AND  MANNERS. 


CHAPTER  I. 


THE  ETIQUETTE  OF  THE  TABLE. 

There  is  no  place  where  it  is  easier  to  recognize  refine- 
ment, or  the  want  of  it,  than  at  the  table  ; and  to  those  of 
you  who  are  beginning  to  understand  how  good  a thing  it 
is  to  be  ‘‘gentlemen  and  ladies,’’  that  is,  to  be  really  re- 
fined and  delicate  in  the  manner  of  j^our  lives,  I offer  the 
following  simple  rules,  assuring  you  that  society  will  al- 
ways be  largely  influenced  in  its  judgment  of  you  by  your 
behavior  at  table,  and  that,  if  you  wish  to  take  the  first  step 
in  social  education,  you  must  do  your  best  to  become  at  ease 
in  the  details  of  table  etiquette. 

Taking  for  granted  that  you  understand  already  the 
necessity  of  making  your  dress  and  person  as  neat  as  the  na- 
ture of  your  work  will  permit,  before  you  present  yourself 
at  table,  I must  ask  you  to  remember  that  haste  in  seating 
or  helping  yourself  before  others  is  simply  unpardonable, 
being  so  gross  a violation  of  good  manners,  that  I trust  your 
own  instinct  and  kind  feeling  will  make  it  unnecessary  for 
me  to  do  more  than  allude  to  it. 


8 


ON  HABITS  AND  MANNERS. 


Premising,  therefore,  that  you  have  seated  yourself  qui- 
etly (aud  I would  here  remark,  that,  as  in  well  ordered 
households  there  is  no  irregularity  in  the  time  of  meals,  so 
there  should  be  promptness  on  the  part  of  individuals),  I 
want  you  to  be  careful  always  to  exchange  polite  and  kind- 
ly greetings  with  those  who  sit  at  meat  with  you,  whom 
you  may  not  have  previously  met  during  the  day.  A cheery 
Good-morning,”  a bright  smile,  a bow  to  any  one  who 
may  not  be  near  enough  for  a word,  serve  to  make  the  meet 
ing  pleasant,  and  to  open  the  way  for  the  conversation  ^ 
which  is,  or  ought  to  be,  an  important  part  of  every  mea  . 
That  is,  while  loud  or  careless  talk  is  of  course  inadmissible 
it  is  a wise  and  pleasant  thing  to  converse,  in  low  tones,  eas 
ily,  upon  topics  of  general  interest  (never  in  whispers  or  up- 
on purely  personal  matters);  for  this  prevents  you  from  fall- 
ng  into  the  graceless  and  unwholesome  habit  of  fast  eating, 
and  when  you  have  been  working  hard  is  often  a mental 
rest  and  relief. 

And  now  your  repast  is  before  you,  and  the  first  ques- 
tion which  presents  itself  is  one  which  I trust  you  will  have 
no  difficulty  in  answering,  that  is,  ‘'’Whom  will  you  first 
help,  your  neighbor  or  yourself?  ” 

Surely  I do  not  need  to  tell  you  that  you  have  no  more 
important  duty  at  table  as  everywhere  else,  than  to  attend 
to  the  comfort  of  your  companions.  You  must  see  that 


ON  HABITS  AND  MANNERS. 


9 


those  about  you  are  served,  you  must  assist  them  so  far  as 
your  position  will  permit,  (never  stretching  out  your  arms  or 
standing  up  to  reach  anything,)  and  you  must  continue  your 
vigilance  so  long  as  you  remain  at  table,  passing  dishes 
which  are  within  your  reach,  asking  politely  if  your  neigh- 
bors want  anything  which  you  can  give  them,  never  helping 
yourself  greedily  or  taking  the  last  of  anything  unless  you 
know  that  a second  supply  is  to  be  had,  and  finally,  never  on 
any  account  rising  from  the  table  until  every  one  else  is 
ready,  or  you  are  excused  for  some  reason  of  real  im- 
portance. 

There  are  certain  well-known  rules  in  regard  to  the 
manner  of  eating,  which  you  must  obey  absolutely  if  you 
intend  to  become  well-bred  men  and  women. 

The  knife  must  be  held  in  the  right  hand,  and  the 
fork  in  the  left,  when  you  are  eating  anything  which  requires 
to  be  cut ; but  in  eating  fish,  or  other  substances  which  do 
not  need  to  be  cut,  the  knife  should  be  laid  down,  the  fork 
taken  in  the  right  hand,  and  a piece  of  bread  in  the  left,  by 
the  aid  of  which  you  can  take  up  your  food  upon  your  fork, 
and  convey  it  to  your  mouth.  To  eat  with  your  knife  is 
one  of  the  cardinal  sins  at  table  ; it  stamps  you  at  once  as 
ill-bred,  or  unpardonably  careless.  In  taking  soup,  tea, 
cofiee,  or  any  fiuid  food,  you  must  carefully  avoid  making 
any  sound  while  drinking  ; swallow  the  liquid,  whatever  it 


lo  ON  HABITS  AND  MANNERS. 

may  be,  in  small  quantities  and  quietly ; while  in  using  a 
epoon  there  must  be  no  gurgling  or  spilling. 

The  fingers  should  never  be  used  directly,  if  it  is  pos- 
sible to  avoid  it ; for  example,  when  you  want  to  dip  bread 
or  crackers  into  gravy,  milk,  syrup,  etc.,  you  should  do  it 
by  breaking  the  bread  or  other  solid  into  the  fluid,  and  con- 
veying it  thence  to  your  mouth  with  a fork  or  spoon. 

Your  own  share  of  the  table  furniture ; that  is,  your 
plates,  cup,  glass,  knife,  fork,  spoon,  etc.,  are  for  the  time 
being  your  own  private  property,  and  must  never  be  used  by 
others,  and  in  the  case  of  the  last  three,  must  not  be  used  by 
you  in  helping  yourself  from  any  dish  from  which  others  are 
eating. 

Butter-knives,  salt-spoons,  table  spoons,  etc.,  are  for  the 
general  use,  and  must  never  be  superseded  by  your  private 
knife,  spoon  or  fork,  and  you  must  never  pass  your  plate 
with  any  of  these  upon  it,  buc  must  remove  them,  and  lay 
them  upon  the  cloth  beside  you  until  your  plate  is  returned. 

To  pour  anything  from  your  cup  into  your  saucer  is  not 
allowable,  and  you  must  not  drink  with  the  spoon  in  your 
'Cup,  but  after  stirring  your  tea  you  should  put  the  spoon  in 
the  saucer,  being  particularly  careful  to  place  it  there  when 
your  cup  is  passed. 

Do  not  blow  any  kind  of  food,  but  have  patience  until  it 
€Ools  without  your*  help,  and  r^void,  if  possible,  any  close 


ON  HABITS  AND  MANNERS. 


1 1 

examination  of  dishes  which  are  passed  to  you,  or  of  any- 
thing that  is  upon  your  own  plate.  If  you  find  anything 
disagreeable  remove  it  yourself  as  quietly  as  you  can,  or  hand 
it,  without  calling  attention  to  it,  to  the  waiter. 

If  you  have  preferences  in  regard  to  difierent  parts  of  a 
dish,  do  not  hesitate  to  mention  them,  if  you  are  asked,  but 
not  otherwise  ; and,  as  a general  rule,  it  is  best  to  make 
no  remarks  upon  the  food  while  you  are  at  table.  After 
the  meal  is  over,  is  the  proper  time  to  discuss,  criticize,  or 
mention  to  those  in  authority,  anything  unusual  that  you 
may  have  noticed  at  table. 

If  it  is  necessary  to  remove  from  the  mouth  anything 
which  may  have  found  its  way  into  your  food  by  accident, 
this  may  be  done  usually  under  cover  of  your  hand  or  your 
handkerchief,  but  always  in  such  a manner  as  to  attract  the 
least  possible  attention. 

The  use  of  the  toothpick  should  be  postponed,  if  possible, 
until  after  leaving  the  dining-room,  but  if  it  is  used  at  table 
it  must  be  behind  your  hand  or  handkerchief,  and  with  the 
greatest  care. 

Your  position  at  table  should  be  erect  ; there  must  be 
no  lounging,  no  pushing  back  or  tilting  of  the  chair  (which 
should  be  placed  at  a convenient  distance  from  the  table  and 
your  neighbors),  and  never  moved  until  you  are  ready  to  rise  ; 
and,  above  all,  no  leaning  of  the  arms  or  head  upon  the  table, 
or  the  back  of  your  neighbor’s  chair. 


12 


ON  HABITS  AND  MANNERS. 


Keep  your  food  upon  your  plate  or  plates  as  much  as 
possible,  bread  being  the  only  thing  which  you  can  with 
invariable  propriety  lay  upon  the  cloth  beside  you. 

If  you  are  obliged  to  cough  or  sneeze,  the  head  must  be 
turned  entirely  away  from  the  table,  and  the  mouth  and  nose 
covered  with  the  pocket-handkerchief. 

You  should  avoid  blowing  your  nose  at  table,  and  must 
not  arrange  your  dress,  hair,  or  any  part  of  your  person,  as 
these  things  can  be  done  properly  only  in  your  own  bed- 
rooms, or  ill  places  set  apart  for  that  purpose.  Kever  speak 
while  in  the  act  of  eating,  and  never  under  any  circum- 
stances over-fill  your  mouth. 

The  above  rules  include  all  that  you  most  need  to  know 
in  regard  to  the  proprieties  of  the  table ; and  I can  add  to 
them  only  the  one  broad  rule,  that  you  should  never  do  any- 
thing which  may  ofi^end  the  sense  of  the  most  refined  person 
present,  because,  while  there  may  be  a certain  latitude 
allowed  in  general  society,  the  laws  of  the  table  are  exact 
and  unvarying. 


CHAPTER  II. 

CARE  OF  THE  PERSON. 

One  of  the  fundamental  conditions  of  civilized,  not  to 
say  refined,  society,  is  cleanliness.  The  house,  trom  the  cel- 
lar to  the  garret,  must  be  clean  , the  table,  in  all  its  appoint- 


ON  HABITS  AND  MANNERS, 


13 


merits,  scrupulously  neat ; and,  above  all,  the  body  should 
be  guarded  in  every  particular  against  even  the  suspicion  of 
uncleanliness.  The  first  step  in  this  direction  is  the  morning 
bath — a necessity  and  a luxury  which  should  never,  in 
winter  or  summer,  be  omitted.  No  matter  how  hurried  you 
may  be,  or  how  unwilling  to  make  what  seems  at  the 
moment  an  exertion,  you  should  never  fail  to  bathe  yourself 
thoroughly  from  head  to  foot  in  cool,  fresh  water,  before  you 
dress  yourself  for  the  day.  The  simplest  and  pleasantest 
way  to  do  this  is  to  have  a large  tub  of  tin  or  wood  half 
filled  with  water,  into  which  you  can  step,  and  with  a large 
sponge  or  piece  of  coarse  cloth,  and  plenty  of  soap,  rub  the 
skin  upon  every  part  of  your  body  until  all  impurities  are 
removed  and  the  senses  of  sight  and  smell  both  assure  you 
that  you  are  beginning  the  day  with  a clean  body.  In  case 
it  is  not  convenient  for  you  to  procure  or  to  use  a tub,  a 
large  basin  must  take  its  place,  though  bf  course  you  cannot 
stand  in  this,  but  with  the  sponge  or  coarse  cloth  must  be 
equally  careful  to  rub  every  portion  of  your  skin.  Having 
by  the  use  of  the  soap  (which  you  must  apply  with  your 
sponge  or  cloth)  removed  or  neutralized  all  the  secretions  of 
the  skin  and  all  the  foreign  substances  which  may  adhere  to 
it,  you  should  then  rinse  off  the  soap  with  pure  water,  and 
finally  rub  and  dry  yourself  thoroughly  with  a clean  towel, 
which  is  all  the  better  for  being  coarse. 


14 


ON  HABITS  AND  MANNERS. 


This,  then,  is  the  general  outline  of  the  morning  bath 
with  which  every  civilized  man  and  woman  should  begin 
the  day,  and  without  which  no  one  has  any  right  to  consider 
himself  or  herself  clean. 

But  there  are  some  details  which  require  your  attention, 
and  I shall  take  them  in  what  might  be  called  their  natural 
order,  beginning  with  the  hair. 

The  hair  and  the  skin  of  the  head  must  be  washed  as 
often  as  once  or  twice  a week  with  clean  water,  without 
soap.  The  use  of  oils  and  pomatum  is,  as  a general  thing,  a 
mistake,  as  they  clog  the  pores  of  the  skin,  and  are  more 
likely  to  produce  than  to  prevent  diseases  of  the  hair,  in  addi- 
tion to  which,  their  odor  is  usually  unpleasant.  The  use  of 
pure  water,  and  thorough  brushing  once  or  twice  a day,  with 
such  combing  as  is  necessary  to  keep  the  hair  from  matting, 
will,  in  most  cases,  ensure  the  cleanliness  of  both  the  hair  and 
the  skin  of  the  head. 

The  ears  must  be  carefully  washed  with  a sponge  or  soft 
cloth.  Nothing  hard  or  rough  should  be  used  in  cleaning 
them,  and  the  wax  which  collects  in  them  should  never  be 
removed  except  by  washing,  as  the  delicacy  of  the  ears  is 
such  that  it  is  possible  to  produce  deafness  by  carelessness  in 
the  treatment  of  them* 

The  teeth  must  be  cleaned  morning  and  night  with  a 
toothbrush,  clear  water,  and  either  toothpowder  or  scap. 


ON  HABITS  AND  MANNERS. 


15 


No  toothpowder  should  be  used  except  that  which  can  be 
procured  from  respectable  druggists  and  dentists,  for  it  i& 
very  easy  to  destroy  the  enamel  of  the  teeth,  and  the  quack 
powders  used  by  many  ignorant  people  are  usually  made  of 
detergents  so  powerful  as  to  increase  rather  than  prevent 
the  decay  of  the  teeth.  If  it  is  possible  to  clean  the  teeth 
and  rinse  the  mouth  after  each  meal,  it  should  be  done  ; but,, 
in  any  case,  a thorough  cleaning  should  be  given  night  and 
morning,  for  by  this  means  only  can  you  keep  your  teeth 
sound  and  white,  and  your  breath  free  from  offense.  If  thi& 
habit  is  established  in  early  childhood,  a fine  set  of  teeth  is 
almost  invariably  the  result,  while  toothaches  are  avoided 
and  dentists  set  at  naught,  “a  consummation  most  devoutly 
to  be  wished  for.” 

The  hands  and  feet  need  special  care,  for  the  nails  of 
the  former  must  be  always  carefully  cut  and  cleaned  with  a 
knife  or  nail-scissors  every  day,  while  they  must  be  washed 
several  times  a day,  in  particular,  both  before  and  after  eat- 
ing. The  toes  must  be  washed  and  dried  carefully  every 
morning,  while,  whenever  it  is  necessary,  the  nails  must  be 
cut,  and  all  corns  or  growths  of  that  nature,  must  be  pared 
with  a knife  or  otherwise  removed,  in  order  to  prevent  the 
feet  from  becoming  a source  of  great  pain  and  annoyance. 

The  habits  of  cleanliness  which  will  result  frorq  obe- 
dience to  the  above  simple  rules,  will  do  much  toward  keep- 


i6 


ox  HABITS  AND  MANNERS. 


ing  your  bodies  in  a healthy  condition,  for  a clean  skin  is 
one  of  tlie  essentials  of  health,  so  that  you  have  a double 
motive  to  induce  you  to  learn  to  be  clean,  in  the  fact  that 
you  can  never  have  either  health  or  refinement  except  upon 
the  broad  foundation  of  cleanliness. 


CHAPTER  III. 


PERSONAL  HAETTS. 

In  associating  with  our  fellow-men  and  women,  in  general 
society,  which  we  are  all,  to  a greater  or  less  extent,  obliged 
to  do,  and  in  which  many  of  us  find  our  greatest  pleasures,  I 
want  you  to  notice  how  closely  the  Christian  law  and  the 
law  of  Society  are  united  in  respect  to  the  principles  of  re- 
finement. To  be  a Christian  one  must  love  one’s  neighbor 
as  one’s  self, — to  be  a gentleman  or  lady  one  must  at  least 
seem  to  do  so,  and  must  bear  one’s  self  in  all  things  as  if  the 
comfort  and  well  being  of  one’s  neighbor  were  the  first  and 
highest  consideration.  True  politeness  involves  frequent, 
indeed  continual  self-sacrifice,  and  it  is  this  undoubtedly 
which  makes  it  so  hard  for  us  to  practice  it  in  our  homes,  or 
at  seasons  when  we  fancy  the  eye  of  the  world  is  no  longer 
upon  us  and  we  can  be  rude  and  selfish  without  fear  of  be- 
ing held  up  to  ridicule  and  contempt. 


ON  HABITS  AND  MANNERS. 


17 


It  is  of  the  details  of  this  politeness,  this  habitual  refine- 
ment, that  I hope  to  teach  you  something ; and  I shall  have 
now  to  ask  you  to  follow  me  patiently  through  what  may 
seem  to  you  an  unnecessarily  minute  account  of  the  number- 
less social  regulations  to  which  gentlemen  and  ladies  submit 
themselves,  reminding  you  once  more  that  there  is  no  short 
road  to  the  refinements  of  life,  and  that  even  those  who  are 
trained  from  their  birth  cannot  rid  themselves  of  the  neces- 
sity for  constant  care  and  watchfulness. 

Before,  however,  I begin  upon  this  part  of  our  work  I 
have  something  to  say  to  you  upon  a subject  which  is  of  very 
great  interest  to  mo.^t  people,  and  that  is  the  matter  of 
‘^Dress.” 

Now  it  is  undeniable  that  our  personal  appearance  does, 
to  a greater  or  less  extent,  influence  our  lives,  has  often  an 
intimate  connection  with  our  worldly  success  or  failure,  and, 
in  short,  is  a matter  worthy  of  sober  consideration.  To  be 
slatternly,  unneat,  and  careless  ; to  dress  in  an  extravagant, 
ill-chosen  fashion  ; to  wear  uncomfortable  and  unnatural 
garments;  to  make  either  too  much  or  too  little  of  your 
clothes,  is  a serious  mistake,  and  one  against  which 
I greatly  desire  to  help  you  to  guard  yourselves.  And  what 
I want  you  first  to  remark  is,  that  while,  as  I have  said, 
your  personal  appearance  may  and  probably  does  affect  your 
life,  your  life  most  certainly  afiects  your  personal  appearance. 


l8  ON  HABITS  AND  MANNERS. 

Unconsciously,  perhaps  to  you,  but  still  most  surely,  your 
vices  and  virtues  are  moulding  with  strong  hands,  your  face, 
your  form,  your  very  dress,  and  are  forcing  you  in  spite  of 
yourself  to  carry  about  with  you  an  index  to  the  manner  of 
your  life,  which  all  the  world  may  read.  If  you  think  this 
an  exaggeration  let  me  ask  you  to  look  about  for  a moment 
among  your  companions.  Here  is  Laziness  in  the  girl  with 
unneat  hair  and  collar  awry,  who,  as  you  can  see,  has  been 
unwilling  to  make  the  exertion  which  neatness  requires; 
here  is  Coarseness  in  the  boy  with  dirty  hands  and  person  to 
match;  here  Vanity  in  the  shape  of  tawdry  ribbons  and 
mock  jewelry  ; and  here,  perhaps.  Dishonesty  in  one  who 
from  a room-mate’s  trunk  has  taken  some  small  article  which 
may  be  used  without  detection,  or  may  be  said  to  have  been 
“ borrowed.”  On  the  other  hand,  too,  is  it  not  pleasant  to 
find  Thrift  in  the  plain  but  well-cared-for  dress  of  some  boy 
who  has  little  to  spend  and  means  to  spend  that  little  hon- 
estly ; Modesty  in  the  quiet  neatness  of  some  sweet-faced 
girl ; Unselfishness  in  some  simple  garb  which  is  bare  of 
ornament  in  order  that  its  wearer  may  help  a needy  friend? 

While  I do  not,  by  any  means,  claim  that  in  all  cases 
one  can  trust  to  outward  signs,  yet  surely  they  have  much 
to  do  with  the  judgment  which  we  for  m of  one  another,  and 
are  therefore  of  real  importance  to  every  station  in  life,  and 
in  both  sexes. 


ON  HABITS  AND  MANNERS. 


19 


In  regard,  then,  to  the  clothes  which  we  wear,  two 
things  may  be  considered  certain,  namely,  that  we  shall 
in  the  main  follow  the  prevailing  fashion  of  our  time  and 
country,  and  that  in  detail  we  shall  follow  the  bent  of  our 
own  tastes,  so  that  while  the  limits  of  our  obedience  to  the 
fashion  of  the  day  will  be  regulated  by  our  consciences  and 
our  purses,  our  characters  as  individuals  will  have  not  a lit- 
tle to  do  with  the  cut  and  color  of  our  garments. 

Now  I think  there  are  few  among  you  who  will  not 
confess  that  to  be  well  dressed  is  a desirable  thing,  but  dif- 
ferences of  opinion  may  very  probably  commence  when  we 
begin  to  discuss  the  meaning  of  this  term  ‘‘well-dressed,’’ 
and  much  must  necessarily  be  left  to  your  own  good  taste 
and  experience.  There  are,  however,  two  or  three  essentials, 
and  these,  as  is  proper,  shall  come  first.  Cleanliness  and 
Fitness,  you  will  see  at  once,  are  absolutely  necessary  and 
are  within  the  reach  of  almost  everybody,  while  the  third 
essential.  Comfort,  is  seldom  sacrificed,  except  by  unwise 
people,  who  fancy  that  to  distort  and  cramp  different  parts 
of  their  bodies  is  the  way  to  obtain  grace  and  beauty,  which 
is  undoubtedly  one  ot  the  important  ends  for  which  we  strive 
in  the  endeavor  to  dress  well. 

Having  established,  then,  our  three  primary  essentials, 
Cleanliness,  Fitness,  and  Comfort,  we  have  come  to  a point 
where  the  differences  in  the  dress  of  the  sexes  make  it  neces- 


20 


ON  HABITS  AND  MANNERS. 


sary  for  us  to  divide  our  subject,  as  the  rules  binding  upon 
one  sex  are  not  always  equally  binding  upon  the  other,  and 
both  fashion  and  common  sense  ordain  that  there  shall  be  a 
marked  distinction  in  the  dress  ot  men  and  women.  Our 
next  chapter,  therefore,  will  be  especially  for  young  women. 

CHAPTER  IV. 


FOR  YOUNG  WOMEN. 

Taking  the  articles  of  your  dress  in  their  customary 
order,  I shall  first  speak  of  the  underclothing,  which  is  of 
primary  importance  to  your  health  and  comfort. 

Next  the  skin,  flannel  should  always  be  worn,  heavy  in 
winter,  but  in  summer  as  light  as  possible;  and  the  reason 
for  this  is  a sanitary  one,  for  nothing  so  effectually  protects 
the  skin  from  the  effect  of  cold  in  winter,  and  the  danger  of 
chills  during  the  profuse  perspiration  of  summer,  as  some 
woolen  material,  flannel  being  the  best  and  cheapest. 

These  garments  may  be  made  in  diflterent  ways,  but 
should  always  come  up  to  the  throat,  entirely  covering  the 
chest;  should  be  made  with  sleeves  to  reach  at  least  half  way 
to  the  elbow  (for  the  under  part  of  the  upper  arm  and  the 
armpit  are  exceedingly  sensitive  parts  of  the  body),  and 
should  come  well  down  over  the  hips.  Once  a week  these 
-under  jackets  must  be  changed,  for  the  excretions  from  the 


ON  HABITS  AND  MANNERS, 


21 


skin  will  thoroughly  soil  them  in  that;  time,  although  no 
stain  or  mark  of  dirt  may  be  apparent  to  the  eye.  All 
the  cotton  garments  must  also  be  changed  at  least  once 
a week,  and  it  is  often  desirable  to  change  them  more^ 
frequently,  while  with  the  stockings  (which  should  be  wool- 
len in  winter  and  cotton  in  summer)  the  only  safe  rule  is  to 
change  them  whenever  they  are  soiled. 

The  corsets,  which  are  so  dangerous  a stumbling  block 
in  the  path  of  young  girls,  are  so  universally  worn  that  the 
harm  which  they  do  is  a serious  matter,  and  I want  you  to 
whom  I am  writing  these  words,  and  who,  in  years  to  come, 
may  be  able  to  do  much  to  influence  other  women,  to  give 
me  your  sober  attention  while  I ask  a question  or  two  and 
offer  you  a few  facts. 

There  can  be  no  doubt,  I am  afraid,  that  many  of  you 
wear  your  gowns  much  too  tight,  and  in  order  to  do  this  use 
your  stiff  steel-boned  corsets  to  obtain  the  small  waists  which 
you  think  pretty  and  elegant.  Now  let  me  tell  you  where 
lies  your  first  mistake.  Nothing  is  pretty  which  is  unnatu- 
ral, and  as  you  well  know  small  waists  are  not  natural  to 
healthy,  well  developed  women.  Your  waist,  if  you  would 
have  a good  and  graceful  figure,  must  be  in  proportion  to 
your  height  and  the  breadth  of  your  shoulders,  and  a waist 
of  seventeen  or  eighteen  inches  upon  a girl  of  average  size, 
is  simply  a deformity.  Your  small  waists  are  obtained,  then, 


2 2 OK  HABITS  AND  MANNERS. 

at  a sacrifice  of  the  very  grace  for  which  you  are  seeking, 
and  that  is  not  the  sum  of  your  folly.  Do  you  realize  when 
you  pull  in  that  fatal  corset-lacing  of  yours,  what  suffering 
you  are  preparing  for  yourselves  ? 

You  are  squeezing  in  your  stomach  so  that  it  cannot 
digest  food ; you  are  compressing  your  lungs  so  that  they 
cannot  receive  the  air,  which  is  your  life  ; you  are  stopping 
the  action  of  your  busy  heart ; you  are  doing  a dozen  things 
which  may  ruin  your  health  for  life,  and  which  at  any  rate 
are  giving  you  daily  headaches,  and  very  probably  making 
you  irritable  and  unhappy.  This  is  surely  a senseless  and  a 

wicked  thing — a thing  which  any  honest,  God-fearing  wo- 

# 

man  ought  to  be  ashamed  to  do  ; and  I assure  you  that  you 
must  consider  it,  not  as  a trifling  question  of  dress,  but  as  a 
matter  of  very  great  importance  to  you  and  to  others.  For 
God  has  given  you,  in  most  cases,  healthy,  well  formed  bo- 
dies, and  the  responsibility  of  injuring  them  is  an  awful 
weight  which  must  rest  now  and  hereafter  upon  your  own 
shoulders. 

As  to  the  directly  practical  side  of  the  question  I can 
perhaps  make  some  suggestions  which  may  be  of  use  to  you. 
A waist  made  of  stout  cotton  cloth,  firmly  stitched  and 
corded,  cut  low  in  the  neck,  with  sleeveless  armholes,  will 
take  the  place  of  the  corset  in  every  respect,  while  in  some 


ON  riABITS  AND  MANNERS. 


23 

particulars  it  is  altogether  preferable.  It  can  be  made  with 
a corset  steel  in  front  (to  be  removed  when  it  is  washed), 
but  should  contain  no  other  bones  or  steels.  Your  own  back 
bone  is  your  proper  and  all-sufficient  support,  and  you  are 
doing  your  spine  and  the  wonderful  nervous  system  so  close- 
ly connncted  with  it,  no  kindness  when  you  rely  upon  the 
artificial  aid  of  whale  bones  to  produce  an  erect  figure.  The 
weight  of  the  skirts,  which  can  be  made  to  button  on  to  the 
waist  I am  describing,  is  thus  supported  from  the  shoulder 
by  the  band  of  the  armhole ; there  is  no  drag  upon  the  hips, 
no  chance  to  tighten  a lacing,  no  compression  between  stifi 
bones,  and  none  of  that  aw’kward  and  unnatural  inflexibility 
which  comes  from  the  wearing  of  corsets. 

This  matter  is  one  which  of  course  must  be  left  to  your 
own  consciences,  but  once  more  I ask  you  to  think  of  it  seri- 
ously, ard  to  remember  that  you  can  sin  against  your  bodies 
as  well  as  against  your  souls. 

A complete  change  of  clothing  at  night  is  imperative. 
You  must  have  night-gowns  neatly  made  of  cotton  cloth, 
and  you  must  have  a sufficient  number  of  them  to  enable 
you  to  change  at  least  once  a week.  On  going  to  bed  take 
oflf  all  the  garments  which  you  wear  in  the  daytime  and  put 
on  your  night-gown,  which  you  must  be  careful  to  see  is 
thoroughly  aired  every  morning,  in  order  that  the  impuri- 
ties collected  during  the  night  may  be,  so  far  as  possible,  re- 


24 


ON  HABITS  AND  MANNERS. 


moved.  For  a similar  reasoa  the  clothes  which  j^ou  take  off 
at  night  should  be  thrown  loosely  upon  a chair  where  the 
air  may  have  free  circulatinn  among  their  folds,  and  in  this 
connection  I may  properly  remind  you  of  the  importance  of 
having  your  sleeping  room  thoroughly  ventilated-  Before 
going  to  bed  you  should  always  open  one  or  more  of  the 
windows  of  your  room,  and  this  not  only  in  summer,  but 
even  more  especially  in  winter,  if  you  are  in  good  health,  as 
at  that  season,  house  ventilation,  for  several  reasons,  is  very 
imperfect  and  the  danger  from  impure  air  particularly  great. 

I have  spoken  somewhat  in  detail  in  regard  to  your 
underclothing,  and  I have  done  so  because  it  is  not  unusual, 
especially  among  persons  of  limited  means,  to  put  all  the 
expenditure  of  time  and  money  upon  externals  of  dress, 
while  the  underclothing  is  allowed  to  take  care  of  itself. 
Now,  if  you  have  to  choose  between  finery  and  cleanliness, 
between  ribbons  and  a proper  change  of  underclothing,  do 
not  for  a moment  hesitate,  for  nothing  can  be  a truer  type  of 
the  ^^whited  sepulchre”  of  the  Bible  than  the  man  or  woman 
whose  external  dress  is  showy  and  expensive,  while  under- 
neath are  rags  and  uncleanliness.  Make  every  exertion  to 
supply  yourselves,  first  of  all,  with  suitable  underclothing, 
and  after  that  you  may  think  about  the  fashion  of  your 
jackets  and  the  trimming  of  your  hats. 


ON  HABITS  AND  MANNERS. 


25 


In  regard  to  these  same  externals  of  dress — that  is,  as 
to  the  style,  material,  etc.,  of  your  outer  garments,  it  is  very 
difficult,  as  you  yourselves  will  understand,  to  give  you  any 
fixed  rules,  tor  in  respect  to  these  parts  of  our  dress  we  are 
all  of  us  at  the  mercy  of  a changing  fashion.  All  that  I can 
hope  to  do  is  to  offer  you  some  general  ideas  upon  the  sub- 
ject, in  the  belief  that  your  own  intelligent  observation  and 
instincts  of  modesty  and  propriety  will  enable  you  gradually 
to  learn  for  yourselves  what  are  the  characteristics  of  the 
dress  of  a true  lady. 

CHAPTER  V.— Dress. 

FOR  YOUNO  WOMEN. 

The  first  principle  of  dress  may,  I think,  safely  be  said 
to  be  suitability j and  by  this  I mean  that  your  dress  should 
be  suited  to  the  occasions  on  which  it  is  worn,  to  your  posi- 
tion in  life,  and  to  the  characteristics  of  your  face  and  fig- 
ure. When  you  are  at  work,  for  example,  wear  something 
dark  in  color,  simple  in  make,  and,  if  possible,  of  material 
which  will  wash.  Put  aside  all  your  finery,  tor  nothing  is 
more  completely  unladylike  than  to  overdress ; aad  when 
you  are  at  work  of  any  kind,  the  simpler  you  dress  the  bet- 
ter. Plain  linen  collars  and  cuffs  are  proper  at  all  times, 
and  should  always  he  preferred  to  mussy  ruffiings,  though 


26 


ON  HABITS  AND  MANNERS. 


fresh  lace  or  muslin  rufflings  are  a pretty  and  ladylike  addi- 
tion to  your  toilette  for  evening,  or  at  any  time  when  you 
are  dressed  more  than  usual. 

Any  preponderances  ot  bright  color,  or  any  glaring  or 
improper  combination  of  colors,  is  always  to  be  avoided. 
There  are  certain  colors,  as  you  know,  which  are  always 
beautiful — as  scarlet  and  brown,  or  pink  and  gray — while 
again  there  are  colors  which,  to  use  an  expressive  word, 
“ kill”  each  other,  as  purple  and  blue,  green  and  yellow.  No 
mere  directions  can  guide  you  here ; you  must  simply  train 
your  own  taste  by  watching  the  dress  of  people  whom  you 
know  you  can  trust  in  this  particular,  and  in  this  way  you 
will  soon  learn  to  judge  for  yourselves ; but,  in  the  meantime, 
I advise  you  to  err  oa  the  side  of  too  little  color  rather  than 
too  much. 

For  dress  materials  choose  as  much  as  possible  solid 
colors — that  is,  do  not  indulge  too  often  in  plaids,  stripes  or 
figures,  and  be  careful  never  to  overtrim,  for  the  first  care  of 
a lady  is  to  avoid  attracting  attention  by  the  gandiness  or 
fussiness  of  her  dress.  Dark  colors  for  winter  and  light 
tor  summer  is  a very  safe  rule,  though,  of  course,  it  may 
often  be  safely  broken.  For  jackets  and  cloaks,  black  or 
any  very  dark  color  is  proper,  and  the  hat  or  bonnet  should 
be  made  to  match  or  contrast  with  the  suit  tvith  which  it 
will  be  principally  worn,  while  gloves  must  never  be  of  any 


ON  HABITS  AND  MANNERS. 


27 


bright  color— grays,  drabs,  browns,  and  black,  being  the 
most  useful,  with  white  and  light  shades  for  full  dress. 

Jewelry,  lace,  artificial  flowers,  etc.,  should  not  be  worn, 
excep  on  special  occasions,  as  evening  parties,  weddings,  etc., 
and  only  at  such  times,  too,  are  low  necked  or  short  sleeved 
dresses  suitable,  for  it  is  safe  to  say  that  the  ordinary  every 
day  toilette  of  a lady,  is  remarkable  chiefly  for  its  simplici- 
ty of  color,  fashion  and  material. 

Boots  should  be  thick  and  strong  for  common  wear, 
must  be  kept  in  good  order  and  neatly  blacked.  Never,  on 
any  account,  be  so  foolish  as  to  wear  tight  shoes,  for,  as  I 
fear  many  of  you  have  already  found,  they  are  the  cause  of 
inflnite  discomfort  and  pain.  Slippers  are  proper  for  the 
house  at  all  times,  but  be  careful  that  they  do  not  entice  you 
into  slipshod  habits  ; do  your  best  to  keep  your  stockings 
and  j^our  shoes  clean,  whole  and  neat. 

In  respect  to  petticoats,  I think  you  will  see  for  your- 
selves, that  for  winter  y^u  need  those  which  are  light,  warm 
and  not  easily  soiled,  while  in  summer  you  want  those  that 
are  light,  cool,  and  easily  washed.  The  colored  woolens 
for  one  season  and  the  colored  cottons  for  the  other,  are,  if 
wisely  chosen,  neat,  comfortable  and.cheap,  while  petticoats 
of  white  cotton,  prettily  trimmed,  should  always  be  worn 
for  your  best,  or  when  you  have  on  a thin  dress. 


28 


ON  HABITS  AND  MANNERS. 


The  idea  of  ‘‘suitability/’  on  which  I am  inclined  to 
dwell  very  strongly,  exists  not  only  in  regard  to  the  times 
and  places  for  which  you  dress  yourselves^  but  also  has  a very 
direct  connection  with  the  amount  of  money  which  you  are 
able  to  spend.  You  understand,  no  doubt,  that  it  is  unsuit- 
able to  dress  conspicuously  in  the  street,  to  dress  gaudily  while 
at  work,  to  overdress  anywhere  or  at  any  time  ; but  do  you 
also  understand  how  very  unsuitable  it  is  to  spend  a penny 
more  than  you  can  honestly  afiord  upon  your  clothes?  To 
most  of  you  this  matter  of  economy  is  doubtless  a very  im- 
portant one,  and  I shall  (taking  it  for  granted  that  you  mean 
to  be  honest  and  careful  in  personal  expenditure)  try  to  give 
you  a few  hints  which  may  be  of  assistance  to  you. 

In  selecting  any  garment,  from  a pair  of  shoes  to  a hat, 
you  may  be  sure  that  it  is  better  to  have  one  really  good 
thing  than  two  or  three  poor  ones.  Many  girls  would  spend 
the  money  which  one  good  gown  or  cloak  would  cost,  upon 
two  or  three  cheap  ones,  but  it  is  not  in  this  way  that  you 
will  dress  well  upon  a little  money.  Let  your  materials, 
your  gloves,  your  shoes,  or  whatever  the  articles  may  be,  be 
always  as  good  and  as  well  made  as  you  can  afford,  and  then 
take  care  of  them.  Be  satisfied  to  do  without  a variety  in 
order  that  you  may  have  better  things,  which,  in  the  end, 
are  always  more  economical,  especially  when  you  take  into 


ON  HABITS  AND  MANNERS. 


29 


account  the  extra  labor  entailed  upon  you  by  the  multipli- 
cation ot  cheap  articles  in  your  wardrobe. 

Again,  do  not  spend  your  money  upon  trinkets  ; the 
habit  of  buying  useless  ornaments  is  most  extravagant  and 
unsatisfactory,  for  a ring  here,  a necklace  there,  a string  of 
beads  or  a brooch  now  and  then,  however  cheap  they  may 
seem  at  the  time,  will  run  away  with  the  price  of  a complete 
stock  of  underclothing  before  you  think  of  it.  In  this  con- 
nection, too,  1 must  warn  you  against  the  vulgarity  of  all 
imitations,  false  jewelry  in  particular  being  always  in  bad 
taste.  You  will  find  that  among  ladies  and  gentlemen  a 
very  plain  reality  is  better  than  a very  fine  sham,  and  that 
it  is  good  to  be  true  in  dress  as  well  as  in  other  things. 

In  laying  out  your  limited  allowance  of  money  always 
take  the  most  substantial  things  first,  for  you  will  find  that 
to  sacrifice  comfort  to  show  is  very  poor  economy  ; as,  for 
example,  the  girl  who  goes  without  overshoes  in  order  to  buy 
a feather,  is  very  likely  to  discover  her  mistake  when  she  gets 
her  feet  wet  and  pays  the  penalty  of  illness  and  suffering. 

Never  fret  yourself  and  waste  your  time  in  the  attempt 
to  dress  as  people  do  who  are  richer  than  you  are,  or  whose 
position  enables  them  to  make  more  show  upon  a similar 
outlay.  You  can  be  a lady  in  calico  as  well  as  in  silk,  and 
you  can  make  no  greater  error  than  to  fancy  that  economy 


3° 


ON  HABITS  AND  MANNERS. 


is  a disgrace  or  extravagance  a virtue.  The  refinement  (to 
use  a general  term)  of  your  dress  and  appearance  will  depend 
largely  upon  your  own  industry  and  neatness,  for  a careful 
eye  and  ready  hand  can  do  much  toward  making  and  keep- 
ing your  dress,  what  a lady’s  should  he,  whole  and  clean, 
and  to  that  end  you  should  mend  rips,  tears  and  holes  in  your 
garments  as  soon  as  they  appear,  remembering  that  most 
useful  little  proverb,  “A  stitch  in  time  saves  nine.” 

If  you  have  patiently  followed  rne  thus  far,  I think  you 
will  now  agree  with  me  that  a lady’s  dress  should  always  be 
clean,  suitable  and  comfortable,  and  any  girl  who  will  work 
on  that  foundation  may  safely  be  trusted  to  make  her  dress 
also  pretty  and  attractive  by  a careful  and  modest  use  of 
color,  a wise  choice  of  material  and  fashion,  and  a systematic 
avoidance  of  everything  glaring  and  unreal. 

And  now  there  are  but  two  other  points  upon  which  I 
wish  to  speak,  and  I have  purposely  reserved  them  for  the 
last,  for  they  are  not  only  matters  of  dress,  but  of  morality 
as  well. 

You  must  never  use  articles  of  toilette  which  belong  to 
your  companions,  but  must  yourself  be  supplied  with  all  that 
you  are  likely  to  require,  so  that  you  need  on  no  account 
trespass  on  the  belongings  of  other  people.  Tooth  brushes, 
combs  and  brushes,  washcloths,  sponges,  etc.,  are  sacred  to 
the  use  of  their  owner,  and  I do  not  know  anything  more 


ON  HABITS  AND  MANNERS. 


3^ 


indicative  of  a want  of  refinement  than  a promiscuous  use  of 
these  things.  The  utmost  intimacy  will  not  justify  you  in 
any  carelessness  in  regard  to  articles  which,  in  the  strictest 
sense,  are  personal  property,  and  with  your  nearest  friend  you 
should  never  permit  yourself  to  become  lax  in  this  particu- 
lar. Also  in  respect  to  minor  articles  of  dress — pocket  hand- 
kerchiefs, collars,  ribbons,  etc. — it  is  wise  to  borrow  and  lend 
as  little  as  possible.  Have  a suflScient  number  of  these  things, 
let  them  be  plainly  marked  with  your  name,  and  while 
guarding  your  own  rights  be  careful  to  respect  the  rights  of 
your  neighbor,  for  nothing  is  more  likely  to  lead  to  petty 
thefts  (a  vice  about  which  I shall  speak  to  you  elsewhere) 
than  the  habit  of  indiscriminate  borrowing. 

My  second  and  last  wwning  to  you  is  against  a shame- 
ful practice,  of  which,  I hope,  you  yourselves  see  the  folly. 
While  a lady  should  take  every  care  of  her  teeth,  her  hair, 
and  her  skin,  no  lady  should  use  cosmetics  in  any  form. 
Paint  and  powder,  however  skilfully  their  true  names  may 
be  concealed  under  the  mask  of  Liquid  Bloom,’ ^ or  “Lily 
Enamel,”  can  never  change  their  real  character,  but  remain 
always  unclean,  false,  unwholesome,  a disgrace  to  those  who 
use  them,  and  certain  ruin  to  the  skins  they  are  supposed  to 
beautify.  Put  such  things  away  from  you  entirely,  and  be 
sure  that  the  adornment  they  afford  is  unworthy  of  good 


32 


ON  HABITS  AND  MANNERS. 


women,  for  it  is  an  offense  against  the  laws  of  health,  a 
foolish  and  paltry  attempt  at  deception. 


CHAPTER  VL— Dress. 

FOR  YOUNG  MEN. 

If  you,  as  young  men  who  desire  to  maintain  the  exter- 
nal appearance  of  gentlemen,  were  to  ask  me  what  are  the 
characteristics  of  a gentleman’s  dress,  I should  answer  you 
with  little  hesitation,  ^‘Cleanliness,  quiet  colors,  and  well 
brushed  boots.”  If  you  have  these  three  requisites  you  need 
not  be  over-carcful  about  the  cut  of  your  coat  and  trousers, 
or  the  fashion  of  your  hat : but  even  with  these  attained  you 
have  not  yet  reached  the  foundation  of  the  matter,  for  your 
dress  really  begins,  not  with  the  garments  which  are  usually 
visible,  but  with  the  underclothing,  and  on  this  point  I want 
you  to  understand  very  clearly  what  are  the  essentials. 

As  a matter  of  health  you  ouglit  to  wear  next  your 
skin,  shirt  and  drawers  of  some  woollen  material,  heavy  in 
winter  and  light  in  summer,  for  this  is  a safeguard  against 
sudden  changes  of  temperature  or  the  depressing  effect  upon 
the  vital  forces  of  extreme  of  unaccustomed  cold.  The  wo- 
ven undergarments,  which  can  be  bought  at  almost  any  dry- 
goods  shop,  are-cheap  and  convenient,  though  flannel,  either 


ON  HABITS  AND  MANNERS.  33 

white  or  colored,  is,  on  some  accounts,  better  for  this  pur- 
pose. These  garments  must  be  changed  at  least  once  a 
week ; do  not  on  any  account  wear  them  longer  than  that  ; 
for,  although  they  may  not  look  soiled,  they  are  most  cer- 
tainly saturated  with  the  impurities  thrown  ofi  by  the  skin, 
and  will  probably  show  it  by  their  color.  It  is  well,  too,  to 
wear  woolen  stockings  in  winter,  and  for  them  the  only  rule 
I can  give  you  is  to  change  them  whenever  they  are  dirty. 

You  will  see,  of  course,  that  I am  taking  it  for  granted 
that  you  yourselves  are  cleanly  in  your  liabits,  that  you  un- 
derstand the  necessity  of  keeping  your  bodies  pure  and 
healthy,  and  knowing  that  this  cannot  be  done  without  scru- 
pulous attention  to  details,  are  glad  to  learn  from  the  expe- 
rience of  others  just  what  tiiose  details  are. 

Eemember,  therefore,  in  your  daily  life,  in  your  choice 
of  garments,  in  the  formation  of  your  personal  habits,  and 
in  the  expenditure  of  your  money,  that  the  thing  above  all 
others  which  Society  insists  upon  is  ‘^cleanliness, ” and  that 
this  cleanliness  must  begin  with  your  skin  and  the  clothes 
which  you  wear  next  it.  You  must  make  it  a duty,  a mat- 
ter of  conscience,  to  be  clean  from  head  to  foot,  and  to  this 
end  you  must  faithfully  take  the  daily  bath,  about  which  I 
have  already  so  strongly  spoken  to  you.  Then  you  must 
change  your  underclothes  throughout  once  a week,  or  often- 
er  if  necessary,  and  be  very  careful  never  to  wear  the  same 
shirt  at  night  which  you  have  been  wearin  g through  the  day. 


34 


ON  HABITS  AND  MANNERS. 


TIply  yourselves  with  night  shirts  of  white  cotton,  and 
wear  these  and  nothing  else  at  night,  taking  off  every  arti> 
cle  of  clothing  that  you  have  worn  through  the  day,  for 
there  is  no  more  unwholesome  personal  habit  than  that  of 
wearing  a garment  both  day  and  night.  You  must  change 
your  night  shirt  once  a week,  and  when  you  take  it  ofi*  in 
the  morning  must  see  that  it  is  properly  aired  before  it  is 
put  away  for  the  day. 

As  to  your  outer  garments,  the  clothes  in  which  you 
work  will  naturally  be  suited  to  the  purpose  for  which  they 
are  used,  and  the  fact  that  you  do  work  in  them  will  usually 
imply  that  they  are  not  very  clean  nor  entirely  whole,  but  as 
most  of  you  have  it  in  your  power  to  have  one  or  more  good 
suits,  I want  to  say  a word  or  two  to  you  about  those  gar- 
ments, in  the  selection  of  which  you  have  an  opportunity  to 
show  your  individual  taste. 

Perhaps  the  first  thing  to  be  said  here  is  what  I have 
already  once  said,  namely,  that  your  linen  must  be  clean  and 
neat  and  always  simple — ruffles,  embroideries,  or  any  peculi- 
arity of  cut,  being  out  of  place  and  unsuitable.  A clean 
shirt,  collar  and  cuffs,  are  indispensable,  and  when  the  two 
latter  cannot,  from  motives  of  economy  or  convenience,  be  of 
linen,  paper,  celluloid,  etc.,  make  neat  and  excellent  substi- 
tutes. 

Any  jewelry  which  you  may  wear — studs,  sleeve  but- 
tons^ scarf  pin,  or  watch  chain,  must  be  real  of  its  kind,  and 


35 


ON  HABITS  AND  MANNERS^ 

•simple  in  style,  and,  as  a general  rule,  the  less  you  wear  of  it 
the  better.  In  wearing  rings,  or  any  additional  jewelry,  a 
gentleman  will  be  exceedingly  careful  as  to  both  quality  and 
quantity,  as  any  attempt  at  show^  in  this  respect,  is  almost 
inevitably  vulgar  and  a sure  evidence  of  bad  taste. 

Your  cravats  and  neckties  should  not  be  too  bright 
in  color ; plain  dark  shades  are  always  the  best,  except 
for  occasions  when  you  wear  full  dress — that  is,  parties, 
weddings,  etc.,  when  white  or  light  colors  are  per- 
missible, and  black  is  always  proper.  In  the  selection  of 
material  for  your  coat  and  trousers,  you  will  naturally  be 
largely  influenced  by  the  climate  in  which  they  are  to  be 
worn — but  here  again,  plain  colors  are  the  rule.  You  will 
very  probably  have  noticed  for  yourselves  that  gentlemen 
usually  wear  suits  made  of  one  material  throughout,  in  color 
dark  gray,  brown,  blue  or  mixed,  or  suits  in  which  the  coat 
is  of  some  very  dark  shade  or  black,  and  the  trousers  more 
varied,  though  never  of  any  bright  color  or  large  pattern. 
Entirely  black  clothes  are  not  worn  except  by  clergymen  or 
for  mourning. 

Boots  and  shoes  must  alvays  be  neatly  kept  and  well 
polished,  and  care  must  be  taken  that  they  are  sufl3.ciently 
large  for  the  feet. 

In  the  choice  of  hats  you  will  be  guided  by  the  season 
and  the  fashion  as  to  material  and  shape,  the  chief  thing 


36 


ON  HABITS  AND  MANNERS. 


being  to  avoid  wearing  anything  which  is  conspicuous. 
Gloves  must  usually  be  of  some  dark  color,  gray,  drab,  brown 
or  black,  while  for  full  dress  almost  any  light  shade  is  proper. 

In  conclusion,  I would  say  to  young  men  as  to  young 
women,  that  the  surest  economy  in  dress  is  to  buy  good 
things  and  take  care  of  them.  Do  not  spend  your  money 
for  useless  trifles,  and  on  no  account  spend  more  on  your 
dress  than  you  can  honestly  afford.  Remember  that  you 
must  never  borrow  anything  even  from  your  friends  without 
asking  leave,  and  that  it  is  best  to  borrow  and  lend,  as  a 
habit,  as  little  as  possible.  Let  your  garments  be  legibly 
marked  with  your  name,  and  never  wear  other  people’s 
clothes  if  you  can  help  it.  All  toilette  articles — brushes, 
combs,  sponges,  etc.,  are  sacred  to  the  uses  of  their  owner, 
and  must,  under  no  circumstances,  be  considered  public 
property,  or  put  to  any  other  use  than  that  for  which  they 
were  intended.  A gentleman  will  be  careful  to  supply  him- 
self with  these  things  and  to  keep  them  strictly  to  himself, 
neither  committing  nor  permitting  any  trespass.  Further- 
more, you  must  understand  that  in  order  to  be  gentlemen  at 
all  you  must  be  gentlemen  always,  modest  and  reflned  among 
yourselves  as  well  as  in  public,  and  in  nothing  is  the  modesty 
and  refinement  of  a gentleman  more  clearly  shown  than  in 
the  simplicity  of  his  dress  and  the  care  and  neatness  with 
which  he  attends  to  the  details  of  his  toilette.  To  form  gen- 


ON  HABITS  AND  MANNERS. 


37 


tlemanly  habits  in  this  respect  will  be  of  the  greatest  value 
to  you,  and  you  may  be  sure  that  it  is  never  too  soon  to  be- 
gin the  endeavor  whose  success  will  be  mainly  dependent 
upon  your  own  resolution. 


CHAPTER  VII. — In  General  Society. 

FOR  YOUNU  WOMEN. 

In  general  society  there  are,  as  you  know,  many  par- 
ticulars in  which  what  is  proper  for  one  sex  is  not  proper  for 
the  other,  and  what  is  required  of  one  sex  is  not  required  of 
the  other,  and  these  dilferences  form  a very  important  part  of 
our  social  regulations,  so  that  it  becomes  again  necessary  to 
divide  our  subject,  and  upon  certain  points  to  speak  with  re- 
gard, primarily,  to  their  diversity.  In  obedience,  therefore, 
to  a well  known  rule  of  etiquette,  I shall  once  more  [give 
precedence  to  young  women  among  my  readers,  and  endea- 
vor to  show  them  what  Society  has  decreed  to  be  the  essen- 
tial attributes  and  duties  of  a lady — that  is,  what  a lady 
must  and  must  not  do  when  she  is  in  the  presence  of  others. 

I have  already'  asked  you  to  notice  that  the  foundation 
of  good  manners  is  the  commandment,  ‘‘Thou  shalt  love  thy 
neighbor  as  thyself;”  for  even  if  you  do  not  in  your  heart 
obey  that  precept,  you  must  externally  appear  to  do  so,  if 
you  desire  to  be  courteous  and  well  bred. 


38 


ON  HABITS  AND  MANNERS. 


You  must,  that  is,  always  endeavor  to  make  those  about 
you  comfortable  and  happy,  even  when  it  is  at  your  own  ex- 
pense; and  upon  this  point  it  will  be  necessary  to  go  some- 
what into  detail  in  order  that  you  may  fully  understand 
what  is  expected  ot  you,  for  in  society  you  are  brought  into 
contact  with  so  many  different  people  under  frequently 
changing  conditions,  that  no  single  rule  can  cover  your  gen- 
eral demeanor. 

Toward  all  persons  of  your  own  sex,  toward  old  people 
ot  both  sexes,  toward  invalids,  or  those  who  are  in  any  way 
weaker  than  yourself,  you  must  show  deference — that  ;is,  you 
must  invariably  consider  their  comfort  and  pleasure,  and  must 
show  them  a certain  external  respect.  In  your  turn,  how- 
ever, you  will  receive  a similar  deference  from  gentlemen, 
and  in  most  cases  you  must  understand  that  you  are  enti- 
tled to  certain  privileges  by  right  of  your  sex.  For  example, 
you  must  not  pass  through  doors  or  gates,  or  up-stairs  before 
other  people,  but  must  allow  them  to  pass  before  you;  you 
must  not  take  the  most  comfortable  or  the  only  seat  in  a 
room,  but  must  offer  it  politely  to  others,  except  in  the  case 
of  gentlemen,  who  will  allow  you  to  precede  them,  to  occupy 
the  only  seat,  etc.,  and  whose  attentions  you  must  accept 
always  with  suitable  acknowledgments. 

You  must  not  sit  or  piss  between  the  fire  or  the  light 
and  another  person  ; in  short,  you  must  not  take  the  best  of 


ON  HABITS  AND  MANNERS. 


39 


anything  to  yourself,  but  must  share  it  with  others,  never 
pushing  your  own  claims  but  trusting  always  to  the  polite- 
ness of  your  associates.  In  your  own  house  especially  you 
must  be  w^atchful  that  your  guests  are  cared  for,  while,  when 
you  are  yourself  the  guest  of  other  people,  you  must  be  care- 
ful to  take  no  liberties. 

In  conversation  you  must  not  interrupt  those  who  may 
be  speaking,  and  you  must  never  yourself  talk  in  a loud 
voice  or  use  coarse  or  rough  language,  while  I advise  you 
to  break  yourselves,  as  quickly  as  possible,  of  the  habit  of 
‘ using  frequent  exclamations  of  any  kind,  but  especially  of 
using  those  which  are  irreverent,  if  not  actually  profane,  as 
‘^Good  Lord,”  ‘‘My  Jesus,”  etc.  Sneezing,  coughing,  blow- 
ing the  nose,  etc.,  must  be  done  as  quietly  as  possible  under 
cover  ot  the  pocket  handkerchief,  and  you  must  on  no  ac- 
count take  anything  from  your  mouth  when  you  are  in  the 
presence  of  other  people.  One  of  the  chief  charms  in  a lady 
is  gentleness  in  voice,  in  manner,  in  language  : a lady  is  al- 
ways gentle,  and  loud  talking,  or  boisterous  laughter  and 
gestures,  are  entirely  inadmissible  in  refined  society. 

In  social  gatherings  it  is  not  customary  for  strangers  to 
speak  to  one  another  without  being  first  introduced  by  some 
one  who  is  known  to  both  parties,  and  this  ceremony  of  in- 
troduction consists  in  bringing  together  the  two  people 
whom  you  desire  to  introduce,  and  in  mentioning  the  name 


40 


ON  HABITS  AND  MANNERS. 


of  each  one  to  the  other,  as,  for  example,  ‘‘Mrs.  Johnson — 
Miss  Smith  Miss  Smith — Mr.  Jones,”  the  gentleman  be- 
ing always  presented  to  the  lady,  and  the  single  to  the  mar- 
ried lady.  After  this  the  parties  introduced  are  expected, 
under  all  circumstances,  to  bow  and  begin  a conversation,  in 
which,  when  one  of  the  parties  is  a gentleman,  it  is  usually 
his  duty  to  speak  first.  An  acquaintance  begun  in  this  way 
may  be  continued  or  not,  at  the  pleasure  of  the  individuals 
introduced,  it  being  always  in  the  power  of  one  person  to 
refuse  to  know  another  by  declining  to  speak,  bow,  or  other- 
wise recognize  him  or  her,  but  it  must  be  understood  that 
you  must  not  intentionally  fail  to  recognize  any  one  to  whom 
you  may  have  been  introduced,  without  good  and  satisfac- 
tory reasons  for  so  doing.  It  is  not  customary  for  a lady  to 
talk  to  or  accept  attentions  from  gentlemen  whom  she  does 
not  know,  and  I would  like  to  say  to  you  that  it  is  always 
better  for  you  to  be  too  reserved  rather  than  too  bold  in  your 
manner,  especially  with  gentlemen,  for,  as  you  will  soon  find, 
the  respect  and  courtesy  which  they  show  to  you  will  almost 
invariably  be  in  proportion  to  the  dignity  and  modesty  of 
your  own  demeanor.  Do  not  put  yourself  forward,  do  not 
endeavor  to  monopolize  attention,  do  not  talk  much  of  your- 
self or  your  own  afiairs,  do  not  in  any  way  presume  upon 
the  general  patience,  and  in  conversation  endeavor  as  much 
as  you  can  to  choose  subjects  whicli  will  interest  all  who  are 


I 


ON  HABITS  AND  MANNERS.  4I 

either  listening  or  talking.  Nothing  is  in  worse  taste  than 
to  talk  in  public  upon  purely  personal  matters,  and  it  is  of- 
ten little  short  of  disgusting  to  well  bred  people  to  be  obliged 
to  listen  to  long  descriptions  of  things  and  incidents  which 
should  properly  only  be  spoken  of  between  intimate  friends 
and  in  privacy.  As,  for  example,  you  should  never  talk 
before  people  of  the  state  of  your  stomach,  the  medicines  you 
may  be  using,  your  visits  to  the  dentist,  any  more  than  you 
should  in  general  company  pick  your  teeth,  scratch  your 
head,  or  clean  your  nose  or  ears. 

The  habit  of  chewing  gum,  or  any  similar  substance,  is 
entirely  unpardonable,  it  being  not  only  bad  for  the  diges- 
tion and  the  teeth,  but  thoroughly  vulgar,  and  to  cleanly 
people  disgusting.  No  one  who  is  careful  of  either  health 
or  appearance  will  acquire  it,  especially  as  it  offers  no  com- 
pensating pleasure. 

These  and  all  similar  faults,  both  of  word  and  of  action, 
you  must  scrupulously  avoid,  and  if  you  have  nothing  better 
to  occupy  your  attention  than  such  things  as  these,  your 
first  duty  should  be  so  to  regulate  your  behavior  that,  at 
least,  you  may  not  offend  those  who  are  more  refined  than 
yourself.  You  must  never  forget  that  there  are  many  things 
which  can  properly  enough  be  done  and  said  when  you  are 
among  people  with  whom  you  are  familiar,  which  are  out  of 
place  and  unladylike  in  general  society;  and  in  this  respect 


42 


ON  HABITS  AND  MANNERS. 


it  is  never  safe  to  allow  yourself  much  liberty,  for  offences 
against  propriety  committed  in  public  will  eventually  result 
in  your  expulsion  from  good  society,  the  first  requirement 
of  such  society  being,  everywhere  and  always,  propriety  of 
behavior. 

In  conversing  with  those  with  whom  you  are  not  on 
intimate  terms,  it  is  rude  to  touch  any  part  of  their  dress  or 
person  with  your  hands,  or  anything  which  you  may  have 
in  your  hands,  as  a fan,  cane  or  parasol  ; to  attract  their  at- 
tention by  touching  them  or  calling  loudly,  to  look  at  them 
very  closely,  or  to  comment  in  any  way  upon  their  appear- 
ance. You  must  not  point  or  stare  at  people  either  in  the 
street  or  a room,  and  when  it  is  necessary  or  desirable  to 
point  one  person  out  to  another,  you  must  do  it  in  a low 
voice,  without  any  gestures,  and  so  quietly  that  no  one  will 
notice  it  except  the  person  to  whom  you  are  speaking.  You 
must  never  make  audible  remarks  upon  the  people  about 
you,  and  when  you  unintentionally  annoy  or  discommode 
another  person,  as  by  stepping  on  a lady’s  dress,  taking  up 
a book  which  some  one  has  for  the  moment  laid  down,  or 
anything  of  the  kind,  you  must  immediately  atone  for  your 
involuntary  rudeness  by  saying,  ‘*1  beg  your  pardon,'’  or 
Excuse  me.”  When  it  happens  that  you  are  the  offended 
party  you  must  always  acknowledge  the  apology  made  by 
the  offender,  using  some  such  form  of  words  as  ‘‘Certainly;” 
‘‘It  is  of  no  consequence.” 


ON  HABITS  AND  MANNERS. 


43 


If  you  have  any  accomplishment  which  you  can  use  for 
the  amusement  of  others,  you  should  always  be  willing  to 
do  your  best  when  invited,  though  it  is  not  usually  proper 
for  you  to  volunteer  your  services.  If  you  can  sing  or  play^ 
or  read  well,  and  are  asked  to  use  your  power  for  the  plea- 
sure of  your  friends,  do  not  make  the  mistake  ot  hesitating 
and  offering  a half-dozen  excuses,  none  of  which  are  suffi- 
cient, but  do  what  you  are  able  cheerfully  and  readily^ 
showing  your  willingness  to  oblige,  while,  however,  you 
should  be  careful  not  to  do  too  much,  thereby  tiring  your 
listeners  instead  of  pleasing  them. 

If  you  join  in  games  or  dancing  (to  neither  of  which, 
when  properly  conducted,  is  there  any  objection),  you  must 
be  careful  that  your  fun  and  frolic  do  not  degenerate  into 
roughness,  that  there  is  no  loud  laughing  or  boisterous 
romping,  and  you  must  remember  that  upon  you  as  ladies 
rests  the  responsibility  of  excluding  all  coarseness  and  vul- 
garity from  your  presence.  You  can  easily  show  your  dis- 
pleasure and  disapproval,  and  I want  you  to  appreciate  the 
fact  that  in  society  the  power  lies  principally  with  your  sex; 
that  in  all  social  gatherings,  and  in  the  family  life,  it  is  you 
who  must  keep  up  the  standard  of  refinement  and  demand 
propriety  in  the  behavior  of  those  about  you. 


44 


ON  HABITS  AND  MANNERS. 


CHAPTER  VIII. — In  General  Society. — (Continued.) 

FOR  YOUNG  WOMEN. 

I must  advise  you  especially  to  guard  yourself  against 
the  dangers  arising  from  over-familiarity.  Young  people, 
as  a rule,  are  apt  to  make  friends  easily  and  to  be  unnecessa- 
rily communicative,  and  in  this  way  often  get  themselves 
into  difficulties  which  might,  at  the  outset,  be  easily  avoided. 
Young  women  are  probably  somewhat  more  liable  to  make 
this  error  than  young  men,  and  I would  therefore  advise  you 
in  particular  not  to  be  too  familiar  even  with  your  intimate 
friends,  but  to  keep  up  a certain  reserve,  which  you  will  find 
to  be  often  a great  safeguard.  Do  not  talk  of  your  own 
affairs  to  all  the  world ; do  not  attempt  to  pry  into  the  af- 
fairs of  other  people  ; do  not  gossip  about  your  friends  and 
their  faults ; remember  that  modesty  is  essential  to  your 
womanhood,  and  that  true  modesty  is  spiritual  as  well  as 
physical.  By  this  I mean  that  the  same  instinct  which  will 
prevent  you  from  making  coarse  gestures,  from  intruding  on 
the  privacy  of  others,  from  committing  any  action  publicly, 
ought  also  to  guard  your  tongue  from  loose  speech,  your  eye 
from  suspicion,  and  your  thought  from  indelicacy,  just  as 
much  when  you  are  alone,  as  when  you  are  in  a crowd,  just 
as  effectually  at  home  as  abroad. 

I would  like  you  to  notice  here  that  this  modesty  of 
which  I speak  is  a very  different  thing  from  that  awkward 


ON  HABITS  AND  MANNERS. 


45 


shyness  which  afflicts  many  young  girls,  and  which  more 
often  comes  from  too  much  thought  of  self  than  from  too  ^ 
little.  True  modesty  is  often  the  surest  relief  from  shyness, 
for  it  prevents  any  over-estimate  of  one’s  own  importance,  and 
frees  its  possessor  from  any  undue  sensitiveness  as  to  the 
opinions  of  other  people — that  is,  a young  person  who  is 
really  modest  will  not  constantly  wonder  what  other  people 
are  thinking  of  her,  or  imagine  that  she  is  an  object  of  atten- 
tion to  anyone  about  her,  but  will  go  quietly  about  her 
work  or  her  pleasure,  careful  to  be  true  and  honest,  but  not 
too  anxious  about  appearances,  remembering  that  to  ‘‘be”  is 
better  than  to  “seem.” 

In  order  to  be  graceful  and  ladylike  in  your  manner 
you  must  be  at  your  ease,  not  presumptuous  nor  over -sure  of 
yourself,  or  vainly  confident  of  your  own  ability,  but  simply 
at  your  ease  in  that  you  are  not  constantly  irritated  by  the 
thought  that  you  may  be  making  some  error,  doing  some- 
thing foolish  or  different  from  other  people,  or  in  some  way 
showing  that  you  are  a stranger  to  the  rules  of  society.  And 
I think  we  shall  come  back  here  to  our  original  proposition, 
namely,  that  you  must  think  about  yourself  as  little  as  pos- 
sible. Do  not  fidget  because  you  do  not  know  what  to  do 
with  your  hands,  or  get  nervous  because  you  do  not  know 
whether  you  ought  to  stand  up  or  sit  down,  but  watch  as 
closely  as  you  can  the  behavior  of  the  cultivated  people  whom 


46  ON  HABITS  AND  MANNERS. 

you  may  meet;  accustom  yourself  as  much  as  you  can  to  do 
as  they  do,  and  be  sure  that  as  a general  thing  the  one  rule 
which  will  help  you  most  is  to  think  of  others  more  than  of 
yourself. 

It  is  very  important  for  you  to  understand  that  to  be 
respectful  in  your  manner  and  address  is  essential.  In  your 
association  with  people  older  than  yourself,  with  those  who 
are  in  positions  of  authority,  with  those  of  superior  wisdom 
and  experience,  you  must  show  special  respect,  not  insisting 
upon  your  own  equality,  not  advancing  your  own  opinions, 
not  contradicting  others  or  asserting  yourself,  but  listening 
rather  than  talking,  and  being  content  to  follow  instead  of 
to  lead. 

I have  spoken  to  you  before  of  the  impropriety  of  whis- 
pering in  general  society,  and  I have  still  something  more 
to  say  upon  that  subject.  It  is  rude  for  anybody,  but  espe- 
cially for  young  people,  to  converse  in  whispers,  to  monopo- 
lize conversation,  or  to  keep  up  a private  conversation  to  the 
exclusion  of  others,  but  it  is  inexcusably  so  when  they  are 
in  the  presence  of  those  who  are  older  and  better  informed 
than  themselves.  Also  this  special  respect  must  be  shown 
to  places  as  well  as  to  individuals,  in  public  meetings,  at 
lectures,  concerts,  or  similar  gatherings,  but,  above  all,  in 
church  your  demeanor  must  be  quiet  and  unobtrusive  ; you 
must  do  nothing  to  disturb  others  or  attract  attention  to 


ON  HABITS  AND  MANNERS, 


47 


yourself,  and  in  church  or  at  any  meeting  for  purposes  of 
devotion,  you  must  maintain  a sober  and  reverent  manner. 

I do  not  know  anything  more  displeasing  in  young 
girls  than  a habit  of  loud  talking  and  restless  or  bold  beha- 
vior in  public  places.  Your  instinct  of  modesty  ought  to 
protect  you  from  this  fault ; and  if  you  are  so  unfortunate  as 
to  have  contracted  it,  do  your  best  to  change  and  modify 
your  manner,  and  let  me  advise  you  to  make  a beginning  in 
the  school  room.  So  much  of  your  school  life  as  students  is 
spent  in  class  rooms,  and  so  many  of  you  intend  to  become 
teachers  that  this  matter  of  school  etiquette  deserves  especial 
thought.  Let  me  suggest  to  you  then,  that  you  give  to 
your  teachers  the  same  respect  and  attention,  which  you  in 
your  turn,  desire  to  receive  from  the  pupils  to  whom  in  fu- 
ture you  are  to  be  leaders  and  examples.  Respect  also  the 
room,  and  its  furniture;  respect  your  classmates,  and  work 
together  to  make  the  standard  of  the  school  room  high  and 
inflexible.  If  you  are  in  doubt  as  to  what  this  standard 
should  be,  your  teachers  can  tell  you,  and  will  be  your  best 
advisers  in  matters  ot  detail.  I can  only  tell  you  broadly 
that  politeness  is  as  much  in  place  in  school  rooms  as  in  par- 
lors, and  if  you  do  not  practice  it  in  the  one  place  you  may 
be  sure  you  will  never  be  perfect  in  it  in  the  other. 

When  any  of  your  associates,  of  either  sex,  show  you 
ourtesy  in  any  form,  you  must  never  fail  to  make  due  ac- 


48 


ON  HABITS  AND  MANNERS. 


knowledgment.  It  costs  you  scarcely  a breath  to  say 
“Thauk  you/’  or  ‘‘I  am  much  obliged/’  or  ‘‘You  are  very 
kind;”  but  these  little  phrases,  spoken  at  the  right  time, 
are  of  real  importance,  and  you  should  try  to  form  a habit 
of  using  them,  as  well  as  of  taking  notice  in  other  ways  of 
the  little  favors  which  you  ought  to  he  able  to  accept  as  well 
as  to  offer  kindly  and  freely.  When  you  meet  friends  it  is 
proper  to  inquire  if  they  and  their  families  are  well,  and  to 
show  interest  in  their  vrell  being,  and  syrnpathj"  for  their 
troubles,  all  of  which  can  be  done  without  exhibiting  any 
impertinent  curiosity,  and  is,  of  course,  a very  different  thing 
from  that  personal  questioning  which  is  merely  an  attempt 
to  pry  into  matters  that  do  not  concern  you. 

In  regard  to  making  calls  you  have  to  be  guided  in  de- 
tail by  the  customs  of  the  community  in  which  you  live.  In 
general,  I can  only  tell  you  that  ladies  never  call  upon  gen- 
tlemen, but  may  invite  gentlemen  to  call  upon  them,  having 
first  made  sure  that  they  are  proper  and  desirable  acquaint- 
ances. You  may  invite  other  ladies  to  visit  you,  or  may  first 
visit  them,  the  latter  being  usually  considered  more  courte- 
ous, and  when  you  receive  invitations  to  call,  must  accept 
them  as  soon  as  possible,  or  it  will  be  understood  that  you 
desire  to  drop  the  acquaintance.  If  you  have  been  present 
at  an  entertainment  of  any  kind,  you  should,  within  the 
following  week,  call  upon  your  hostess  as  an  acknowledg- 


ON  HABITS  AND  MANNERS. 


49 


merit  of  her  hospitality.  Formal  visits  should  never  exceed 
ten  minutes  in  length,  and  in  making  them  it  is  desirable  to 
eave  your  card  or  your  name,  whether  the  lady  of  the  house 
is  at  home  or  not,  and,  indeed,  in  very  fashionable  society, 
to  leave  a card  is  considered  the  equivalent  of  a personal 
visit. 

Acknowledgments  of  a gift,  however  small,  should  be 
made  promptly  and  heartily,  without,  however,  any  extrav- 
agant expressions,  which  only  give  the  impression  that  you 
do  not  mean  what  you  say.  Remember  that  any  delay,  for 
which  there  is  no  good  reason,  in  sending  your  letter  of 
thanks,  or  in  making  yowv  acknowledgment  in  person,  di- 
minishes the  value  of  what  you  say,  making  it  more  a mat- 
ter of  form  and  less  an  expression  of  real  gratitude.  Put 
3^ourself  in  the  giver’s  place  and  you  will  realize  how  ungra- 
ious  is  the  delay  which  allows  the  glow  of  friendlj^  feeling 
to  change  to  a disappointment  and[displeasure  which  excuses 
will  hardly  remove,  and  which,  not  improbably,  may 
seriously  disturb  the  friendship. 

As  an  illustration  of  the  courtesy  which  good  manners 
demand,  I give  you  the  following  incident,  the  spirit  of 
which,  I am  sure,  you  will  appreciate,  while  you  will  un- 
derstand that  the  forms  demanded  by  Japanese  etiquette  are 
not  necessary  in  this  country,  where  hospitality  is  suffi- 
ciently acknowledged  by  a properly  worded  letter,  or  by 


so 


ON  HABITS  AND  MANNERS. 


word  of  mouth,  no  gift  being  looked  for  except  in  cases 
where  there  has  been  special  indebtedness. 

Some  years  ago  the  party  of  Japanese  Commissioners  of 
Education  to  the  Centennial  Exhibition  visited  Hampton 
Institute,  part  of  their  mission  to  this  country  being  for  the 
purpose  of  studying  our  various  systems  of  education.  The 
party,  consisting  of  a prince  and  the  gentlemen  of  his  suite, 
were  gladly  entercained  for  the  several  days  of  their  stay  by 
the  officers  of  the  School.  They  were  all  gentlemen  of  very 
high  standing  and  great  intelligence,  and  their  visit  was  a 
source  of  pleasure  to  all  who  met  them.  On  their  depar- 
ture, according  to  a graceful  custom  of  their  countiy,  the 
prince  left  a beautiful  present  of  Japanese  work  at  each  house 
where  he  had  been  a guest.  A month  or  more  after  he  left, 
by  the  earliest  possible  mail,  came  letters  courteously  an- 
nouncing the  party’s  safe  arrival  in  Japan,  and  renewing 
their  acknowledgments  of  the  hospitality  they  had  received. 

As  I have  said,  our  Republican  Society  does  not  de- 
mand such  excessive  formality  as  is  necessary  to  the  despotic 
etiquette  of  those  Eastern  nations,  but  in  some  respects  we 
can  learn  from  them,  and  I have  used  the  above  anecdote 
to  show  you  how  broad  a meaning  ^ ‘ courtesy  ” may  have. 

It  is  almost  always  rude  and  unkind  to  ridicule  people 
whether  they  are  friends  or  strangers,  and  as  politeness 
means  not  only  external  forms,  but  also  involves  considera- 


ON  HABITS  AND  MANNERS. 


51 

tion  for  the  feelings  of  those  with  whom  you  come  in  con- 
tact, you  must  remember  that  it  is  often  just  as  ill-bred  to 
say  or  do  anything  which  you  know  is  likely  to  hurt  a per- 
son’s feelings,  as  it  would  be  to  shut  a door  in  any  one’s  face 
or  offer  any  similar  rudeness. 

If  by  accident  you  injure  anything  belonging  to  an- 
other person,  you  must  make  proper  apology,  and  if  in  any- 
way you  can  repair  your  fault,  must  do  so.  Anything 
which  you  may  have  borrowed  should  be  returned  promptly 
at  the  expiration  of  the  time  for  which  it  was  lent.  If  it 
has  been  in  any  way  damaged,  you  must  replace  it,  or  if 
that  is  not  possible,  must  make  good  its  money  value  to  its 
owner.  You  must  never  make  use  of  the  smallest  article 
without  asking  leave  of  its  owner,  and  even  in  so  trifling  a 
matter  as  taking  up  a book  or  newspaper  belonging  to  any 
one  else,  must  be  careful  that  you  are  not,  in  so  doing,  an- 
noying the  owner;  in  short,  you  must  always  and  every- 
where be  strictly  scrupulous  in  regard  to  other  people’s 
property. 

In  making  the  acquaintance  of  young  men,  and  in  your 
association  with  them,  I have  already  told  you  how  import- 
ant it  is  that  you  should  be  careful,  molest,  pure  in  word 
and  deed,  so  that  you  may  command  their  respect,  and  never 
have  the  misfortune  to  find  your  name  in  the  mouths  of  gos- 
sips or  scandalmongers,  or  even  worse,  to  know  that  it  is 


52 


ON  HABITS  AND  MANNERS. 


bandied  about  among  the  very  young  men  whose  good  opin- 
ion you  are  doubtless  trying  to  win. 

Do  not,  as  a rule,  accept  presents  from  young  men  ; do 
not  go  out  with  young  men  alone,  but  try  always  to  have 
others  of  your  own  sex  with  you  ; do  not  take  a young  man's 
arm  unless  it  is  offered  to  you,  and  not  even  then  unless  the 
time  and  place  are  suitable  and  the  offer  properly  made ; in 
a word,  do  not  permit  yourself  to  be  familiar  or  free  in  your 
manner,  except  with  those  with  whom  you  are  intimately 
acquainted  ; while  so  long  as  ^^ou  are  under  the  guidance  of 
parents,  teachers,  or  friends,  you  will  find  it  best  to  trust  to 
their  judgment  rather  than  your  own  in  regard  to  what  is 
proper  and  permissible  for  young  women  in  their  association 
with  young  men. 

And  now,  if  I were  face  to  lace  with  you,  I should  like 
to  ask  you,  ‘AVhat  is  it  which,  in  your  opinion,  makes  a 
lady?’'  and  from  your  answers  judge  of  my  own  success  in 
this  foregoing  explanation.  I cannot  do  that,  but  I can  ask 
you  to  think  for  yourselves  about  the  matter,  and  to  answer 
to  yourselves  a few  last  questions. 

To  be  a lady — is  it  not  to  be  gentle,  courteous  and  kind, 
to  speak  and  move  without  roughness  or  rude  noise,  to  be 
modest  in  look  and  word,  to  be  considerate  of  others,  to  dress 
quietly  and  suitably,  to  be  respectful,  to  be  neither  unduly 
shy  nor  presumptuously  forward,  to  be  at  ease  in  regard  to 


ON  HABITS  AND  MANNERS, 


55 


all  ordinary  social  rules,  to  be  bright  and  cheery  without 
coarseness,  and  to  be  all  these  not  in  public  or  at  times  only, 
but  everywhere  and  always?  And  of  such  an  one  can  we 
not  say,  Strength  and  honor  are  her  clothing,  in  her 
tongue  is  the  law  of  kindness — her  price  is  far  above  rubies?’ 


CHAPTER  IX. — In  General  Soctety.- 


FOR  YOUNO  MEN. 

The  principal  power  in  general  society  undoubtedly  lies 
in  the  hands  of  its  female  members — that  is,  it  is  to  them 
that  Society  looks  for  a careful  maintenance  of  etiquette,  and 
for  the  support  of  a high  standard  of  refinement,  and  you 
will  understand  this  when  you  remember  how  many  things 
you  do,  as  young  men,  among  yourselves,  which,  as  gentle- 
men, you  would  not,  on  any  account,  do  in  the  presence  of 
ladies.  Now,  of  course,  the  rougher  life^  which,  as  a gene- 
ral thing,  falls  to  the  lot  of  young  men,  and  the  fact  that  in 
their  struggle  with  the  world  they  have  little  time  for  social 
culture,  explains  this  and  to  a certain  extent  excuses  that 
want  of  grace  and  ease  which  is  so  much  more  frequent 
among  young  men  than  among  young  women.  But,  and  I 
want  you  to  lay  this  to  heart,  neither  this  nor  any  other 
reason,  however  plausible,  can  or  ought  to  induce  you  to 


54 


ON  HABITS  AND  MANNERS. 


abate,  by  jot  or  tittle,  your  constant  endeavor  to  become  and 
to  be  gentlemen.  If  you  will  once  take  the  trouble  to  learn 
what  it  is  to  be  polite  and  well-bred,  and  will  honestly  try 
to  form  the  habit  in  yourselves,  you  will  lind  that  you  need 
never  be  too  tired,  or  too  busy,  or  too  careless,  to  be  gentle 
and  courteous  in  your  manner  to  those  about  you,  and  you 
will  find,  too,  that  every  step  which  you  take  in  this  direc- 
tion will  bring  its  reward,  and  that,  in  the  end,  you  will  be 
more  than  repaid  for  the  exertion  which,  at  the  outset,  may, 
not  improbably,  seem  to  you  very  great. 

I have  no  intention,  as  you  see,  of  encouraging  you  with 
the  assertion  that  it  is  an  easy  thing  to  be  a gentleman,  for 
that,  I think,  would  be  the  surest  road  to  your  ultimate  dis- 
couragement, but  I want  you  to  believe  and  act  upon  what  I 
am  sure  is  the  truth — that  is,  that  by  care,  patience,  watch- 
ing the  habits  of  those  who  are  better  bred  than  yourselves, 
and  modestly  accepting  instruction  in  whatever  form' it  may 
come,  you  can  make  of  yourselves  gentlemen,  of  whom  your 
friends  and  teachers  will  have  no  need  to  be  ashamed. 

Now  if  you  have  read  what  has  already  been  written  to 
you,  you  have  learned  several  things  which  I shall  here 
merely  recapitulate  in  brief.  You  have  learned  that  tho- 
rough cleanliness  is  essential,  that  your  dress  should  be  neat, 
quiet,  and  always  suitable  to  your  occupation,  and  that  at 
table  your  behaviour  must  be  most  carefully  regulated.  We 
come  now,  naturally,  to  your  demeanor  in  general  society — 


ON  HABITS  AND  MANNERS. 


55 


that  is,  in  all  social  gatherings,  in  all  public  places,  in  the 
street  and  the  house  ; wherever,  in  short,  you  are  brought 
in  contact  with  your  fellow  beings,  and  the  details  which  I 
shall  try  to  make  plain  to  you,  demand  your  serious  atten- 
tion. 

Consideration  for  others,  either  real  or  apparent,  is  the 
foundation  for  good  manners,  and  what  you  need  to  learn  is 
to  show  such  consideration  constantly  and  easily,  to  make  it 
so  entirely  habitual  as  to  require  no  special  effort.  There 
are  certain  forms  which  you  will  have  to  follow,  certain  rules 
wliich  you  will  have  to  obey,  and  the  more  thorough  your 
knowledge  of  these,  the  pleasanter  your  social  relations  will 
be,  both  to  yourself  and  others. 

Many  of  the  principal  of  these  rules  relate  to  the  respect 
which  you  are  to  show  in  certain  ways,  and,  in  greater  or 
less  degree,  to  all  whom  you  may  meet.  For  example,  you 
must  invariably  give  precedence  to  all  women — young  or 
old,  rich  or  poor — to  all  old  people,  to  all  invalids,  and  to 
all  to  whom,  from  their  position  or  cliaracter,  you  desire  to 
show  especial  respect — that  is,  that  you  must  never  enter  a 
room,  carriage,  etc.,  before  such  persons,  or  precede  them 
through  doors,  gates,  etc.,  or  seat  yourself  before  they 
are  seated;  but,  on  the  contrary,  should  always  be 
ready  to  assist  them  by  the  numberless  little  attentions 
which  a gentleman  has  it  in  his  power  to  bestow.  Do  you 


56 


ON  HABITS  AND  MANNERS. 


ask  what  these  attentions  are?  Did  you  never  see  a gentle- 
man assist  a lady,  or  any  one  who  was  old  or  weak,  from  a 
carriage,  or  open  a door  for  them  to  pass  through,  or  carry  a 
parcel  for  them,  or  pick  up  anything  which  they  may  have 
dropped,  or  close  a window  for  them,  or  in  a hundred  w^ays 
do  something  for  them  which  it  would  be  hard  or  disagree- 
able for  them  to  do  for  themselves? 

If  you  will  notice  how  wide  the  difference  is  in  these 
matters  between  a rough,  untrained  man,  and  a gentleman, 
you  will  soon  be  convinced  of  their  importance  and  the  ne- 
cessity for  training  yourselves  to  remember  them,  for  every- 
where and  always  it  is  these  little  things  that  mark  a gen- 
tleman’s manner. 

You  must  not  pass  between  the  fire  or  the  light  and  any 
one;  must  not  sit  in  any  awkward  or  familiar  position  in  the 
presence  ot  others  ; must  not  smoke  without  asking  permis- 
sion ; must  not  cliew,  or,  above  all  things,  spit  ; must  not 
cough,  sneeze,  or  blow  your  nose  loudly  or  obtrusively.  You 
should  always  carry  and  carefully  use  a pocket  handkerchief ; 
and  with  it  cover  your  mouth  when  you  sneeze,  cough,  or 
yawn  (turning  your  head  aside  at  the  same  time),  while  the 
various  other  uses  to  which  it  can  be  put,  make  it  an  indis- 
pensable article  of  your  attire.  If  you  can  avoid  it,  you 
should  not  sit  or  stand  with  your  back  toward  any  one,  and 
when  in  company  should  never  yawn,  as  this  latter  is  a rude 


ON  HABITS  AND  MANNERS. 


57 


indication  that  you  are  tired  of  the  people  about  you. 

To  whistle  or  sing  audibly  is  in  very  bad  taste,  and  you 
must  most  certainly  not  allow  yourself  to  pick  your  teeth, 
scratch  your  head  or  any  part  of  yoUr  person,  clean  your 
nails,  or  take  any  similar  liberty  before  people. 

You  must  not  talk  in  a loud  voice,  call  loudly  to  attract 
another  person’s  attention,  must  not  use  rough  or  coarse  lan- 
guage, and  must  never,  anywhere  or  at  anytime,  be  guilty 
of  profanity.  In  regard  to  this  last  fault  I would  gladly 
speak  to  you  at  length  and  most  earnestly,  but  I think  the 
sin  has  been  wisely  summed  up  in  the  words  of  a famous 
clersTvinan  who  once  said  that  there  could  be  no  excuse  for 
profanity,  for  it  was  not  only  wicked  and  ungentlemanly,  but 
also  consummately  foolish,’'  a description  so  true  that  it 
ought  to  be  enough  to  deter  any  thoughtful  man  from  the 
use  of  so  called  strong  language.  In  a less  degree  it  also 
applies  to  any  coarseness  or  vulgarity  of  word  or  gesture, 
than  which  nothing  is  more  repugnant  to  refined  persons, 
and  as  this  is  a specially  dangerous  fault  for  young  men  who 
are  apt  to  take  a good  deal  of  license  among  themselves,  you 
will  have  to  guard  against  it  very  carefully,  remembering 
that  the  expressions  which  you  permit  yourself  to  use  habit- 
ually when  you  are  with  your  daily  companions,  will  almost 
invariably  crop  out  in  your  general  conversation.  If  you 
use  coarse,  rough,  language  and  gestures,  when  you  are  with 


58 


ON  HABITS  AND  MANNERS. 


the  men  and  boys  who  are  your  ordinary  associates,  you  will 
find  it  very  difficult  to  change  your  custom  when  you  are 
with  other  people,  for  which  reason  (and  for  many  others), 
it  is  best,  if  you  mean  to  be  a gentleman  at  all,  to  be  a gen- 
tleman always. 

When  the  door  of  a room  which  does  not  belong  to  you , 
or  in  which  you  have  not  at  least  an  equal  right  with  others, 
is  closed,  do  not  try  to  open  it,  but  knock  and  await  the  an- 
swer of  those  within.  When  you  enter  a room  always  re- 
move your  hat,  and  touch,  or  remove  it  when  you  meet  an 
acquaintance;  while  upon  your  first  entrance  into  a room 
you  should  speak  or  bow  to  each  person  in  it,  unless,  of 
course,  the  number  is  very  large,  and  should  do  the  same 
upon  leaving.  When  you  are  introduce!  to  any  one  you 
should  bow  ana  begin  a conversation  upon  some  subject  of 
common  interest,  shaking  hands,  in  this  country,  not  being 
usual  except  among  friends.  In  conversation  be  careful  not 
to  put  yourself  and  your  opinions  forward,  to  interrupt  any 
one  who  may  be  speaking,  to  talk  much  of  yourself  or  your 
own  affairs,  or  to  introduce  any  merel}^  personal  subject. 

Do  not  talk  (except  to  intimate  friends  or  in  private) 
about  the  state  of  your  health,  your  clothes,  your  teeth,  about 
anything,  in  short,  which  can  only  be  of  interest  to  yourself 
and  your  near  friends,  and  try  to  reach  a happy  medium  be- 
tween uneasy  shyness  and  presuming  self-confidence,  being 


ON  HABITS  AND  MANNERS. 


59 


quiet  and  unassuming,  but  neither  careless  nor  awkward. 

Do  whatyou  can  always  for  the  entertainment  ot  others^ 
and  when  you  join  in  games  or  similar  amusement,  do  so 
without  noise  or  roughness,  and  with  due  regard  to  the 
pleasure  ot  your  companions. 

If  you  are  a guest  in  the  house  of  others  you  must,  upon 
your  arrival,  first  greet  your  host  and  hostess,  and  never 
leave  without  making  a proper  farewell  to  them  ; in  your 
own  house  you  must  politely  and  kindly  receive  your  guests, 
doing  your  best  to  make  them  at  ease  and  to  give  them  plea- 
sure. When  you  are  away  from  home  you  must  be  careful 
to  take  no  liberties,  and  must  understand  that  many  things 
which  it  is  proper  to  do  in  your  own  house,  youkannot  do  in 
other  people’s  houses  without  rudeness. 

I believe  that  with  young  men,  as  with  young  women,, 
the  safest  means  to  obtain  graceful  and  pleasing  manners  is 
to  think  as  little  of  yourself  as  possible.  Of  course  it  is  ne- 
cessary for  you  to  give  some  thought  to  your  appearance  and 
to  your  general  demeanor,  but  my  meaning  is  that  you  are 
not  to  think  of  yourself  selfishly  or  with  over-sensitiveness. 
Do  not  be  too  anxious  as  to  the  opinion  that  may  be  formed 
of  you  ; do  not  constantly  wonder  whether  people  think  you 
are  good-looking,  or  well  dressed,  or  well-mannered,  or 
‘‘smart but  watch  closely  the  behavior  of  the  most  culti- 
vated people  you  know,  imitate  their  actions  when  you  are 


6o 


ON  HABITS  AND  MANNERS. 


in  doubt  or  ignorance  as  to  what  is  proper,  and  then  forget 
yourself  and  try  to  make  those  about  you  comfortable  and 
happy.  This  may  seem  to  you  an  odd  rule  whereby  to  mea- 
sure yourselves,  but  I assure  you  that  if  you  will  put  it  in 
practice  you  will  find  it  covers  a great  many  of  these  details 
which  seem  so  hard  to  master  when  you  are  obliged  to  take 
them  one  by  one.  You  will  find,  in  many  cases,  when  you 
are  perplexed  as  to  the  proper  thing  to  do,  that  the  answer 
to  the  cpiestion,  What  will  be  most  agreeable  to  those 
about  me?’’  will  solve  yoar  doubts  and  decide  correctly  f.r 
you.  For  example,  nothing  is  more  ill-bred  than  over-famil- 
iarity, and,  as  a general  thing,  nothing  is  more  disagreeable 
to  the  people  to  whom  it  is  oftered.  .Do  not  approach  too 
closely  to  any  one  to  whom  you  may  be  speaking,  especially 
if  it  be  a lady  ; do  not  touch  any  part  of  the  dress  or  person 
of  any  one  near  you  ; do  not  whisper,  point  or  stare ; do  not 
make  remarks  upon  the  appearance  of  others  while  you  are 
in  their  presence,  and  do  not  ridicule  or  make  fun  of  either 
strangers  or  friends. 

Do  not  keep  up  a private  conversation  to  the  exclusion 
of  other  people,  and  do  not  in  any  way  amuse  yourselt  at 
other  people’s  expense,  for,  as  I have  said  before,  the  rude- 
ness which  unnecessarily  wounds  another  person’s  feelings, 
is  just  as  inexcusable  as  the  rudeness  which  stares  a person 
out  of  countenance  or  occupies  a comfortable  seat  while 
some  tired  woman  stands. 


ON  HABITS  AND  MANNERS. 


6? 

If  you  unintentionally  commit  any  rudeness,  or  trespass 
upon  the  rights  of  others,  you  must  never  fail  to  ask  [lardon 
at  once,  saying  I beg  your  pardon,”  or  Excuse  me,”  or 
using  some  similar  form  of  words,  and,  when  possible,  must 
atone  tor  your  rud'eness  in  other  ways  as  well. 

In  church,  at  concerts,  lectures,  or  any  public  gathering, 
you  must  always  be  quiet  and  orderly,  on  no  account  talking 
in  a loud  voice,  or  in  any  way  making  a disturbance  or  at- 
tracting attention  ; while  at  church  or  any  religious  meeting 
your  behavior  must  be  reverent  and  marked  by  proper  re- 
spect for  the  place  wherein  you  are,  and  the  occasion  which 
has  called  you  there. 

Applause  should  be  will-timed  and  general,  never  being 
kept  up  by  a few  when  it  is  evidently  the  general  wish  ot 
the  assembly  that  it  should  cease,  and  never  bein  g permitted 
to  become  boisterous  or  uncontrollable. 


CHAPTER  X. — In  General  Society — (Continued.) 


FOR  YOUNG  men. 

You  should  try  always,  when  you  are  among  people,  to 
sit  or  stand  quietly,  unless  there  is  good  reason  for  moving. 
To  shuffle  your  feet,  move  your  chair  uneasily,  fidget  with 
any  part  of  your  dress,  or  anything  you  may  be  holding,  is 
very  annoying,  and,  if  you  allow  it  to  become  a habit,  will 


62 


ON  HABITS  AND  MANNERS. 


often  make  you  an  unpleasant  companion  to  well-bred  peo- 
ple. Teach  yourself  to  do  what  you  have  to  do  neatly  and 
quickly,  and  then  do  not  embarrass  yourself  and  others  by 
constant  and  needless  movement. 

You  probably  sufficiently  appreciate  the  importance  of 
showing  deference  to  those  whose  years,  station  or  character 
make  their  claim  to  it  evident,  but  I should  like  to  make 
you  feel  that  it  is  a good  thing  to  practice  politeness  toward 
your  companions  whom  you  consider  on  an  equality  with 
yourself,  and  not  especially  entitled  to  respect.  The  minor 
courtesies  of  society  cost  so  little  when  they  have  once  be- 
come habitual,  and  go  so  far  toward  making  life  smooth  and 
pleasant,  that  you  will  find  it  no  waste  of  time  to  practice 
them  in  your  intercourse  with  your  fellow  students  and  la- 
borers. Do  not  be  ashamed  to  offer  a seat,  or  a newspaper, 
to  say  “thank  you”  for  any  little  kindness,  to  pick  up  any- 
thing that  your  companion  may  have  dropped  and  return  it 
to  him  ; but,  on  the  other  hand,  be  always  ashamed  to  keep 
on  your  hat  even  in  a room  full  of  men,  to  spit  recklessly 
here  and  there,  to  yawn  in  a friend’s  face,  to  take  the  best 
seat,  to  ridicule  or  mock  any  unavoidable  peculiarity  in  an- 
other, to  roughly  reject  or  ignore  any  favor  done  for  you, 
because  for  your  own  sake,  if  you  are  not  moved  by  any  less 
selfish  reason,  you  had  better  give  your  companions  such 
treatment  as  you  in  turn  desire  to  receive.  More  than  this. 


ON  HABITS  AND  MANNERS, 


63 


there  are  few,  even  among  rough  boys,  who  do  hot  feel  the 
charm  of  a courteous  and  kindly  manner,  and  the  example, 
in  this  respect,  of  a single  boy  may  work  greater  good  than 
pages  of  written  advice. 

It  is  not  unusual  to  hear  boys  and  very  young  men  say, 
scornfully  or  carelessly,  that  all  these  things  are  for  girls  : 
“men”  have  no  time  or  need  for  them,  but  surely  in  so  say- 
ing they  prove  nothing  but  their  own  ignorance  or  laziness. 
If  you  will  make  a fair  trial  of  this  matter  you  will  find  that 
it  is  possible  to  be  refined  and  gentlemanly  in  spite  of  hard 
work,  small  opportunities  and  a rough  life,  and  it  is  foolish 
for  you  to  undervalue  the  importance  to  you  of  a pleasing 
and  sensible  manner.  A man’s  success  in  life  is  sure  to  be 
more  or  less  affected  by  the  external  proof  which  he  gives  of 
the  training  he  has  received,  and  it  will  be  greatly  to  your 
advantage  if  early  in  life  you  teach  yourselves  to  be  polite 
and  careful  in  your  behavior  to  all  people. 

In  your  intercourse  with  all  members  of  the  opposite 
sex,  of  whatever  class  or  age,  it  is  proper  for  you  to  pay  cer- 
tain attentions  and  evince  a more  marked  respect  than  is 
expected  from  you  toward  your  own  sex.  There  are  many 
particulars  in  which  your  behavior  must  be  modified  by  the 
presence  of  ladies,  and  as  the  social  regulations  upon  this 
point  are  very  exact,  you  will  need  to  study  and  observe 
them  with  care. 


64 


ON  HABITS  AND  MANNERS. 


When  you  meet  a lady  with  whom  you  are  acquainted, 
in  the  street,  you  must  bow  and  remove  your  hat,  and  must 
usually  pass  her  on  the  outer  side,  leaving  to  her  what  is 
presumably  the  best  and  safest  part  of  the  path  or  pavement, 
while  in  walking  with  a lady  you  must  also  take  the  outer 
side.  When  you  are  introduced  to  a lady,  bow  and  speak  at 
once,  and  when  a lady  speaks  to  you,  remember  you  are 
bound  to  reply,  and  reply  politely,  under  all  circumstances. 
If  you  are  walking  with  a lady  who  is  a friend,  you  can,  in 
the  evening,  offer  her  your  arm,  which  she  can  take  or  re- 
fuse, at  her  own  pleasure  ; in  the  daytime  you  need  not  offer 
your  arm,  but  must  be  watchful  to  give  any  aid  she  may 
seem  to  require  in  the  way  of  getting  in  and  out  of  car- 
riages, boats,  cars,  etc.,  stepping  over  any  obstacle  or  avoid- 
ing any  difficulty. 

You  must  not  usually  permit  a lady  to  open  doors,  gates, 
etc.,  for  herself,  but  must  open  them  for  her,  standing  back 
to  allow  her  to  pass  through  before  you.  You  must  not,  on 
any  account,  smoke  in  a lady’s  presence,  even  if  she  is  an 
intimate  friend  or  relative,  without  first  asking  her  permis- 
sion, and  as  to  the  disgusting  habit  ot  spitting,  I trust  that  I 
have  already  impressed  upon  you  that  it  is  never  permissi- 
ble before  ladies  or  any  number  of  people. 

You  must  not  remain  seated  while  a lady  is  standings 
but  must  always  try  to  find  for  her  a comfortable  and  con- 


ON  HABITS  AND  MANNERS, 


65 


venient  seat,  and  when  there  is  any  thing  to  be  seen  or  heard, 
must  not  fail  to  give  her  the  best  place.  To  push  or  jostle  a 
lady,  to  force  yourself  in  front  of  her,  to  take,  in  any  way, 
advantasre  of  her  inferior  size  and  streno-th,  is  the  hei2:ht  of 
rudeness,  and  is  an  act  of  which  no  true  gentleman  is  ever 
guilty.  On  the  contrary,  you  should  use  your  strength  for 
her  advantage,  allowing  her  in  your  presence  to  do  notliing 
disagreeable  or  arduous  for  lierself  which  you  can  pjroperly 
do  for  her.  When  you  are  with  ladies  you  must  be  particu- 
larly careful  to  fall  into  no  awkward  or  familiar  positions. 
Do  not  sit  or  stand  with  your  hands  in  your  pockets  ; do  not 
lounge  or  sit  with  your  feet  higher  than  your  he  id  ; do  not 
whistle  or  hum;  do  not  yawn,  and  especially  do  not  permit 
yourself  any  of  those  liberties  wliich  I have  already  told  you 
are  entirely  forbidden  in  general  society. 

Remember  what  I have  said  to  you  in  legard  to  the  use 
of  your  pocket  handkerchief,  and  how  careful  you  must  tfe 
about  blowing  your  nose,  sneezing,  picking  your  teeth,  etc. 
Then,  too,  you  must  scrupulously  avoid  annoying  a lady  by 
any  coarse  words  or  gestures,  or  by  any  rude  attempt  at 
familiarity.  Let  your  manner  to  a lady  be  always  modest, 
quiet  and  attentive,  roughness  and  noisy  talk  being  always 
repugnant  to  well  bred,  modest  women. 

When  you  are  playing  games  in  which  ladies  join,  or 
dancing,  or  engaged  in  any  social  amusement,  you  must  allow 


66 


ON  HABITS  AND  MANNERS. 


yourself  always  to  be  governed  by  the  pleasure  of  the  ladies ; 
they  must  take  the  lead  and  you  must  follow — that  is,  yo^ 
must  permit  them  to  choose  what  they  will  do  and  how  it 
shall  be  done,  and  must  waive  your  own  opinion. 

You  must  not  get  up  games  or  conversation  among 
yourselves  to  the  exclusion  of  the  ladies  who  are  present, 
and  must  be  careful  when  refreshments  are  offered  to  see  that 
the  ladies  are  properly  served  before  you  help  yourselves. 
If  a lady  drops  a handkerchief,  gloves,  etc.,  you  must  at 
once  pick  it  up  and  politely  return  it  to  her,  and  if  you.unin- 
tentionally  commit  any  rudeness,  such  as  stepping  on  her 
dress,  failing  to  answer  when  she  speaks,  etc.,  you  must  at 
once  apologize  and  do  what  you  can  to  atone  for  it.  If  a 
lady  is  reading  a book  or  paper  you  must  not  ask  her  to  give 
it  up  to  you,  but,  on  the  other  hand,  if  you  are  using  any- 
thing which  you  think  she  wants,  you  must  offer  it  to  her, 
and,  if  she  desires  it,  give  it  up  at  once.  You  should  never 
scrutinize  closely  a lady  or  her  dress,  and  should  never  make 
remarks  about  her  ; indeed,  this  is  carried  so  far  that  it  is  a 
point  of  honor  among  gentlemen  not  to  discuss  freely  among 
themselves  the  character  or  appearance  of  their  lady  friends* 

A lady  desires,  above  all  things,  to  be  respected,  and 
you,  as  gentlemen,  can  show  your  respect  for  her  in  no  bet- 
ter way  than  by  refusing  to  talk  about  her  among  your 
companions.  If  you  wish  to  accompany  a lady  home  from 


ON  HABITS  AND  MANNERS. 


67 


any  evening  entertainment,  you  must  ask  her  permission 
and  be  careful  not  to  force  yourself  upon  her,  while  if  you 
do  accompany  her,  you  must  not,  upon  reaching  her  home, 
go  in,  unless  she  gives  you  an  invitation  to  do  so. 

The  choice  as  to  whether  or  no  she  will  make  or  keep 
up  your  acquaintance  rests  always  with  her,  and  in  paying 
formal  visits  you  must  keep  strictly  within  the  rules  which 
society  lays  down.  You  must  never  call  without  an  invita- 
tion, unless  you  go  with  a friend  who  has  the  right  to  intro- 
duce you.  You  must  always  call  upon  your  hostess  within 
a few  days  after  any  entertainment  to  which  she  may  have 
invited  you,  whether  you  have  been  present  or  not.  You 
must  leave  your  card  or  your  name  at  the  door  when  you 
enter,  and  you  must  not  make  the  mistake  of  unduly  pro- 
longing your  visit.  Ten  minutes  is  quite  sufficient  for  an 
ordinary  call,  and  unless  there  are  special  reasons  for  so  doing, 
you  had  better  not  exceed  thatlirnitor  you  will  find  yourself 
in  the  dreaded  category  of  bores.’’ 

If  you  have  reason  to  suppose  that  you  have  offended 
a lady  by  any  rudeness  or  carelessness,  it  is  your  duty  to 
offer  a proper  apology  or  explanation,  and  you  need  feel  no 
false  shame  in  so  doing,  for  a true  lady  will  always  respect 
your  intentions  even  though  they  may  be  awkwardly^ 
expressed. 

In  the  above  I have  throughout  used  the  term  lady,” 
partly  because  it  was  convenient  for  me,  and  partly  because 


68 


ON  HABITS  AND  MANNERS. 


it  conveyed  to  you  something  more  than  the  word  ^^woman” 
or  but  I want  you  to  understand  that  what  I have 

said  includes,  with  very  few  exceptions,  the  whole  sex. 
Your  schoolmates,  your  mothers  and  sisters,  the  young  girls 
with  whom  you  commonly  associate,  all  should  receive  from 
you  deference  and  kindly  respect. 

Do  not  let  the  rules  and  hints  which  have  been  given 
you  serve  only  when  you  are  in  the  company  of  your  teachers 
or  those  whom  you  yourselves  consider  as  ‘Madies/’  or  those, 
in  short,  of  whom  you  have  a little  wholesome  fear,  but  let 
them  control  your  everyday  life  and  regulate  your  conduct 
toward  your  girl  companions,  your  relatives  and  borne 
friends.  You  may  be  sure  that  it  is  just  as  rude  and  ungen- 
tleraanly  to  push  through  a door  before  the  girl  who  stands 
next  to  you  in  class,  as  before  the  lady  who  teaches  you,  and 
that  the  boy  who  keeps  on  his  hat  in  a room  full  of  girls, 
and  suddenly  removes  it  when  a teacher  looks  in,  has  a great 
deal  to  learn,  and  is  not  on  the  right  road  to  learn  it. 

Furthermore,  if  you  do  not  yourselves  show  respect  to 
the  women  of  your  own  kindred  and  race,  you  will  have  no 
right  to  expect  such  respect  from  other  men,  which  is  a full 
and  sufficient  reason  for  you  to  be  toward  them,  even  more 
than  toward  others,  scrupulous  and  courteous  in  thought 
and  deed. 


ON  HABITS  AND  MANNERS. 


69 


The  following  chapters,  for  the  use  of  travelers,  have 
been  written  especially  for  this  volume  by  Miss  H.  W.  Lud- 
low, w^hose  experience  in  travelling  with  our  students  and 
in  the  South  generally,  has  given  her  imusual  opportunity 
for  observation. 

CHAPTER  XI. 

MANNERS  ON  THE  ROAD. 

Here  is  a true  story.  One  summer  day  a steamboat 
stopped  at  Old  Point,  Virginia,  and  took  on,  among  other 
passengers,  quite  a large  number  of  young  colored  people  of 
both  sexes.  Some  of  these  went  on  board  loudlj  talking  and 
laughing,  pushed  their  way  up  stairs  to  get  th,e  first  places 
by  the  rail  of  the  upper  deck,  from  wliich  they  called  and 
shouted  to  their  friends  onshore  till  the  boat  started;  others, 
hurrying  into  the  cabin,  made  for  the  best  seats,  lounging  on 
the  sofas,  and  exchanging  free  jokes  with  their  companions 
in  loud  tones,  till  tlieir  behavior  drew  upon  them  the  atten- 
tion of  all  the  passengers  within  seeing  and  hearing  distance. 

That's  the  beauty  of  educating  Negroes,”  said  one  of  a 
group  of  southern  white  gentlemen  standing  near,  and  his 
lip  curled  with  disgust. 

“Sir,’’  replied  another,  a man  of  high  birth  and  standing 
in  the  State,  “I  have  visited  the  Hampton  Normal  School, 
and  I know  its  Principal,  and  have  seen  its  students,  and 
I’ll  wager  you  that  there’s  not  a Hampton  student  in  that 


70 


ON  HABITS  AND  MANNERS 


crowd,  but  those  are  some  of  them  yonder,  and  there  are 
some  more,  behaving  like  ladies  and  gentlemen.  I can  pick 
them  out  for  you  anywhere  on  the  boat — so  quiet  and  neat 
and  well  mannered  that  they  haven’t  even  attracted  your 
attention.”  To  confirm  his  words,  this  champion  of  Hampton 
students  took  pains  during  the  trip  to  approach  the  diflferent 
groups  and  talk  separately  witli  each  individual,  inquiring 
in  his  kind  and  fatherly  way  where  they  had  come  from  and 
what  were  their  plans  for  life.  In  not  one  single  case  did 
he  find  his  first  conviction  a mistake,  as  he  has  since  told  not 
only  the  friends  who  were  with  him,  but  more  than  one 
ofi&cer  and  teacher  of  Hampton  Institute,  very  much  to  their 
gratification,  as  you  may  imagine.  And  some  of  them  were 
gratified  again,  recently,  by  hearing  from  a northern  lady 
visiting  Hampton  for  a second  time,  that  having  no- 
ticed some  quiet  act  of  politeness  to  a stranger  done  by  a 
young  colored  man  of  intelligent  and  pleasant  appearance^ 
on  a railway  train  in  Massachusetts,  she  had  “wondered  if  he 
were  not  from  Hampton  Institute/’  knowing  that  its  stu- 
dents had  sometimes  found  work  in  that  neighborhood,  and 
on  inquiry,  found  this  to  be  the  case. 

We  tell  3^)11  these  pleasant  incidents,  assured  that  they 
will  incite  many  of  you  to  do  all  in  your  power  to  win  the 
same  good  opinion  for  yourselves,  and  keep  up  the  good 
reputation  of  Hampton  students. 


ON  HABITS  AND  MANNERS. 


71 


And  what  are  good  manners  on  the  road?  We  have 
only  to  adapt  to  the  special  circumstances  of  travel  the  gen- 
eral rule  with  which  we  started,  that  politeness  at  its  foun- 
dation is  thoughtfulness  for  others  and  a proper  sense  of  our 
own  relations  to  our  surroundings.  All  through  life,  as  a 
poet  has  said, 

We  all  are  travellers  Vvho  throng 
A thorny  road  together.” 

To  take  the  thorns  out  of  others’  way  will  make  the  road 
smoother  for  ourselves  also,  and  let  us  not  be  a thorn  in  their 
way  if  we  can  help  it. 

You  will  gather  from  the  first  of  our  true  stories  above, 
that  good  manners  on  the  road,  as  elsewhere  in  public,  are 
quiet  manners.  Ladies  or  gentlemen  will  not  wish  to  make 
themselves  conspicuous  among  strangers,  therefore  talk 
quietly  together,  or  with  the  friends  who  come  to  see  you 
off.  Demonstrative  farewells  are  supposed  to  have  been 
made  at  home.  A kiss  should  be  held  sacred  for  the  nearest 
and  dearest,  and  they  will  not  wish  to  make  a display  of  it. 
For  the  rest,  a friendlj^  handshake  is  enough,  and  remember 
again  that  that  does  not  mean  a torturing  grip  that  will 
leave  its  memory  in  aching  joints. 

TO  YOUNG  WOMEN. 

Quietness  of  manner  should  accompany  you  all  the  way, 
and  will  be  your  best  passport  and  safeguard.  If  you  are 
traveling  alone,  be  especially  careful  of  your  behavior.  Don’t 


72 


ON  HABITS  AND  MANNERS. 


enter  into  familiar  conversation  with  men  who  are  stransrers 
to  you.  Look  out  for  your  pocket  book,  and  remember,  too, 
that  as  Shakespeare  says,  ‘‘Who  steals  my  purse  steals  trash.’’ 
Remember  that  you  have  your  own  self-respect,  the  rep- 
utation of  Hampton  students,  and  the  good  name  of  the 
women  of  your  race  to  sustain.  Not  long  ago  a Hampton 
girl  was  going  North  for  the  summer ; money  had  been  sent 
her  for  her  fare  ; alter  paying  her  passage  on  the  steamboat, 
she  put  the  balance  for  her  railroad  ticket  into  her  satchel. 
Unfortunately,  not  being  perhaps  much  accustomed  to  trav- 
eling, she  left  her  stateroom  door  unlocked  and  her  satchel 
lying  on  the  berth.  When  she  returned  it  had  disappeared. 
G-reatly  distressed  she  went  to  the  stewardess.  AVhile  telling 
her  sad  loss  a white  gentleman  drew  near,  and  hearing  her 
account,  said  to  the  stewardess,  “Where  does  this  young 
woman  come  from  ? ’ “ From  Hampton  Institute,  sir.”  “ I 

can’t  see  a Hampton  student  suffer  when  I can  help  it,”  said 
the  gentleman,  and,  taking  out  his  pocket  book,  presented 
her  with  a two  dollar  bill  to  replace  the  one  she  had  lost. 
It  seems  to  me  there  are  several  less;)ns  in  this  story,  and  I 
will  leave  them  to  you  to  find  out. 

Be  observant  of  all  about  you.  A great  deal  can  be 
learned  on  a journey,  not  only  of  geography,  but  of  human 
nature  and  social  customs.  One  good  rule  is  not  to  do  things 
or  go  into  places  that  you  see  no  one  else  do  or  enter.  A young 
girl,  taking  a short  journey  alone,  amused  herself  for  some 


ON  HABIT  AND  MANNERS. 


73 


time  by  watching  the  ways  of  people  in  the  same  car,  and 
seeing  one  very  pleasant,  modest  looking  young  lady,  not  far 
off,  resolved  that  she  would  take  her  for  a model  all  the  way. 
She  thought  she  was  so  pretty  and  sweet  looking  that  she 
gave  her  in  her  thoughts  her  favorite  name,  and  called  her 
jJIiss  Charlotte.  Observing  that  Miss  Charlotte  put  her 
satchel  in  the  rack  above  her,  set  her  umbrella  in  the  corner 
by  her,  and  folded  her  shawl  over  the  seat  behind  her,  occu- 
pying thus  only  the  half  seat  she  sat  in,  Sarah,  as  we  will 
call  her,  took  hers  from  the  seat  beside  her  and  stowed  them 
away  in  like  manner,  though  many  others  in  the  car  were 
spreading  their  belongings  over  a whole  seat.  At  the  next 
station  a great  many  people  got  in,  and  Sarah  looked  rather 
anxiously  to  see  what  Miss  Charlotte  would  do.  As  usual, 
the  women  and  children  entered  the  car  first,  looking  from 
side  to  side  for  a seat.  Many  who  sat  alone  in  a seat  turned 
their  heads  and  looked  out  of  the  window,  leaving  their 
baggage  to  speak  for  them ; some  declared  that  the  seat  was 
^^engaged.”  Miss  Charlotte  looked  pleasantly  at  the  first 
woman  and  child  who  entered.  The  woman  hesitated,  but 
seeing  Sarah’s  seat  so  near,  sent  her  little  boy  to  that  and  sat 
down  very  gladly.  Several  were  left  standing,  but  when 
the  conductor  came  in  he  found  seats  for  all,  and  Sarah  was 
very  thankful  that  she  was  not  one  ot  those  whose  baggage 
he  unceremoniously  removed  to  accommodate  some  of  those 


74 


ON  HABITS  AND  MANNERS. 


they  would  have  least  welcomed.  When  the  cars  stopped 
for  dinner,  Miss  Charlotte  proved  to  have  brought  her  lunch 
basket  with  her,  and  as  Sarah  also  had  some  sandwiches 
and  fruit  in  her  satchel,  she  had  another  opportunity  of 
w^atching  her  model.  She  was  glad  that  she,  too,  had  a nice 
clean  napkin  to  spread  on  her  lap,  and  though  she  had  no 
pretty  fruit  knife  like  Miss  Charlotte,  she  followed  very 
closely  her  example  of  neatness,  keeping  her  crumbs  in  her 
napkin,  and  folding  her  apple  cores  and  peach  stones  in  a 
paper,  wondering  indeed  why  she  didn’t  throw  them  out  of  the 
window  as  some  did,  till<^she  saw  slie  was  only  waiting  till 
the  train  had  moved  out  of  the  station  and  away  from  the 
town,  where  they  would  be  annoying  to  passers  by.  Seeing 
the  little  boy  by  her  side  look  longingly,  as  children  will,  at 
her  fruit,  Sarah  would  have  liked  to  offer  him  one,  but 
fearing  that  his  mother  might  not  think  it  best  for  him,  she 
held  it  up  with  an  inquiring  look,  as  she  caaght  her  eye. 
The  mother  smiled  and  nodded,  and  Sarah  offered  it  to  the 
little  fellow.  He  looked  towards  his  mother,  who  said, 

‘ Wou  may  take  it,  Tommie,  and  say  thank  you.”  Sarah 
was  pleased  to  see  that  Miss  Charlotte  saw  it  too,  and  was 
delighted  when  she  gave  her  a pleasant  smile.  After  that 
the  little  fellow  became  quite  sociable  and  she  enjoyed  his 
childish  talk  ; but  nothing  more  of  note  happened  till,  when 
at  the  next  station  Miss  Charlotte  was  getting  off,  as  she 
jjassed  Sarah’s  seat  her  veil  was  caught  and  drawn  off,  and 


ON  HABITS  AND  MANNERS. 


75 


she  went  on  without  perceiving  it,  till  Sarah,  hurrying  after^ 
handed  it  off  of  the  platform,  calling  ‘‘Oh,  Miss  Charlotte, 
here  is  your  veil  you  dropped.’’  “Oh,  thank  you  very 
much,”  said  the  young  lady  with  surprise,  “but  my  name  is 
not  Charlotte,  did  you  think  it  was?”  “Oh,  no,  ma’am — I 
— beg  your  pardon,”  said  Sarah,  her  cheeks  growing  very 
hot.  The  pretty  young  lady  looked  puzzled,  but  laughed 
and  said,  “Well  I thank  you  very  much  all  the  same,”  and 
there  was  no  time  for  more,  the  train  moved  off,  and  Sarah 
took  her  seat  again,  and  wondered  all  the  way  what  “Miss 
Charlotte"’  would  imagine  about  it,  and  what  her  name 
really  was,  and  where  she  lived,  and  what  she  would  think 
if  she  could  know  she  had  been  a “ model.”  But  she  never 
saw  her  again,  and  that  is  all  the  story.  You  might  make 
up  a great  deal  prettier  ending  if  you  were  to  try,  no  doubt, 
and  imagine  a great  many  more  circumstances. 

Some  people  get  into  trouble  by  asking  direction  of 
strangers  about  them,  ratlier  than  of  the  proper  officials. 
Ticket  agents,  conductors,  pursers,  stewardesses,  and  police- 
men, are  responsible  persons,  part  of  whose  business  is  to 
direct  strangers.  If  irresponsible  persons  mislead  you  by 
accident  or  design,  you  have  generally  yourself  to  blame. 
Other  people,  especially  women  traveling  alone  and  unused 
to  traveling,  make  themselves  very  annoying  and  provoke 
discourteous  answers  by  asking  very  foolish,  unnecessary 
questions  of  the  officers  of  the  road,  or  requesting  something 


76 


ON  HABITS  AND  MANNERS. 


they  have  no  authority  or  right  to  do.  As  we  have  said 
elsewhere,  keep  your  eyes  open.  Read  notices  ; they  are  put 
up  on  purpose  to  be  read.  When  you  need  to  make  inqui- 
ries, make  them  clearly  and  modestly  of  the  proper  persons, 
and  you  will  seldom  receive  anything  but  a courteous  an- 
swer, for  which  or  for  any  help  rendered  even  by  one  who  is 
paid  to  do  it,  it  is  always  proper  to  say  “ Thank  you.”  lie 
cannot  be  paid  for  the  courtesy  with  which  he  does  his  duty, 
except  by  corresponding  courtesy  in  those  for  whom  he  does  it. 

When  you  approach  your  destination,  or  have  to  change 
cars,  thii]k  about  your  trunk.  Don’t  forget  to  check  it,  and 
never  give  up  your  check  except  to  an  official,  or  without  a 
receipt.  It  is  always  well  to  Ipok  when  your  trunk  is  check- 
ed, to  be  sure  that  the  numbers  correspond,  on  the  check  you 
hold  and  that  on  your  trunk.  It  is  well  to  also  write  the 
number  of  your  check,  and  tlie  name  or  letters  on  it,  in  your 
note  book.  This  will  enable  the  railroad  or  express  company 
to  trace  your  trunk  if  it  is  lost.  If  you  give  your  trunk  to 
an  express  agent  be  sure  that  he  takes  the  right  address  and 
check  number,  and  take  care  of  the  receipt  he  gives  you.  It 
is  safe  to  give  your  check  to  a city  hack  driver  to  get  your 
trunk  if  you  are  going  to  take  it  on  the  carriage  with  you; 
his  hack  is  numbered  and  he  is  responsible.  But  if  you  are 
not  going  with  it,  don’t  give  your  trunk  or  check  to  any  man 
who  oflers  to  take  it,  with  no  receipt.  Many  trunks  have 


ON  HABITS  AND  MANNERS 


77 


been  stolen  in  this  way.  If  you  don’t  know  how  to  manage^ 
ask  the  conductor,  or  stewardess,  or  a policeman,  according 
to  where  you  may  be.  But  keep  your  own  wits  about  you, 
and  when  you  leave  car  or  boat  or  station,  count  your  be- 
longings and  see  that  you  leave  nothing  behind.  If  you 
should  ever  leave  anything,  go  to  the  office  of  tlie  company, 
or  the  station,  where  many  things  thus  lost  are  brought. 
It  is  always  well  to  have  everything  clearly  marked  with 
your  name — satchel,  umbrella,  shawl  strap,  overshoes,  pocket 
book,  etc. 

The  matter  of  dress  comes  up  in  traveling  as  everywhere 
else.  It  is  always  a mistake  to  dress  showily  for  traveling. 
For  short  distances  in  summer,  a simple  calico  or  gingham, 
clean  and  neat,  with  clean  collar,  and  straw  hat  with  ribbon, 
is  quite  appropriate  and  much  more  ladylike  than  a white 
muslin  with  gay  ribbons,  and  hat  with  light  flowers  or  lace, 
getting  more  and  more  soiled  every  mile  of  the  way.  In 
the  same  way,  for  long  journeys  or  cool  weather,  a plain  dark 
alpaca  or  woolen  stuff,  with  clean  collar,  dark  sack,  and  hat 
with  dark  ribbons,  makes  the  best  kind  of  traveling  dress, 
much  better  than  anything  light  or  showy.  All  cannot 
afford  a special  traveling  dress.  That  is  not  neccessary,  but, 
choose  a plain,  quiet  dress  to  travel  in  and  let  it  be  neat  and 
whole.  And  clean  hands  are  better  than  dirty  and  ragged 
or  showy  gloves.  A young  girl  we  once  saw,  who,  unwill- 


78 


ON  HABITS  AND  MANNERS. 


ing  to  lose  the  effect  of  her  rings,  had  put  them  on  outside 
her  gloves,  had  certainly  made  a sad  mistake.  Strong  ser- 
viceable shoes,  large  enough  to  be  perfectly  comfortable,  and 
worn  enough  to  be  used  to  them,  are  best  at  any  time,  and 
especially  for  a journey.  In  our  changeable  climate,  a gos- 
samer, overshoes,  umbrella  and  shawl,  save  much  danger 
from  exposure  on  a long  journey.  A good  supply  of  hand- 
kerchiefs and  collars  should  also  be  in  your  satchel.  A cel- 
luloid collar  and  cuffs  can  be  worn  with  comfort  and  washed 
off  like  a china  plate  every  night.  If  you  engage  a sleeping 
car  or  berth,  be  sure  to  loosen  your  clothes  thoroughly  to 
give  your  lungs  free  play  on  lying  down.  Serious  illness 
may  result  from  neglect  of  this.  With  a little  management, 
it  is  quite  possible  to  do  this  even  in  the  narrow  limits  of  a 
sleeping  car,  and  to  remove  the  dress,  folding  neatly  and 
laying  it  at  the  foot  of  the  berth,  slipping  on  a loose  sack, 
comfortable  to  sleep  in  and  proper  to  appear  in  in  case  of 
emergency.  The  trouble  this  takes  will  be  well  rewarded 
by  the  rest  of  the  night  and  the  comfort  of  the  day  on  a long 
journey. 

CHAPTER  XL — Manners  on  the  Road — (Continued.) 

TO  YOUNO  MEN. 

The  matter  of  dress  touches  you,  too.  Don’t  try  to  look 
like  a dude,  and  don’t  be  negligent  of  your  appearance.  In 


ON  HABITS  AND  MANNERS. 


79 


these  days  of  celluloid  collars  and  cufis,  no  one  need  wear 
soiled  linen.  A clean  flannel  shirt  is  better  than  a dingy 
white  one  ; a straw  or  felt  hat  better  than  a silk  one  ; well 
blacked  shoes  look  better  than  light  or  flashy  ones^  while 
clean  hands  and  nails  are  the  sign  manual  of  a gentleman — 
rings  are  no  iraprovenient  to  them. 

Don't  buy  coarse  pa[>ers  or  dime  novels.  A man  is 
known  by  what  he  reads.  Buy  the  respectable  journals  and 
read  wdiat  is  going  on  in  your  country. 

Don’t  strew  peanut  shells  on  the  floor,  and  don’t  make 
the  compartment  you  occupy  so  foul  and  revolting  that  a 
woman — or  a decent  man — will  rather  stand  up  than  sit 
down  there. 

As  I have  just  cautioned  our  girls  as  to  their  behavior 
towards  men  who  are  strangers  to  them  on  the  road,  so  do 
I most  earnestly  say  to  you,  ^mung  men,  protect  the  woman- 
hood of  your  race.  If  a lack  of  self-respect  on  the  part  of  a 
woman  is  pitiable  and  sickening,  the  attempt  of  a man 
to  take  advantage  of  such  lack  is  contemptible  and  un- 
pardonable. Stand  ever  ready  to  protect  or  aid  without 
presuming  on  anything  great  or  small  that  you  may  be  able 
to  do.  Towards  women,  young  or  old,  whom  you  meet  on 
the  road,  let  your  b^phavior  be  guided  by  this  thought: 

How  should  I want  a man  to  treat  my  sister  or  my  mo- 
ther ?” 


8o 


ON  HABITS  AND  MANNERS. 


I do  not  forget  that  to  colored  people  in  America  the 
question  of  manners  on  the  road  may  involve  at  times  pecu- 
liarly difficult  and  trying  positions,  and  cases  where  the 
courtesy  will  seem  very  one-sided.  But  while  I understand 
and  deplore  this,  and  wdile  I admit  that  there  may  be  cir- 
cumstances when  it  will  be  right  and  necessary  to  make  a 
stand,  in  a proper  and  lawful  way,  for  one’s  lawful  rights,  I 
believe  that,  especially  in  these  cases,  propriety  of  deport- 
ment on  your  own  part  will  do  more  than  anything  else  to- 
wards securing  for  you  fair  and  proper  treatment  from 
otliers.  And  trying  as  are  some  of  the  inconsistencies  of 
treatment,  of  which  you  have  just  cause  to  complain — the 
penumbra  of  slavery’s  dark  eclipse  out  of  which  your  race  is 
passing — I am  sure  that  a glance  over  the  past  will  encour- 
age you  by  the  j)erception  that  these  very  inconsistencies  are 
on  the  hopeful  side  and  show  what  you  have  gained,  not  lost, 
of  rights  and  privileges.  I am  sure,  too,  that  you  will  agree 
with  me  that  the  improvement  has  been  owing,  in  a great 
measui'e,  to  the  progress  and  the  proper  deportment  of  your 
people.  The  incidents  with  which  I began  this  chapter 
show  you  how  this  is  recognized  by  both  North  and  South. 
Thus  every  one  of  you  can  do  something  to  help  it  on,  and 
with  this  inspiring  thought  I wish  you  each,  wherever  you 
go,  a pleasant  journey. 


ON  HABITS  AND  MANNERS 


8t 


CHAPTER  XIII. 


LETTER  WRITING, 

There  are  certain  well-defined  rules  in  regard  to  the 
arrangement  of  a letter,  its  address,  date,  signature,  etc.,  with 
which  you  ought  to  be  tamiliar,  and  you  also  need  to  un- 
derstand the  regulations  of  general  correspondence — that  is, 
you  should  know  the  difierence  between  a business  letter  and 
a note  of  invitation,  between  an  unceremonious  line  to  a 
friend  and  a polite  and  careful  letter  to  a stranger.  In  fact, 
there  is  a good  deal  to  be  learned  before  you  can  write  a 
neat,  graceful,  properly  expressed  letter,  and  as  the  ability 
to  do  so  should  be  one  important  result  of  your  education, 
you  must  try  to  familiarize  yourselves  as  rapidly  as  possible 
with  the  art  of  letter  writing. 

In  the  first  place,  then,  whatever  tlie  object  and  style  of 
a letter  may  be,  and  to  whomsoever  it  may  be  written,  it 
must  always  be  dated — the  name  of  the  place  from  which, 
and  the  day  of  the  week  and  month  upon  which  it  is  writ- 
ten, being  placed  in  the  upper  right  hand  corner  of  your 
sheet  of  paper.  Give  it  plenty  of  room,  and  if  the  letter  is 
of  special  importance,  add  in  figures  the  date  of  the  year  as 
well.  A little  lower  down,  and  upon  the  left  side,  write  the 
name  of  the  person  you  are  addressing,  always  with  a 
proper  prefix  ; to  a stranger,  Dear  Sir,”  or  Dear  Madam 


82 


ON  HABITS  AND  MANNERS 


to  a frieud,  whatever  your  taste  and  affection  may  dictate. 
Directly  below  this,  and  again  a little  to  the  right,  the  body 
of  your  letter  should  begin.  This  should  be  broken  into 
paragraphs,  should  be  written  in  perfectly  straight  lines  (it 
is  best  to  accustom  yourself  to  use  unruled  paper),  and  should 
be  so  arranged  as  not  to  close  either  at  the  extreme  top  or 
bottom  of  your  sheet,  as  this  always  gives  an  awkward  look, 
and  by  a little  care  can  be  avoided,  while  you  must  specially 
avoid  making  blots  and  erasures. 

Having  completed  your  letter,  you  have  still  the  envel- 
ope to  address,  and  this  requires  quite  as  much  attention  as 
the  letter  itself,  for,  as  you  know,  it  is  only  by  means  of  a 
legible  and  correct  address  that  your  letter  can  reach  its  des- 
tination. Begin  somewhat  above  the  middle  of  your  envel- 
ope and  close  to  the  left  hand  corner,  with  the  plainly  writ- 
ten name  of  the  person,  giving  any  title  which  may  belong 
to  him  or  her.  Follow  this  a little  lower  down  and  further 
to  the  right  wHh,  if  it  is  to  go  to  a city,  the  street  and  num- 
ber ; if  it  is  to  go  to  any  institution,  office,  society,  etc.,  with 
the  requisite  address  of  such  place  or  society,  writing,  in  all 
cases,  after  this  (again  lower  down  and  more  to  the  right) 
the  name  of  the  village  or  city,  closing  with  the  name  of  the 
State.  'Vhen  there  is  no  number,  street,  or  special  address, 
the  name  of  the  village  or  town  follows  directly  after  the 
name  of  the  person,  and  in  cases  where  the  place  is  little 


ON  HABITS  AND  MANNERS 


83 


known  it  is  best  to  put  between  its  name  and  the  name  of 
tlie  State,  the  name  of  the  county  in  which  it  is  situated. 

The  following  is  a properly  written  note  with  envelope 
appended : 


My  dear  Uncle : — 


Hampton,  March  9,  1875. 


I arrived  here  last  night  and  write  at  once  in 
order  that  you  may  know  of  my  safety  and  feel  no  further  anxiety 
about  me. 

I have  a very  pleasant  room  and  am  sure  I shall  be  happy  here, 
provided  I can  keep  up  with  my  classes,  which  I certainly  mean  to 
do,  if  it  can  be  done  by  hard  work.  Of  course  I am  a little  home* 
sick  at  first,  and  everything  seems  strange  to  me,  but  I expected  that, 
so  do  not  feel  discouraged. 

I hope  you  will  write  to  me  often,  and  do  not  forget  to  give  my 
love  to  Jennie  and  Tom. 

It  is  time  for  me  to  go  to  school,  and  I am  going  to  begin  my 
education  by  learning  to  be  punctual,  so  the  rest  of  my  news  must 
wait  until  my  next  letter.  Hoping  to  hear  from  you  soon,  I am, 
Your  affectionate  Niece, 

Sarah  Thompson. 


Mr.  James  Thompson, 

Care  of  Mr.  Charles  Lee, 

18  William  St. 

Raleigh, 


North  Carolina. 


There  are  so  many  difierent  ways  of  prefacing  your  sig- 
nature that  it  is  impossible  and,  indeed,  unnecessary  to  enu- 


84  ON  HABITS  AND  MANNERS 

merate  them  here,  but  whatever  form  you  may  use  must  be- 
gin a little  below  and  to  the  right  of  the  final  line  of  your 
letter,  while  below  this,  and  to  the  right  again,  comes  your 
signature — that  is,  your  name,  either  written  at  length  or 
with  merely  the  initials  of  the  Christian  name  or  names, 
and  the  whole  surname. 

Your  sheet  of  paper  must  be  neatly  folded  to  fit  the 
envelope,  and  the  stamp  must  always  be  placed  in  the  upper 
right  hand  corner  where  it  will  not  cover  any  portion  of  the 
direction.  In  writing  the  direction  you  must  • remember 
that  post  office  officials,  in  distributing  letters,  always  read 
first  the  name  of  the  State,  then  the  city,  then  the  street,  and 
last  of  all  the  name  of  the  person,  for  it  is  in  that  way  that 
a mail  is  made  up,  the  letter  being  first  sent  to  the  destined 
State,  and  then  to  the  local  postmaster,  who  finally  gives  it 
to  the  person  for  whom  it  is  intended.  Your  direction, 
therefore,  should  not  be  so  written  as  to  crowd  the  latter 
part  of  it ; on  the  contrary,  write  the  names  of  the  village 
and  of  the  State  in  a large  and  clear  hand,  and  the  name  of 
the  person  in  somewhat  smaller  characters. 

Very  formal  notes,  notes  of  invitation,  etc.,  are  fre- 
quently written  in  the  third  person,  as, 

Philadelphia,  May  loth. 

Mr.  Smith  regrets  to  inform  Mrs.  Allen  that  he  is  unable  to  give 
her  the  information  she  desires,  but  believes  that  she  can  obtain  it 
from  Miss  Jay,  to  whom  he  encloses  a letter  of  introduction. 


ON  HABITS  AND  MANNERS  85 

Now  a letter  of  introduction  is  usually  given  by  a mu- 
tual friend  to  one  of  two  individuals  who  are  strangers  to 
each  other  (the  bearer  of  the  letter  presenting  it  to  the  per- 
son to  whom  it  is  addressed),  and  would  run  somewhat  as 
follows,  varying  of  course  according  to  the  facts  of  the  case  ; 

19  Columbia  St.,  Washington,  I 
December  6th.  ( 

My  Dear  Mr.  Turner: 

I take  pleasure  in  introducing  to  you  Mr. 
Henry  Otis,  a friend  and  neighbor  of  mine  who  is  intending  for  the 
present  to  reside  in  Washington.  Any  kindness  which  you  may  have 
it  in  your  power  to  show  him,  will  be  a personal  favor  to  me,  while  I 
am  sure  that  you  yourself  will  enjoy  his  society. 

Hoping  to  see  you  soon,  I remain, 

Very  truly  yours, 

Samuel  Warner. 

Notes  of  invitation  in  the  third  person  admit  of  little 
variation,  the  usual  form  being : 

Mrs.  Jones  requests  the  pleasure  of  Mr.  Knox’s  company,  on 
Wednesday  evening,  June  2d,  at  8 o’clock. 

Regrets  and  acceptances  are  framed  in  the  same  way* 
Business  men  use  certain  forms  of  correspondence  which 
presuppose  familiarity  with,  and  are  only  used  in  business 
circles,  but  every  young  man,  at  least,  ought  to  be  able  to 
write  a fair  business  note  according  to  established  form,  and 
although  one  example  does  not  by  any  means  cover  the 
ground,  it  will  enable  you  to  understand  the  usual  form : 


86 


ON  HABITS  AND  MANNERS 


New  York,  May  4,  1875. 

Messrs.  Brown,  Jones  & Co.,  Chicago. 

Gentlemen  : 

Yours  of  the  30th  ult.  received  and  contents  duly 
noted.  In  reply  to  your  enquiries  in  regard  to  sales  of  cotton  we 
would  say  that  there  is  little  demand  for  high  grades  at  present,  the 
market  being  dull  and  season  late. 

We  shall  do  nothing  without  further  orders  from  you. 

Your  obedient  servants, 

John  Smith  & Son. 

Letters  to  strangers  should  not  be  written  familiarly, 
although  the  ordinary  formula  is  retained  at  the  beginning. 
‘^Dear  Sir/’  or  ‘‘Dear  Madam/^  “Dear  Mr.,  Mrs.,  or  Miss,” 
are  always  correct,  while  you  may  sign  yourself,  “Respect- 
fully,’' or  “Very  respectfully  yours,”  “Truly,”  or  “Very 
truly  yours,”  “Faithfully  yours,”  “Sincerely  yours,”  or  by 
a variety  of  forms. 

In  using  postal  cards  you  should  remember  that  you  are 
at  the  mercy  of  the  public,  so  to  speak,  and  should  therefore 
write  nothing  that  you  are  unwilling  all  the  world  should 
read.  Telegrams  should  be  as  concise  as  possible,  the  ordi- 
nary forms  of  address  and  signature  being  omitted,  and 
merely  the  name  and  telegraphic  address  given.  It  is  good 
practice  to  occasionally  write  telegrams  upon  imaginary  bus- 
iness, in  order  to  learn  how  much  information  may  be  given 
and  received  within  the  compass  of  ten  words. 


ON  HABITS  AND  MANNERS  87 

It  is,  both  in  society  and  in  business,  your  duty  to  an- 
swer letters  fully  and  promptly,  reading  them  carefully  and 
making  full  acknowledgment  of  their  contents. 

In  writing,  as  in  talking  to  friends,  you  can  of  course 
allow  yourself  much  more  liberty,  but  at  the  same  time 
must  always  obey  the  rules  which  have  been  given  in  respect 
to  dates,  addresses,  etc.,  and  must  be  careful  to  keep  your 
lines  straight,  your  paper  clean,  and  your  whole  letter,  from 
the  date  at  the  beginning  to  the  stamp  on  the  envelope,  neat 
and  accurate. 

You  will  find,  moreover,  as  you  begin  to  attempt  letter 
writing,  that  you  can  never  learn  to  write  correctly  or  com- 
pose easily,  except  by  constant  practice,  and  whether  or  no 
you  get  such  practice  will  depend  mainly  upon  your  own 
conscientiousness  and  energy.  Paper,  pens  and  ink,  are 
within  the  reach  of  almost  all  of  you,  and  if  you  will  make 
a point  of  using  them  carefully  and  frequently  you  will  find 
that  the  bugbears  of  letter  writing  will  soon  disappear,  and 
that  which  to  many  of  you  is  now  a task,  will  not  only 
become  a pleasure  to  yourselves  but  will  enable  you  to  give 
pleasure  to  others. 


88 


ON  HABITS  AND  MANNERS 


CHAPTER  XIV. 

MINOR  MORALS. 

The  Christian  law  is,  as  I have  said  before,  so  closely 
interwoven  with  the  whole  fabric  of  modern  civilization  that 
many  ot  our  daily  habits,  and  much  of  our  social  life,  may 
be  said  to  come  properly  under  the  head  of  minor  morals* 
That  is,  there  are  many  forms  which  people  of  refinement 
observe  in  their  intercourse  with  each  other,  which  are  not 
only  matters  of  etiquette,  but  also  come  under  the  jurisdic- 
tion of  the  moral  law,  and  are  of  more  importance,  both  to 
individuals  and  to  society,  than  any  mere  ceremonies  can  be. 
It  is,  of  course,  often  very  diflS.cult  to  decide  just  when  and 
how  our  habits  or  our  manners  cease  to  be  ^‘right”  and 
‘‘wrong,/’  and  begin  to  be  merely  “proper’^  and  “improper,’^ 
and  I think  it  is  quite  certain  that  we  have  all  of  us  much 
to  learn  in  respect  to  that  morality  which  is  the  foundation 
of  society.  Therefore  I hope  that  you  will  be  glad  to  study 
a little  for  yourselves,  and  to  gain  a clearer  comprehension 
of  the  value  of  truth  and  honor  and  honesty  and  purity  in 
the  details  of  life,  even  when  those  details  are,  as  is  often  the 
case,  of  the  homeliest  and  roughest  description.  However 
unimportant  an  action  ma}^  seem  to  you,  however  small  the 
thing  to  be  done  may  be,  it  is  always  better  to  be  right  than 
wrong  about  it,  and  I want  to  speak  to  you  now  of  a few,  at 
least,  of  these  daily  habits  of  yours,  in  which  you  are  espe- 
cially likely  to  fall  into  error. 


ON  HABITS  AND  MANNERS.  89 

1 have  already  spoken  of  the  rudeness  of  mimicking, 
ridiculing,  or  in  any  way  ‘^making  fun’’  of  people  in  an  un- 
kind spirit,  and  I want  you  to  understand  that  it  is  not  only 
rude  but  also  really  wrong,  as  are  all  words  and  actions 
whereby  you  unnecessarily  wound  the  feelings  of  others. 
Try  at  all  times  and  in  every  way  to  be  considerate,  remem- 
bering that  deep  injury  and  grief  may  be  inflicted  by  what 
you  may  only  think  ‘‘a  little  thoughtlessness and  to  show 
you  how  far  such  thoughtlessness  may  go,  and  how  serious 
its  results  may  be,  I want  you  to  ask  yourselves  a few  ques- 
tions about  your  consideration  for  the  rights  of  other  people 
in  respect  to  tlieir  personal  property,  which  is  certainly  a 
serious  matter.  Do  you  not  frequently  borrow  from  your 
friends  and  schoolmates  articles  of  clothing,  books,  or  even 
money,  which  you  forget  to  return?  Do  you  not  sometimes 
even  take  such  little  things,”  as  you  probably  consider 
them,  without  asking  leave  of  their  owner,  and  although  at 
the  time  you  undoubtedly  mean  to  return  them,  do  you  not 
sometimes  And  that  you  are  unable  to  do  so,  and  thus  actu- 
ally end  by  committing  a dishonesty  ? This  carelessness  in 
regard  to  other  people’s  property  is,  I fear,  not  an  uncommon 
fault  among  you,  and  it  is  only  too  true  that,  while  you 
would  perhaps  never  do  deliberately  dishonest  things,  you 
are,  nevertheless,  sometimes  led  into  violations  of  the  eighth 
commandment  through  simple  thoughtlessness,  or  want  of 
consideration  for  the  distinction  of  mine  and  thine. 


90 


ON  HABITS  AND  MANNERS 


Now,  I think  that  you  must  see  for  yourselves  that  if 
you  do  not  overcome  this  fault  in  early  life,  it  will  inevita- 
bly grow  upon  you  as  you  grow  older,  and  cannot  be  other- 
wise than  harmful  in  its  effects  upon  your  moral  nature,  so 
that  your  duty  is  to  put  strict  guard  upon  yourselves  in  this 
respect  at  once  and  constantly.  Do  not  take  anything  which 
belongs  to  another  person,  without  first  asking  that  person’s 
leave,  and  not  even  then  unless  you  are  sure  of  your  ability 
to  return  it  or  its  equivalent.  Do  not  get  into  the  habit  of 
borrowing,  even  from  members  of  your  own  family,  for  such 
a habit  tends  very  surely  to  encourage  thriftlessness  and  im- 
prudence, and  you  will  find  that  in  the  end  you  are  very 
seldom  the  better  for  borrowed  things,  however  tempting 
they  may  be  at  the  moment.  If  you  make  strict  honesty 
the  habit  of  your  life  you  will  soon  discover  the  result  to  be 
an  independence  and  self-respect  which  is  of  infinite  value  to 
the  man  or  woman  who  has  rightfully  earned  it. 

In  the  preceding  chapters,  upon  your  behavior  in  gene- 
ral society,  I omitted  to  speak  to  you  in  regard  to  certain 
matters  of  politeness,  because  they  are  also,  and,  I think, 
primarily,  matters  of  morality,  and  one  of  these  omitted  sub- 
jects is  the  reading  of  other  people’s  letters  or  papers.  You 
know,  of  course,  that  few  things  are  meaner  or  more  dishon- 
orable than  to  open  any  letter,  paper,  or  package,  which  is 
addressed  to  anybody  else  ; but  I am  not  sure  whether  you 


ON  HABITS  AND  MANNERS  9I 

understand  that  this  extends  even  to  conamunications  which 
have  already  been  opened  by  the  person  for  whom  they  are 
intended.  That  is,  that  the  fact  of  letters,  etc.,  being  un- 
sealed and  open,  does  not  by  any  means  give  you  the  right 
to  read  them.  Not  only  must  you  not  take  letters  from  the 
trunks,  desks,  or  boxes  of  their  owners,  in  order  to  read 
them,  but  when  you  find  letters  lying  open  upon  a table,  for 
example,  or  the  floor,  you  must  scrupulously  avoid  satisfy- 
ing your  curiosity  as  to  their  contents.  If  you  want  to  find 
the  owner  of  a letter  thus  found,  you  can  generally  do  so  by 
looking  at  the  address  or  possibly  the  signature,  but  beyond 
that  you  must  never  permit  yourself  to  go.  This  rule  ap- 
plies also  to  unfinished  letters  which  your  companions  may 
have  left  within  your  reach  ; you  must  on  no  account  read 
them,  and  furthermore,  you  must  never  look  over  the  shoul- 
der of  a person  who  is  writing  or  reading  a letter — this  latter 
being,  to  say  the  least  of  it,  an  unpardonable  rudeness. 

Another  most  contemptible  habit  is  that  of  prying  about 
among  things  of  whatever  kind  which  belong  to  other  peo- 
ple. To  open  drawers,  trunks,  boxes,  etc.,  to  search  in  pock- 
ets, private  books,  or  similar  receptacles  ; in  short,  to  take 
any  sly  or  unfair  means  to  possess  yourself  of  information 
to  which  you  have  no  right,  is  so  evidently  wrong  that  I am 
sure  it  is  only  necessary  to  call  your  attention  to  it,  for  you 
can  see,  without  any  explanation  from  me,  how  ignoble  such 
conduct  is. 


92 


ON  HABITS  AND  MANNERS 


Again,  if  by  any  chance  you  become  the  possessor  of  in- 
formation which  was  not  intended  for  you,  your  only  proper 
course  is  to  keep  scrupulously  silent  about  it ; and  in  this 
connection  I want  to  say  something  to  you  about  the  too 
common  practice  of  reckless  gossiping  about  other  people’s 
aifairs.  I have  told  you  before  that  it  is  always  best  to  be 
careful  as  to  what  you  say,  or  listen  to,  about  your  neighbors, 
and  again  I must  remind  you  that  scandal  (which  usually 
means  repeating  unpleasant  and  harmful  stories  which  may 
or  may  not  be  true,  about  your  acquaintances)  is  always  to 
be  avoided,  because  it  is  almost  inevitably  injurious  both  to 
the  subjects  of  it  and  to  those  who  talk  it. 

Try  to  think  and  speak  well  of  your  neighbors  when- 
ever it  is  possible,  dwelling  always  rather  upon  their  virtues 
than  their  faults,  for  ^^charity  covereth  a multitude  of  sins,” 
and  charity  means  to  love  one’s  neighbor  as  one’s  self.  Do 
not  gossip  or  talk  carelessly  or  much  about  other  people’s 
affairs,  there  are  other  subjects  better  worth  talking  and 
thinking  of,  and  except  in  cases  where  you.  are  able  to  give 
advice  or  assistance  it  is  best  for  you  to  remember  that  usu- 
ally it  is  wise  and  kind  to  mind  one’s  own  business.  You 
will  understand  that,  used  in  this  sense,  ‘‘minding  your  own 
business”  does  not  imply  that  you  are  to  be  selfishly  wrapped 
up  in  your  own  affairs,  but  simply  that  you  are  to  permit  to 
others  the  same  freedom  from  interference  which  you  desire 
for  yourself. 


ON  HABITS  AND  MANNERS 


93 


Do  not  help  to  circulate  stories  of  the  entire  truth  of 
which  you  are  not  certain,  a thing  which  is  so  frequently 
done,  merely  for  the  sake  of  excitement,  that  it  and  its  com- 
panion fault  of  exaggeration  are  fixed  habits  with  many 
people.  Try  not  only  to  be  sure  of  the  truth  of  any  reports 
which  you  may  desire  to  repeat,  but  try  also  to  train  your- 
self to  exactitude  of  speech.  Weigh  your  words  ; be  sure 
that  you  know  just  what  they  mean  before  you  use  them, 
and  then  don’t  let  them  be  too  big  or  too  frequent.  State 
your  facts  with  as  much  accuracy  as  you  can  command,  and 
in  order  to  do  this  train  yourself  to  observe  carefully  and  to 
listen  attentively,  for  it  is  only  by  doing  this  that  you  can 
protect  yourself  from  constant  errors  in  your  descriptions 
and  statements. 

If  you  permit  yourself  to  fall  into  a habit  of  using  big 
words  simply  because  you  fancy  they  have  a fine  sound,  you 
will  find  them  snares  and  pitfalls,  for  they  will  tempt  you 
into  exaggerations,  into  saying  more  than  you  mean,  and 
very  often  into  actual  mis-statements  or  falsehoods.  As  a 
matter  of  elegance,  too,  you  should  avoid  grandiloquence  of 
speech,  for  nothing  is  more  likely  to  make  you  ridiculous  in 
the  eyes  of  sensible,  well-bred  people,  than  an  attempt  to 
unduly  magnify  your  subject  or  yourself  by  the  use  of  unne- 
cessary or  exaggerated  forms  of  expression.  This,  and  more 
also,  applies  to  all  words  or  expressions  which  are  in  the 


94 


ON  HABITS  AND  MANNERS. 


least  irreverent  or  profane,  of  which,  I think,  I may  safely 
tell  you  that  they  are  never  used  by  Christians  or  even  by 
persons  who  claim  nothing  more  than  mere  external  refine- 
ment. If  you  desire  to  gain  the  respect  of  either  of  these 
two  classes  of  people,  you  must  give  up  absolutely  the  use  of 
all  profanity,  irreverence  and  vulgarity  in  your  language, 
and  I would  also  once  more  advise  you  to  guard  yourself 
against  the  too  frequent  use  of  exclamations  of  any  kind,  for 
this  latter  is  very  commonly  only  a form  of  irreverence. 

This  whole  matter  of  guarding  your  speech  is  an  im- 
portant one,  for  with  the  tongue  you  can  commit  much  fol- 
ly, injury  and  sin,  and  you  must  remember  that  words 
which  are,  in  one  point  of  view,  only  ‘^the  breath  of  your 
mouths,’^  are,  in  another,  fixed  and  unalterable  facts,  potent 
for  good  and  evil.  Of  scandal,  of  profanity,  of  coarseness,  of 
unkindness,  words  are  the  chief  vehicle,  the  tongue  the  great 
agent,  while  of  a greater  sin  than  any  of  these,  the  burden 
lies  principally  upon  that  little  member”  which  is  too  of- 
ten ‘‘a  world  of  iniquity.’ ' 

I mean  the  sin  of  falsehood,  a sin  which  I fear  many  of 
you  do  not  sufiiciently  dread  and  fight  against,  but  which 
is  too  fatal  in  its  consequences  to  be  for  a moment  trified 
with.  Do  you  ever  stop  to  think  soberly  of  the  effect  upon 
a person  of  deliberate  or  even  thoughtless  untruthfulness? 
Do  you  realize  that  if  you  allow  yourself  to  become  habitu- 


ON  HABITS  AND  MANNERS. 


95 


ally  false  in  your  speech,  even  in  matters  of  little  import- 
ance, that  you  are  undermining  your  whole  moral  nature  and 
forfeiting  the  confidence  of  your  fellows,  thereby  fatally  in- 
juring yourself?  I cannot  and  need  not  speak  here  of  the 
innumerable  varieties  of  falsehood,  nor  of  the  far-spreading 
evil  which  a single  lie  may  work, — you  must  know  from 
your  own  experience  that  the  harm  which  a liar  can  do  to 
others  is  incalculable, — the  thing  that,  perhaps,  you  do  not 
understand  is  the  harm  which  a liar  does  to  himself,  and  the 
danger  of  the  first  steps  in  the  path  of  deceit. 

As  a general  thing,  of  course,  lies  are  told  for  some 
purpose,  to  conceal  a previous  lie,  to  obtain  some  advantage, 
or  for  some  similar  end,  and  in  each  case  are  only  the  begin- 
ning of  a long  course  of  deceit,  for  one  of  the  terrible  fea- 
tures of  falsehood  is  that  one  untruth  necessitates  another, 
the  alternative  of  confession  being  so  painful  that  tew  people 
have  the  courage  to  meet  it.  Such  deliberate  falsehood  is 
an  alarming  symptom  of  moral  disease,  and  the  mental  state 
which  produces  it  should  no  more  be  permitted  to  continue 
than  a fever  is  allowed  to  run  its  course  untended,  and  if 
you  will  resist  steadfastly  the  first  temptations,  you  will  find 
each  victory  easier  than  the  last,  for  your  moral  strength, 
like  your  physical  strength,  increases  by  use. 

Consider  well  the  fact  that  everything  is  against  the 
liar;  he  gains  nothing,  or  at  best  but  a temporary  advan- 
tage; he  loses  the  confidence  of  his  associates,  and  with  it 


g6  ON  HABITS  AND  MANNERS. 

his  best  chance  of  worldly  success ; he  loses  his  own  self- 
respect,  and  with  it  all  the  best  of  his  power  ; and  he  loses 
altogether  and  entirely  liis  claim  to  be  a servant  of  God,  the 
noblest  name  for  which  any  man  can  strive.  Like  all  other 
virtues,  truthfulness  can  be  gained  only  by  work  and  watch- 
fulness ; you  must  never  let  yourselves  grow  careless,  or  per- 
mit yourselves  to  believe  that  white  lies,’’  or  prevarica- 
tions, or  even  inaccuracies,  do  no  harm,  for  they  are  all  false 
lights  which  sooner  or  later  lead  away  from  the  pure  light 
of  truth.  You  can  win  few  things  for  yourselves  which  are 
better  worth  having  than  a habit  of  speaking  the  truth  at 
all  times  and  seasons  and  to  all  people,  and  if  there  is  one 
thing  more  than  another  which  you  ought  to  gain  before 
you  go  out  into  the  world  to  meet  its  temptations,  it  is  a 
horror  of  lying  and  liars.  And  here,  as  in  so  many  other 
respects,  you  can  help  yourselves  more  than  anybody  else 
can  help  you  ; you  can  remember  how  shocking  falsehood  is 
in  itself  and  in  its  consequences,  and,  with  God’s  help,  can 
determine  to  cast  in  your  lot  with  His  servants,  in  whose 
tongue  there  is  no  guile for  without  such  resolution  the 
lives  upon  which  you  are  just  entering  will  be  worth  little 
to  yourselves  or  your  fellow  men. 


ON  HABITS  AND  MANNERS. 


97 


CHAPTER  XV. 


MINOR  MORALS — (Continued.) 

Among  the  innumerable  forms  of  deceitfulne&s  there  is 
one,  VIZ. : the  withholding  of  the  truth,  of  which  I want  to 
speak  to  you  as  students,  and  which  I want  you  to  consider, 
as  it  aflfects  you  in  your  relation  to  each  other,  to  your  teach- 
ers, and  to  your  school.  I am  sure  that  there  are  few  of  you 
who  do  not  grow  to  have  a real  and  hearty  affection  for  the 
school  to  whose  influences  you  owe  so  much,  and  who  do  not 
feel  that  in  after  life  you  will  look  back  to  your  school  as  to 
a home,  with  interest,  with  gratitude,  and,  if  all  goes  well, 
with  honest  pride.  And  yet  I fear  that  you  do  not  often 
remember  how  much  the  character  and  success  of  your  school 
depend  upon  individual  scholars,  how  much  you  can  help 
your  teachers,  how  much  you  can  do  for  your  fellow  stu- 
dents, how  much,  in  short,  the  whole  tone  of  the  school  will 
depend  upon  you.  Xo  school  can  be  very  powerful  for  good 
unless  a majority  of  its  students  co-operate  with  the  teach- 
ers, and  make  the  honor  of  their  school  a real  thing,  so  real 
that  it  is  a live  influence  among  them,  and  this  can  only  be 
done  by  the  best  and  most  intelligent  scholars  uniting  to 
put  down  and  expel  the  vices  which  are  constantly  creeping 
in  among  their  younger  and  weaker  schoolmates.  You  will 
understand  better  than  I can  tell  you  how  much  there  is 


98 


ON  HABITS  AND  MANNERS. 


which  is  wrong  and  foolish  going  on  among  you,  which 
your  teachers,  however  deeply  it  may  grieve  them,  can  hard- 
ly reach  without  your  assistance,  and  that,  therefore,  your 
personal  responsibility  is  very  great.  When  you  become  a 
member  of  a school  you  become  responsible,  not  only  for  your 
indivdual  life  in  it,  but  for  its  honor  and  good  name,  and 
there  is  nothing  which  a student  should  feel  more  keenly 
than  any  disgrace  befalling  his  school,  above  all,  when  it  is  a 
disgrace  which,  to  a greater  or  less  extent,  may  be  chargea- 
ble to  his  own  carelessness  or  wrong  doing. 

Now  while  there  are  many  ways  in  which  you  can  show 
your  allegiance  to  your  school  and  your  determination  to 
make  its  record  honorable  and  its  name  respected,  there  is 
one  in  particular  which  often  involves  some  troublesome 
questions  and  requires  much  consideration — I mean  that 
courageous  telling  of  truths  for  the  good  of  the  school,  which 
you  know  will  bring  upon  you  from  some  of  your  compan- 
ions the  accusation  of  tale-telling,  an  accusation  which  must 
always  be  very  painful  to  any  right-minded  boy  or  girL 

Tale-telling  is  emphatically  mean,  but  there  is  a wide 
difierence  between  glibly  complaining  of  some  fellow  stu- 
dent’s mistake  or  misdemeanor,  and  conscientiously  and  so- 
berly reporting  to  the  school  officers  anything  which  you 
are  convinced  is,  unknown  to  them,  injuring  or  interfering 
with  the  work  of  the  school,  or  poisoning  the  moral  atnios- 


ON  HABITS  AND  MANNERS. 


99 


phere.  This  latter  you  are  bound  in  honor  to  do  even  at  the 

cost  of  great  pain  to  yourself ; it  is  a duty  w^hich  you  owe  to 

% 

the  school  as  an  organization  of  which  you  are  a responsible 
member,  and  in  doing  it  you  need  to  be  sure  only  of  two 
things:  first,  that  your  report  is  accurate;  second,  that  it 
is  made,  not  for  the  sake  of  telling  tales,  but  because  you 
know  that  in  no  other  way  can  the  evil  be  remedied. 

To  take  or  attempt  to  take  the  law  into  your  own  hands 
on  such  occasions,  is  almost  always  worse  than  useless,  for 
you  are  not  in  a position  of  authority,  and  usually  have  nei- 
ther the  experience  nor  the  judgment  necessary  to  enable 
you  to  deal  justly  and  wisely  with  the  offender.  Tlie  only 
honest  and  courageous  course  for  a student  wlio  becomes 
aware  of  a serious  misdemeanor  on  the  part  of  a fellow  stu- 
dent, is  to  report  at  once,  without  exaggeration  or  reserva- 
tion, to  the  proper  authorities,  and  to  be  guided  as  to  his 
own  action  entirely  by  their  decision. 

By  this,  and  by  a conscientious  obedience  to  the  laws  of 
the  school,  you  can  vastly  strengthen  the  hands  of  your 
teachers,  and  you  can  do  your  share  in  the  honorable  and 
lasting  work  of  building  up  a Christian  college  for  your  peo- 
ple, a work  of  which  your  own  experience  must  already  have 
taught  you  the  inestimable  importance. 

Throughout  all  your  school  life  jou  should  remember 
that  the  time  which  you  spend  in  study  is  entirely  and  sina- 


lOO 


ON  HABITS  AND  MANNERS. 


ply  a time  of  preparation.  The  great  work  of  life  opens  before 
you  when  the  school  doors  close  behind  you,  and  from  that 
day  forward  you  will  in  all  probability  have  little  time  or  op- 
portunity for  merely  personal  cultivation.  You  have  spent 
months,  possibly  years,  in  sharpening  your  weapons,  and 
when  the  day  comes  for  using  them  they  should  be  keen  and 
true,  or  your  chance  in  the  crowded  field  will  be  snaall.  Re- 
member, then,  that  your  school  hours  are  precious,  that  the 
knowledge  which  you  acquire  in  them  is  the  foundation  of 
all  that  you  will  get  in  after  life,  and  that  the  habits  which 
you  then  form  will  remain  always  at  the  base  of  your  char- 
acter. In  your  school,  under  the  guiding  and  protecting 
influence  ot  your  teachers,  you  have  an  opportunity  to  form 
and  strengthen  both  your  moral  and  intellectual  nature,  and 
you  cannot  too  strongly  feel  the  importance  of  making  the 
best  use  of  your  advantages,  I believe  that  most  of  you  un- 
derstand the  value  of  the  education  which  you  get  from 
books,  and  that  upon  that  point  I need  say  little  to  you. 
You  know  that  without  such  education  you  can  do  little  or 
nothing ; that  with  it,  the  world  of  art,  of  science,  of  busi- 
ness is  open  to  you,  and  ou  are  aw  are  that  in  order  to  ob- 
tain it  you  must  pay  the  price  of  persistent  hard  work,  but 
in  regard  to  the  habits  of  life  which  you  are  forming  day  by 
day,  I fear  your  convictions  are  not  so  clear. 

In  respect  to  these  habits,  then,  I have  something  to 
say  to  you  before  we  part,  and  although  it  may  seem  to  you 


ON  HABITS  AND  MANNERS. 


lOI 


to  be  to  some  extent  a reiteration  of  what  has  been  said  be- 
fore, yet  I hope  to  be  able  to  put  the  facts  before  you  in  a 
new  and  clearer  light. 

The  habit  of  courtesy,  of  consideration  for  others,  the 
habit  of  truth  telling  and  of  feir  dealing,  the  habit  of  self- 
control,  you  can  form  in  yourselves  (as  soon  as  you  are  old 
enough  to  appreciate  their  importance),  no  matter  how  great 
your  early  disadvantages  may  have  been,  provided  you  can 
place  yourselves  for  a time  under  favorable  conditions,  and 
nowhere  can  you  find  these  conditions  so  well  as  in  a good 
school.  In  such  a school  you  are  thrown  into  close  contact 
with  a large  number  of  young  men  and  women,  under  such 
regulations  that  courtesy,  consideration  and  self-control,  be- 
come matters  of  course,  while  the  association  with  cultivated 
teachers  is  of  very  great  personal  assistance  to  you.  All  the 
circumstances  are  helpful,  for  you  have  not  only  individual 
ambition  as  a spur,  but  you  have  also  an  ambition  to  keep 
up  the  reputation  of  the  school,  and  a desire  that  neither 
those  who  have  graduated  before  you  nor  those  who  are  to 
come  after  you,  shall  have  reason  to  be  ashamed  of  your  re- 
cord. 

You  have,  in  short,  as  I have  already  told  you,  what  is 
probably  the  best  opportunity  you  can  ever  obtain  to  make 
yourself  strong  for  good  and  against  evil,  and  in  order  to  use 
your  opportunity  wisely  you  ought  to  consider  what  are 
your  special  weaknesses  and  temptations. 


102 


ON  habits  and  manners. 


Do  you  ever  stop,  for  example,  to  think  how  frequently 
idleness  ruins  men  and  women,  and  whether  you  yourself 
are  doing  your  best  to  form  a habit  of  industry?  Are  you 
conscientious  about  your  work,  filling  every  hour  set  apart 
for  labor  with  useful  employment,  or  do  you  shirk  and  evade, 
doing  only  what  you  are  obliged  to  do  and  doing  that  not 

very  energetically  or  persistently  ? Do  you  realize  that  the 

% 

command  ^‘Whatsoever  thine  hand  findeth  to  do,  doit  with 
thy  might,’’  is  applicable  to  all  your  undertakings,  because 
slip  shod,  unregulated  work  is  never  good  or  successful,  and 
you  can  never  do  little  things  well  unless  you  are  in  earnest 
about  them. 

If  you  have  thought  much  about  this  matter  of  indus- 
try you  must  already  have  learned  that  it  is  not  only  all- 
essential as  regards  your  worldly  success,  but  that  it  has  also 
a most  important  and  certain  infl.uence  upon  your  character. 
If  you  permit  yourself  to  become  careless  about  your  work, 
to  fall  into  irregular,  unpunctual  habits,  you  will  find  that 
it  affects  your  whole  life  and  injures  you  seriously  in  many 
ways,  gradually  unfitting  you  for  any  kind  of  persistent  la- 
bor, and  making  you  finally  useless,  shiftless,  and  utterly 
unsuccessful.  Begin,  then,  in  school,  where  everything  is 
in  your  favor,  to  make  yourself  conscientiously  industrious, 
and  do  it  as  a matter  ot  principle,  for  as  the  years  go  on  you 
w’ill  find  that  there  is  spiritual  as  well  as  material  truth  in 


ON  HABITS  AND  MANNERS. 


103 


the  proverb,  ‘‘The  soul  of  the  sluggard  desireth  and  hath 
nothing,  but  the  substance  of  a diligent  man  is  precious.’’ 

Hand  in  hand  with  the  vice  of  idleness  goes  frequently 
another  almost  equally  dangerous  vice,  that  of  waste;  and 
the  temptations  to  it  among  young  people  are  usually  very 
great.  You  have  not  yet  learned  by  experience  the  danger 
of  wasteful  aud  the  value  of  economical  habits,  and,  as  a 
general  thing,  youth  has  more  temptations  to  spend  than 
incentives  to  save.  Usually  you  have  no  one  dependent 
upon  you  ; you  are  strong  and  hopeful  and  not  afraid  of  the 
“ rainy  days”  against  which  older  people  are  constantly  ad- 
vising you  to  provide.  You  scarcely  see  why  you  should 
trouble  yourself  now  to  form  a habit  of  economy,  and  it 
seems  very  hard  and  unreasonable  that  you  should  be  told 
to  deny  yourself  pleasures  now^  in  order  to  prepare  for  a very 
uncertain  future.  But  if  you  are  wise,  you  will  learn  as  wise 
men  since  the  foundation  of  the  world  have  learned,  ‘^from 
the  ant,  which  provideth  her  meat  in  the  summer  and  gath- 
ereth  her  food  in  the  harvest,”  and  will  understand  that 
your  material  prosperity  will  largely  depend  upon  your 
thrift.  Furthermore,  waste  is  in  itself  sinful ; we  have  no 
right  to  squander  and  misuse  anything,  but  should  honestly 
economize  and  make  the  best  use  of  everything  which  passes 
through  our  hands,  whether  it  be  our  own  or  another’s. 

The  food  which  we  waste,  which  might  feed  the  hungry. 


104 


ON  HABITS  AND  MANNERS. 


clothing  which  we  neglect  and  abuse,  which  might  cover  the 
naked,  tools  or  material  of  any  kind  which  we  wear  out  and 
destroy  by  rough  handling  or  carelessness,  money  which  we 
spend  thoughtlessly — for  all  these  we  are  accountable,  and 
neither  here  nor  hereafter  can  we  escape  from  our  responsi- 
bility. 

Diligence  and  thrift  are  at  the  foundation  of  worldly 
prosperity  and  are  also  most  emphatically  Christian  virtues, 
and  neglect  of  them  in  your  youth  will  cost  you  in  Jater  life 
a heavy  price,  while  I am  inclined  to  press  upon  you  their  im- 
portance, because  as  a people  you  have  had  in  the  past  little 
opportunity  to  practice  them,  and  are  therefore  specially 
likely  to  undervalue  them. 

A virtuous  life  is  a many-sided  life  ; if  you  mean  to  be- 
good  men  and  women  it  will  not  suffice  for  you  to  cultivate 
merely  those  virtues  which  are  easy  and  pleasant  to  you,  so 
growing  in  one  direction  only,  but  your  endeavor  must  be  to 
develop  evenly  and  healthfully  upon  all  sides;  and  now,  in 
these  years  whicli  are  set  apart  as  a time  of  preparation  for 
the  work  and  care  and  responsibility  which  will  surely  be  the 
lot  of  every  one  of  you,  you  should  constantly  and  earnestly 
remember  how  precious  is  every  hour.  All  that  you  learn 
now  is  just  so  much  working  capital  for  the  rest  of  your 
lives,  and  if  properly  used  you  will  find  that  it  will  never 
fail  to  bring  you  a heavy  interest  upon  all  the  time  and 


ON  HABITS  AND  MANNERS. 


lOS 

strength  its  accumulation  may  have  cost  you.  All  the 
knowledge  you  get  from  books,  all  the  experience  you  gain 
of  different  forms  of  labor,  all  the  good  habits  you  form,  may 
be  considered  as  permanent  investments,  which,  by  a little 
determination  on  your  part,  may  be  made  continuously  and 
increasingly  profitable,  and  the  honorable  ambition  to  elevate 
yourselves  and  your  people,  which,  I believe,  most  of  you 
feel,  ought  to  help  you  greatly  in  overcoming  the  obstacles 
which  God  in  his  omniscience  has  seen  fit  to  put  in  your  path. 

You  know  better  than  I can  tell  you  what  those  obsta- 
cles are,  and  I believe  you  are  rapidly  learning  what  I have 
again  and  again  told  you  in  these  pages,  that  they  can  only 
be  surmounted  or  removed  by  patient,  hard,  intelligent  work. 
For  such  work  you  have  now  the  opportunity  ; in  it  you 
have  the  warm  sympathy  and  wise  assistance  of  teachers  and 
friends,  to  it  you  liave  every  stimulus  that  human  life  can 
offer. 

More  than  all  this,  and  I believe  that  there  are  many  of 
you  wdio  have  a deep  and  honest  sense  of  the  truth  of  what  I 
am  going  to  say,  you  have  the  humble  faith  that  you  are  the 
children  of  an  all-wise  Father  whose  will  it  is  honor  and 
gladness  to  fulfil,  in  whose  justice  you  can  most  absolutely 
trust.  If  you  can  put  love  for  Him  at  the  foundation  of  your 
lives,  all  the  details  of  which  I have  tried  to  teach  you, 
something,  will  seem  neither  trivial  nor  impossible, you  will 
know  the  meaning  of  that  beautiful  old  verse, — 


io6 


ON  HABITS  AND  MANNERS. 


“A  servant,  with  this  clause, 

Makes  drudgery  divine  ; 

Who  sweeps  a room  as  for  Thy  laws, 

Makes  that  and  the  action  fine.” 

And  you  can  so  order  your  ways  that  wherever  you  may  be, 
or  whatever  may  be  your  work,  you  can  feel  and  show  that 
you  are  about  your  Father's  business. 

It  is  to  this  end  that  all  decency,  all  courtesy,  all  honor, 
all  study  tend,  and  this  is  the  conclusion  of  the  whole  mat- 
ter : ‘^Fear  God  and  keep  his  commandments,  for  this  is  the 
whole  duty  of  man/’ 


CHAPTER  XVI. 

HOUSE  AND  HOME. 

The  corner  stone  of  all  civilization  is  the  Family ; the 
existence  of  families  includes  the  existence  of  homes,  and  a 
home  pre-supposes  a house,  so  that  we  are  swiftly  and  easily 
led  to  comprehend  the  importance  to  the  human  race,  or  at 
least  to  all  civilized  members  of  it,  of  the  houses  which  shel- 
ter them,  and  which,  furthermore,  supply  so  lar^e  a share  of 
the  comforts,  the  charms,  the  sweet  and  powerful  influences 
of  Home. 

The  effect  of  well  built,  convenient,  attractive  houses, 
is  hardly  to  be  overrated  ; tliey  are  so  supremely  civilizing 


ON  HABITS  AND  MANNERS. 


107 


\ 


I that  men  and  women  can  hardly  fail  to  be  made,  in  one  way 
>:  or  another,  the  better  for  living  in  them  ; they  seem  to  offer 
a premium  upon  neatness  and  taste,  and  are  a constant  stim- 
ulant to  the  desire  for  comfort  and  beauty,  which  is  common 
to  all  people  above  the  level  of  barbarians.  No  young  man 
at  the  outset  of  his  life  can  have  a safer  or  wiser  ambition 
than  that  which  he  gains  from  his  desire  to  become  a house- 
holder; no  young  woman  can  go  far  wrong  who  believes  that 
to  become  a housekeeper,  in  the  true  meaning  of  the  term,  is 
a good  and  beautiful  thing,  and  neither  of  these  positions 
are,  as  a general  thing,  to  be  lightly  won  or  easily  kept.  A 
^ man  who  has  only  his  own  labor  to  depend  upon  must  make 
up  his  mind  to  much  hard  work  and  some  self  sacrifice  be- 
fore he  attains  to  the  undivided  ownership  of  a suitable  and 
comfortable  house  ; and  a woman,  who  in  her  childhood  and 
youth  has  known  little  or  nothing  of  the  details  of  properly 
organized  housew^ork,  needs  to  lay  up  a stock  of  courage  and 
perseverance  w^hen  she  promises  herself  to  become  a true 
housekeeper. 

But  both  man  and  woman  find  themselves  amply  repaid 
for  all  their  labor  and  sacrifice  when,  the  goal  being  won, 
the  house  and  home  are  theirs,  and  they  can  rest,  as  did  the 
wdse  men  of  old,  under  the  safe  and  beautiful  shelter  of  their 
own  vine  and  figtree. 

Now,  taking  for  granted  the  desire  and  resolution  to 


ON  HABITS  AND  MANNERS. 


io8 

make  homes  for  yourselves  which,  I believ^e,  exist  among 
most  of  you  to  whom  these  chapters  are  addressed,  there 
follow  at  once  the  practical  questions:  first,  What  is  the 
safest  and  quickest  way  of  becoming  the  owner  of  a house, 
open  to  a man  who  works  for  his  daily  bread?’’  and  second, 
^‘What  is  the  best  and  most  convenient  plan  for  building  a 
suitable  house  on  limited  means?” 

The  answer  to  the  first  question  will  vary  to  a certain 
extent  with  circumstances,  but  in  the  main  will  remain  the 
same,  and,  to  show  that  the  principle  upon  which  it  is  based 
has  already  been  successtully  demonstrated,  I quote  from  an 
editorial  in  the  Southern  Workman  for  October,  1875,  which 
describes  an  undertaking  similar  to  many  which  have  been 
initiated,  and  in  a majority  of  cases  successfully  carried 
through,  in  the  South,  from  that  date  to  the  present. 

Commencing  in  April,  1871,  a gentleman,  resident  in 
the  South,  built  and  sold  to  negroes  forty-nine  houses,  be- 
sides selling  to  them  sixteen  vacant  lots.  Only  three  of  the 
houses  were  paid  for  in  cash.  Twenty-four  of  the  remaining 
houses  have  been  paid  for  in  full,  chiefly  in  monthly  instal- 
ments. The  other  twenty^-two  were  sold  for  $10,755,  of 
which  $5,650  has  been  paid.  Xo  case  has  yet  occurred,  or  is 
likely  to  occur,  in  which  it  has  been  or  will  be  necessary  to 
turn  out  a purchaser  for  default.  First  payments  of  from 
one-tenth  to  one-fifth  have  always  been  insisted  on,  partly 


ON  HABITS  AND  MANNERS  IO9 

as  a means  of  sorting  out  the  better  class,  and  partly  because 
having  paid  their  fifty  or  one  hundred  dollars,  they  would 
make  great  eflforts  rather  than  lose  it.” 

The  cost  of  these  houses,  built  as  above  described,  was^ 
as  the  figures  show,  about  five  hundred  dollars  apiece,  and 
every  one  of  the  forty-nine  purchasers  has  found  it  in  his 
power  to  pay  from  fifty  to  one  hundred  dollars  (or  more) 
down  at  once,  and  to  continue  monthly  payments  of  fion:^ 
five  to  ten  dollars. 

The  security  of  the  gentleman  who  thus  offers  his  expe- 
rience, lay  in  the  fact  that  lie  withheld  the  deed  of  house  and 
lot  until  the  whole  price  was  paid,  giving  the  purchaser  a 
contract  to  give  him  the  deed  when  the  last  payment  should 
be  made,  and  he  made  his  profit,  which  was  very  small,  by 
buying  a large  tract  of  land  and  building  by  wholesale.  The 
interest  was  included  in  the  instalments,  and  this  served 
often  to  hasten  payments,  the  whole  arrangement  being,  in 
short,  exactly  similar  in  its  results  to  a mortgage. 

A man  buying  a single  lot  and  building  a single  house^ 
could  hardly,  of  course,  do  it  on  such  advantageous  terms  as 
the  above ; but  the  diflcerence  would  not  be  very  great,  and 
in  a neighborhood  w^here  a number  of  steady,  industrious 
men  were  willing  to  unite,  land  could  be  bought  and  houses 
put  up  at  the  cheapest  possible  rates,  the  necessary  money 
being  borrowed  from  a bank  or  an  individual  upon  mort- 


r 10 


ON  HABITS  AND  MANNERS. 


gages  on  each  house  and  lot.  In  this  case  the  mortgage 
and  interest  thereon  would  be  paid  oft  by  instalments  exact- 
ly as  the  monthly  payments  were  made  to  the  gentleman 
from  whom  I have  quoted,  and  the  results  in  each  case  would 
be  the  same. 

The  fact  that  forty-nine  men  have  been  found  in  any 
one  locality  who  could  in  this  manner  purchase  houses  for 
themselves  (and  I ask  you  again  to  notice  that  there  has  not 
been  a single  defaulter)  establishes  a fair  precedent,  as  the 
circumstances  in  this  instance  were  not  specially  favorable, 
and  the*successful  purchasers  were  simply  working  men  of 
ordinary  honesty  and  perseverance.  Any  sober,  industrious 
man,  with  a thrifty  wife  who  is  willing  to  do  her  share  of 
the  work,  can,  if  he  is  getting  average  w^ages,  pay  in  less 
than  three  years  for  a house  and  lot  which  will  provide  for 
him  and  his  family  a comfortable  home  for  a lifetime,  and 
he  can  do  it  with  very  little  more  exertion  than  would  be 
required  to  pay  the  rent  of  an  inferior  house  for  the  same 
length  of  time. 

The  advantages  of  owning  a house  in  distinction  to  hir- 
ing one,  are  so  great  as  to  need  only  the  briefest  mention, 
and  most  of  you  must  already  have  learned  that,  for  many 
reasons,  hired  houses  make  very  uncertain  and  unsatisfactory 
homes.  There  is  no  better  investment  for  a certain  propor- 
tion of  a man’s  capital  than  a house  and  lot,  and  tlie  earlier 


ON  HABITS  AND  MANNERS. 


Ill 


in  life  he  makes  the  investment,  the  more  profitable  it  will 
be,  not  only  as  a direct  saving  of  money,  but  also  and  prin- 
cipally in  a higher  sense.  In  the  first  place,  he  saves  for 
himself  the  profit  which,  in  i)aying  rent,  he  puts  in  another 
man's  pocket ; he  avoids  the  uncertainty  which  must  always 
accompany  the  occupation  of  another  man’s  house,  and  the 
expense,  discomfort  and  loss  caused  by  frequent  removals 
from  one  place  to  another,  and  he  secures  all  the  pecuniary 
advantage  which  must  accrue  to  any  working  man  who  be- 
comes known  as  a steady,  industrious  and  permanent  resident 
of  any  one  locality. 

But  perhaps  his  greatest  gain  is  that  which  comes  sec- 
ondarily, in  the  moral  stimulus  which  he  and  his  family 
receive  from  living  in  a house  which  is  their  own  property, 
wherein  no  one  has  a right  but  themselves,  which  they  can 
improve  andbeautify  until  it  becomes  to  them,  as  their  home, 
the  pleasantest  and  most  attractive  spot  on  earth.  When  a 
man  and  woman  actually  own  the  house  which  is  their  home, 
they  find  themselves,  as  a rule,  quickly  filled  with  an  hon- 
orable ambition  to  make  house  and  garden  as  neat,  comfort- 
able and  pretty  as  possible.  They  take  pride  and  pleasure 
in  working  tor  the  improvement  of  that  which  is  their 
own,  and  receive  constant  gratification  from  results 
achieved  by  their  own  labor  and  thrift.  They  have  provid- 
ed for  themselves  a tangible  object  for  honest  ambition  ; they 


I 12 


ON  HABITS  AND  MANNERS. 


have  something  to  work  for  and  be  interested  in,  and  have 
thus  secured  a strong  safeguard  against  the  temptations  to 
idleness,  unsteadiness  and  extravagance,  which  so  constantly 
beset  humanity  and  are  so  frequent  a cause  of  ruin. 

Powerful  as  all  these  influences  are  upon  parents,  they 
are,  if  possible,  still  more  powerful  in  their  effects  upon  chil- 
dren, to  whom  the  importance  of  a home,  with  all  its  strong 
and  sweet  associations,  its  various  and  lasting  ties,  is  incal- 
culable. There  is  almost  necessarily  a certain  training,  a 
certain  formation  of  thought  and  habit  received  from  living 
in  a permanent,  orderly  and  peaceful  home,  which  nothing 
else  supplies,  and  this  in  itself  should  be  a sufficient  reason 
for  parents  to  do  their  utmost  to  become  possessors  of  that 
which  is  the  first  essential  of  a home,  namely,  a comfortable, 
suitable  house.  That  this  is  the  foundation  of  family  life  is 
indisputable,  and  no  one  who  looks  at  the  matter  fairly  can 
fail  to  be  convinced  that  the  wisest  thing  a working  man 
with  a family  can  do,  is  to  secure,  as  early  in  life  as  possible, 
a house,  which  will  not  only  be  his  home  as  long  as  he  lives, 
but  will  also  form  a provision  for  his  wife  and  children  in 
case  of  his  death. 

The  answer  to  the  first  question,  ^‘As  to  how  a working 
man  can  best  and  most  quickly  become  the  owner  of  a house, 
seems  to  be  very  simple,  and  if  we  can  trust  the  experience 
of  others,  is  very  satisfactory,  i.  e.  if  he  has  not  accumulated 


ON  HABITS  AND  MANNERS.  II3 

sufficient  money  of  his  own  for  the  purpose,  he  must  buy  and 
build,  either  alone  or  in  company  with  others,  with  money 
borrowed  at  a fair  rate  of  interest,  giving  as  security  a mort- 
gage upon  his  house,  and  paying  off  such  mortgage  as  ra[)idly 
as  possible.  In  no  way  can  a man  incur  smaller  risk,  and 
all  that  is  required  of  him,  as  essential  to  success,  is  average 
industry  and  econom}^,  so  that  no  able-bodied  man  who  is 
blessed  with  a helpful  wife,  need  fear  to  undertake  the  pur- 
chase, in  this  manner,  of  a liomestead,  which,  under  ordinary 
conditions,  is  certain  to  pay  him  heavy  interest  upon  the 
money  invested. 

When  a man  finds  himself  the  possessor  of  a piece  of 
land,  with  money  sufficient  to  put  up  a small  house,  i.  e. 
about  four  hundred  dollars,  our  second  question  at  once 
presents  itself:  ^‘How  can  such  a house  be  built  to  properly 
accommodate  a family  of  six  or  seven  members?’’  Now,  of 
course,  in  answering  this  question  there  are  many  things  to 
be  taken  into  consideration  and  more  ways  than  one  of 
reaching  the  desired  result.  In  the  first  place,  climate  must 
be  consulted,  and  as  the  majority  of  our  readers  live  where 
warm  weather  is  to  be  provided  for  rather  than  cold,  the 
suggestions  which  we  have  to  offer  will  be  especially  for  their 
benefit.  Location,  also,  must  affect  the  decision,  as,  of 
course,  houses  in  the  country  and  in  the  city  require  in 
many  respects  different  arrangement ; while  the  size  of  the 


114 


ON  HABITS  AND  MANNERS. 


family,  their  prospects  for  the  future,  and  last,  but  not  least, 
individual  taste,  must  each  and  all  have  their  weight  in 
influencing  the  plans  of  the  architect. 


CHAPTER  XVII. — House  and  Home— (Continued.) 

BUILDING. 

It  will  easily  be  understood  that,  where  tlie  conditions 
are  so  various,  it  is  impossible  to  lay  down  unvarying  rules 
for  the  building  of  a house,  and  I do  not  hesitate  to  confess 
that  the  most  I can  do  for  my  readers  is  to  otier  a tew  gen- 
eral principles,  and  some  personal  suggestions,  assuring 
them  at  the  outset  that  it  is  upon  their  own  intelligence 
and  experience  that  they  must  principally  depend.  There 
are  a few  points,  however,  wliicli  are  unalterable,  that  is, 
there  are  a few  principles  which  apply  to  house-building  all 
the  wmrld  over,  and  it  is  of  these  that  I would  first  speak, 
and  can  confidently  say  that  tlie}^  will  fully  repay  the  care- 
ful consideration  of  any  one  of  you  who  may  be  about  to 
build  a house.  To  begin  with,  however  small  a house  may 
be,  the  work  on  it  should  he  well  and  thoroughl}"  done  ; 
you  should  select  good,  well-seasoned  mateiial,  get  trust- 
worthy wmrkmen,  deprive  yourself,  if  necessary,  of  all  orna- 
mentation, but  permit  no  shams,  no  imitations,  and  be  sure 
that  from  top  to  bottom  your  house  is  honestly  built.  The 


ON  HABITS  AND  MANNERS.  I 15 

very  greatest  fault  in  the  ordinary  architecture  of  the  day  is 
its  flirnsiness  and  want  of  honesty,  and  for  this  no  amount  of 
stucco,  or  cheap  carving,  or  sham  ornament  of  any  kind,  can 
atone.  If  you  are  limited  as  to  the  amount  of  money  which 
you  can  put  into  the  house,  (which  I am  taking  for  granted 
to  be  the  case),  then  your  first  care  must  be  to  see  that  you 
get  something  real,  and  permanently  valuable,  in  return  for 
your  money.  Be  sure  that  your  tbundations  are  sound, 
your  walls  substantial,  your  roof  tight,  your  windows  and 
doors  well-fitting,  and  that  you  begin  with  one  thorough 
coat  of  paint,  outside  and  in  ; after  which,  if  you  liave  any 
money  left,  you  can  afford  to  take  a little  time  to  consider 
what  is  the  best  use  for  it. 

The  point  to  be  next  considered,  as  affecting  both  com- 
fort and  utility,  is  the  internal  division  and  arrangement  of 
the  house,  and  this  demands  some  thought,  for  the  arrange- 
ment of  the  rooms  of  a house  affords  a very  delicate  and 
valuable  test  of  the  amount  of  civilization  and  refinement 
possessed  by  its  inhabitants.  In  the  dwellings  of  the  very 
poor  and  ignorant  we  find  human  beings,  of  all  ages  and 
both  sexes,  crowded  together  in  one  room,  forming  a hot-bed 
from  which  springs  a frightful  crop  of  indecency,  immor- 
ality and  vice,  and  to  no  lower  depth  than  this  can  human 
beings  sink,  for  it  pre-supposes  the  absence  of  even  the 
instincts  of  modesty  and  decency.  Now  the  first  step  on 


Il6  ON  HABITS  AND  MANNERS. 

the  upward  road  is  the  separation  of  the  sexes,  then  the  pre- 
vention of  overcrowding,  finally  the  separation  of  individ- 
uals, and  the  setting  apart  of  certain  rooms  for  special  pur- 
poses, as  kitchen,  dining,  sitting,  sleeping  rooms,  etc. ; and 
this  is  what  we  reach  in  the  home,  and  it  is  the  approxima- 
tion to  this  which  should  be  attempted  even  in  the  smallest 
house  which  is  inhabited  by  men  and  women  claiming  to 
be  civilized.  “ Can  this  be  done,”  you  ask,  “ upon  small 
means,  and  in  cases  where  the  mistress  has  the  work  of  the 
family  to  do  single  handed  ?”  I believe  it  can,  and  further- 
more, I believe  that  you  will  find  the  attempt  to  do  it  in 
itself  civilizing  and  enlightening.  You  may  think  it  a 
trivial  matter,  but  I assure  you  that  the  mere  fact  that  you 
determine  not  to  eat  your  meals  in  the  kitchen  where  they 
are  cooked,  but  in  another  room  which  can  easily  be  kept 
free  from  the  disorder,  heat,  and  smell  attendant  upon 
cookery,  wherein  you  can  sit  down  to  a clean  and  properly 
arranged  table,  will  make  better  men  and  women  of  you, 
will  give  you  an  impetus  in  the  right  direction,  and  assist 
you  materially  in  your  efforts  to  rise  to  a higher  plane  of 
thought  and  life. 

Therefore,  in  building  your  house,  it  is  well  worth  your 
while  to  try  for  such  an  arrangement  of  it  as  shall  give  you 
two  or  three  separate  rooms  on  each  of  the  two  floors.  If 
your  means  do  not  permit  you  to  cover  a space  sufficiently 


ON  HABITS  AND  MANNERS.  II7 

large  to  be  divided  into  three  rooms,  you  must  be  content 
with  two  rooms  on  each  floor  in  the  body  of  the  house,  and 
a small  out-building  for  a kitchen,  which  would  give  you  a 
dining  and  sitting  room  down-stairs  and  two  bedrooms 
above.  For  a six  roomed  house  the  best  division  is  a 
kitchen,  dining  and  sitting  room  down-stairs  and  three 
bedrooms  above ; tor  an  eight-roomed  house,  kitchen, 
dining,  sitting  room  and  parlor,  or  one  bedroom  down- 
stairs and  four  bedrooms  above,  but  this  last  is  of  sufficient 
size  to  accommodate  a more  than  visually  large  ffimily,  and 
is  commonly  beyond  the  means  or  the  needs  of  a working- 
man. In  any  of  these  houses  a small  entrance  hall  opening 
from  the  front  door  is  desirable,  a back  door  is  indispen- 
sable, while  a piazza,  or  porch,  and  garret,  each  adds  greatly 
to  the  general  convenience  and  comfort.  The  minor  details 
must  of  course  depend  cliiefly  upon  the  wants  and  taste  of 
the  family:  but  the  points  which  I insist  upon  as  of  unva- 
rying importance,  are,  1st,  that  the  house  should  be 
properly  divided  ; 2d,  that  the  rooms  should  be  set  apart 
for  special  uses  ; 3d,  that  great  efforts  should  be  made  to 
prevent  over-crowding,  especially  in  the  sleeping  rooms. 
This  last  is  a matter  of  both  delicacy  and  hygiene,  and  it 
may  be  considered  certain  that  a room  of  ordinary  size 
should  never  be  inhabited  by  more  than  three  people,  while 
in  most  cases  it  is  desirable  that  the  number  should  be 


ii8 


ON  HABITS  AND  MANNERS. 


limited  to  two,  it  being  understood  that  ventilation  should 
always  be  most  carefully  attended  to.  I dwell  strongly 
upon  the  points  just  mentioned,  because,  as  I have  said 
before,  I believe  that  a properly  arranged  and  well  ordered 
house  is  an  important  educational  agent,  that  it  has  real 
and  great  power  to  civilize  and  elevate,  and  that  finally  its 
refining  influences  depend  more  than  is  commonly  supposed 
upon  these  particulars  of  internal  arrangement. 

In  regard  to  externals,  the  first  consideration  should  be 
the  drainage;  nothing  so  nearly  affects  the  health  of  the 
inhabitants  of  a house  as  the  local  drainage  and  the  quality 
and  quantity  of  the  water  supply.  In  city  houses  these 
matters  are  usually  under  the  control  of  the  officials,  the 
individual  having  no  direct  power  or  responsibility,  but  in 
most  country  neighborhoods  each  man  has  to  attend  per- 
sonally to  the  details  of  drainage,  etc.,  and  consequently  it 
is  every  man’s  duty  to  inform  himself  as  to  the  best  means 
of  obtaining  eflieient  l)Cal  drainage  and  a pure  water  supply. 
Where  tliere  is  any  general  system  of  drainage  for  a town 
or  village,  all  that  is  necessary  is  to  properly  connect  each 
newly  built  house  with  the  main  drain,  and  this  can  be 
done  by  means  of  a single  small  pit)e,  into  which  the  whole 
house-drainage,  from  water-closets,  sinks,  etc.,  must  paSvS, 
and  which  must  be  fitted  with  traps  and  properly  jointed. 
The  latest  experiments  prove  that  brick  sewers  are  almost 


ON  HABITS  AND  MANNERS.  I I9 

always  failures,  both  on  account  of  the  material  and  the 
size;  for  a sewer  should  never  be  of  more  than  sufficient 
capacity,  because,  as  we  already  know,  a current  of  water 
spread  over  a large  surface  flows  with  much  less  force  than 
when  it  is  confined  within  a smaller  space,  and  the  effect  of 
this  in  a sewer,  is  to  permit  the  deposit  of  all  heavy 
substances  which  may  have  entered  the  drain  and  which  lie 
there  choking  the  passage,  when  in  a sewer  of  smaller 
capacity  they  would  quickly  be  carried  down  by  the  force  of 
the  flow.  A smooth  two~inch  pipe  of  some  hard,  vitreous 
material,  which  cannot  absorb  sewer  filth,  will  carry  oflt  all 
the  drainage  from  an  ordinary  house,  is  the  best  possible 
sewer,  and  is  comparatively  inexpensive.  Where  there  is  no 
public  system  and  the  drainage  is  purely  local,  it  is  best  to 
raise  the  foundation  of  the  hou=^e  a little  above  the  general 
level  of  the  ground,  by  filling  in,  so  that  there  may  be  a 
natural  drainage  of  all  moisture  away  from  the  house,  while 
all  the  house  slops  should  be  disposed  of  in  ways  to  be 
presently  described.  If  pigs  or  cattle  of  any  kind  be  kept, 
their  pens  and  yards  should  be  as  far  as  possible  from  the 
house,. and  should  be  kept  clean  by  being  frequently  emptied 
of  the  manure  and  filth,  which  should  always  be  utilized  at 
once  upon  farm  or  garden.  The  water-closet  should  be,  if 
possible,  an  earth  closet,  as  earth  is  the  most  effectual  and 
cheapest  disinfectant  and  deodorizer  at  present  known  to 


1:20 


ON  HABITS  AND  MANNERS. 


science.  A cheap  and  cleanly  out-of-door  earth  closet  can 
he  made  by  simply  digging  a vault  in  the  ground  and  keep- 
ing in  the  building  above  it  (which  is  merely  an  ordinary 
privy)  a box  of  thoroughly  dry  earth  and  a scoop.  Each 
person  after  using  the  closet  should  be  required  to  empty 
into  it  a couple  of  scoopfuls  of  the  diy  earth,  and  as  often  as 
once  a month,  the  contents  of  the  vault  should  be  removed, 
and  used  at  once  as  manure,  for  they  are  almost  completely 
deodorized,  and  therefore  inoffensive,  which  makes  the 
frequent  cleaning  a comparatively  easy  matter.  Chamber 
slops  can  of  course  be  emptied  into  the  same  receptacle,  but 
it  is  much  better  to  dispose  of  them  in  some  other  way,  as 
they  largely  neutralize  the  effect  of  the  earth.  They  can  be 
emptied  into  pig-sty  or  cow-yard,  wheie  they  do  their  part 
in  making  fertilizing  material  (but  this  should  never  be 
done  except  when  the  yard  or  sty  is  cleaned  regularly  and 
frequently),  or  they  can  be  thrown  upon  the  ground  at  a safe 
distance  from  the  house  (this,  again,  should  never  be  done 
wdien  a house  stands  in  close  neighborhood  to  other  houses), 
or,  and  this,  probably,  is  the  best  way,  they  can  be  emptied 
into  a hole  dug  in  the  ground  as  tar  from  the  house  as 
possible,  and  boarded  ovei’,  the  cover  being  lifted  only  wdien 
the  slops  are  emptied.  By  emptying  occasionally  a little 
dry  earth  into  the  hole,  and  once  or  twice  a year  filling  it 
up  entiiely  and  digging  a fresli  hole,  the  slops  of  a large 


ON  HABITS  AND  MANNERS. 


I2J 

house  may  be  disposed  of  with  ease  and  safety.  Kitchen 
slops  and  swill  should  all  be  carefully  kept  for  pig  feed,  for 
if  the  family  do  not  keep  a pig,  some  neighbor  can  always 
he  found  who  will  take  away  swill  for  the  sake  of  having  it^ 
and  to  waste  such  material  is  one  of  the  common  forms  of 
extravagance  which  keeps  poor  people  poor  forever. 

After  the  drainage  of  a house  and  the  cleanliness  of  a 
yard  and  outhouses  have  been  carefullj^  firovided  for,  I 
believe  that  next  in  order  comes  the  question  of  the  water 
supply,  and  while  a few  of  you,  as  residents  of  large  cities, 
are  not  obliged  to  think  much  about  the  matter,  being  sup- 
plied by  the  city,  or  by  companies,  yet  I suppose  a majority 
of  my  readers  are  dependent  solely  upon  wells  or  springs, 
and  can  therefore  drink  pure  or  impure  waters  according  as 
they  themselves  are  intelligent  and  energetic  or  ignorant  and 
lazy.  It  is  not,  1 confess,  always  easy  for  an  uneducated 
person  to  detect  the  impurity  of  water,  because  while  pure 
water  is  always  clear  and  tasteless,  water  which  is  clear  and 
tasteless  is  not  always  pure ; but  there  are  a few  simple 
rules  which  he  who  runs  may  read,  and  which  will,  in 
most  cases,  afford  effectual  protection.  For  example,  it  is  ev- 
ident to  any  one  that  to  use  water  from  a river  below  a point 
where  the  refuse  of  a factory  or  the  drainage  of  a town 
empities  into  it,  must  be  harmful;  that,  again,  it  must  be 
equally  so  to  use  water  from  a stagnant  pond,  or  from  a 


12^2 


(3N  HABITS  AND  MANNERS 


brook  which  drains  marshy  land  rich  in  decomposing 
vegetation,  and  yet  it  is  hut^too  common  to  find  whole 
communities  using  such  water  and  dying  like  sheep  with 
dysenteries  and  fevers,  merely  because  they  are  too  thought- 
less or  too  lazy  to  make  the  effort  to  obtain  a pure  water 
supply. 

Water  should  never  be  taken  from  a river  or  brook 
which  is  contaminated  by  filth  of  any  kind,  and  this  danger 
can  easily  be  avoided,  for  there  are  few  localities  in  which  it 
is  not  possible  to  obtain  a plentiful  supply  of  wholesome 
water  from  wells  or  springs.  If  there  is  a good,  unfailing 
spring  wdthin  convenient  distance  of  a house,  water  should 
be  drawn  from  it  in  preference  to  any  other  source,  and 
sometimes  by  means  of  a few  yards  of  pipe,  spring  water 
can  be  brought  to  the  very  door  of  the  house^  which, 
although  it  costs  something  at  the  outset,  is  in  the  end  a 
real  economy.  But,  as  in  a large  majority  of  cases,  wells 
and  wells  only,  form  the  source  of  water  supply,  it  is  to 
them  that  your  attention  must  chiefly  be  directed,  and  in 
building  a house  I would  advise  you  to  make,  if  necessary, 
many  sacrifices,  in  order  to  secure  a well  of  good  water.  In 
the  first  place,  a well  should  never  be  dug  in  a place  where 
there  is  any  danger  of  its  receiving  the  drainage  from  house, 
water-closet,  barn-yard,  pig-sty,  or  any  similar  source  of 
contamination;  it  sliould  not  be  in  the  near  neighborhood 


ON  HABITS  AND  MANNERS. 


12J 


of  large  trees  whose  roots  are  likely  to  grow  into  the  water 
and  make  it  dirty  and  unwholesome;  it  should  be  so  cov- 
ered that  uot  even  leaves  can  fall  into  it,  and  should  occa- 
sionally, in  a dry  season,  he  thoroughly  cleaned.  There  is 
really  nothing  so  safe  and  certain  as  an  artesian  well,  which 
consists  of  an  iron  pipe  sunk  perpendicularly  into  the 
ground  until  its  lower  end  strikes  a supply  of  pure,  sweet 
water;  and  these  wells  are  coming  gradually  into  use,  their 
advantage  over  the  ordinary  wells  being  that  they  can 
be  sunk  to  any  distance  necessary  to  obtain  really  pure 
water,  and  that  tliey  are  beyond  the  possibility  of  contami- 
nation, either  from  drainage  or  any  other  source.  But  from 
common  wells,  wliich  are  at  present,  as  I have  already  said, 
by  far  the  most  frequent  source  of  supply,  the  precautions 
already  mentioned  will  u^uially  secure  water  sufficiently 
pure  not  to  affect  the  health  of  those  who  drink  it. 

Even  in  these  days  of  comparative  enlightenment  in 
regard  to  the  matter  of  drainage,  water,  etc.,  there  are  many 
people  who  cling  to  the  ignorance  which  for  the  moment  is 
so  easy,  regardless  of  the  fact  that  in  the  end  it  costs  them 
the  heavy  price  of  health  and  life.  They  say  that  they  are 
willing  to  take  their  chances  as  their  fathers  did,  and  it 
is  difficult  to  prove  to  them  that  they  are  morally  responsi- 
ble for  the  results  of  their  own  wilful  ignorance  and  care- 
lessness. 


124 


ON  HABITS  AND  MANNERS. 


It  is  true  that  it  is  only  by  close  and  intelligent  atten- 
tion and  constant  labor  that  the  immediate  neighborhood  of 
the  dwellings  of  human  beings  can  be  kept  clean  and  whole- 
some ; but  it  is  also  true,  to  quote  the  words  of  an  eminent 
authority,  that  all  filth  is  absolute  poison,”  and  undoubt- 
edly the  terrible  punishment  of  uncleanliness  is  the  weapon 
used  by  the  all-wise  Creator  to  force  his  ignorant  and  wilful 
creatures  into  the  cleanliness  which  involves  so  much  exer- 
tion of  mind  and  body.  Surely  I need  not  here  reiterate 
how  fatal  is  the  effect  of  all  filth  and  especially  of  human 
filth  ; surely  I need  not  tell  you  how  fever,  and  cholera,  and 
dyse)itery,  follow  uncleanliness  as  certainly  as  night  follows 
day,  and  that  therefore  it  lies  with  us  to  choose  whether  or 
no  we  take  the  risk  of  diseases  whose  prevention  lies  com- 
monly in  our  own  hands.  I could  fill  page  upon  page  of 
written  warning  in  respect  to  defective  drainage,  impure 
water,  filthy  water-closets  and  outhouses,  but  it  would  be 
all  useless  unless  your  own  intelligence  and  moral  sense 
came  to  the  rescue,  and  induced  you  to  act  resolutely  and  as 
rational  human  beings. 

Therefore  I can  only  beg  those  of  you  who  are  house- 
holders or  who  are  in  any  way  responsible  for  the  health  of 
others,  to  study  well  the  facts  in  regard  to  this  compre- 
hensive subject  of  cleanliness  in  its  relation  to  house  build- 
ing and  keeping,  and  to  judge  ft)r  yourselves  w’hether  it  is 
not  well  worth  while  to  build  and  keep  a cleanly  house. 


ON  HABITS  AND  MANNERS. 


^25 

CHAPTER  XVIII. — House  and  Home— (Continued.) 
woman’s  work. 

In  most  cases  the  buying  and  building  of  a house  is 
more  especially  a man’s  work,  and  it  is  the  husband  and 
father  ot  the  family  who  is  principally  responsible  for  the 
thought  and  labor  which  lay  the  foundation  of  the  Home. 
It  is  for  him  to  earn  the  money,  to  choose  a suitable  site,  to 
see  that  the  house  is  well  and  carefully  built,  properly 
divided,  ventilated,  drained,  etc. ; but  from  the  moment  that 
the  family  enters  the  house  as  a home,  the  responsibility  is 
shifted,  and  it  is  the  wife  and  mother  who  must  bear  the 
chief  burden  of  the  housekeeping  and  become  the  ruling 
spirit  of  the  home.  The  man,  as  tlie  bread-winner, 
finds  that  his  work  keeps  him  during  the  greater  part  of 
the  day  away  from  his  home  and  family,  and  consequently, 
the  duty  of  regulating  and  controlling  the  household  falls 
mainly  into  the  woman’s  hands,  and  any  conscientious 
woman  will  gladly  do  all  in  her  power  to  fit  herself  for  the 
due  performance  of  the  work  which  is  so  plainly  set  before 
her.  It  seems  as  if  it  could  hardly  be  necessary  to  press 
upon  women  of  any  intelligence,  the  importance  of  their 
position  as  wives  and  mothers,  and  yet  the  evidences  of 
carelessness  and  ignorance  which  constantly  force  themselves 
into  notice,  show  but  too  plainly  how  much  the  majority  of 


126 


ON  HABITS  AND  MANNERS. 


women  need  assistance  and  instruction  in  respect  to  the 
every  day  work  of  their  lives^  that  work  which  out  of  small 
things  rightly  done,  builds  up  so  beautiful  and  grand  a 
whole. 

In  endeavoring  to  give  in  a brief  sjiace  and  a familiar 
way,  advice  which  may  practically  help  and  teach  the 
women  into  whose  hands  these  papers  may  fall,  I find  that 
the  subject  of  family  life  divides  itself  naturally  into  several 
branches,  and  in  writing  of  them  I shall  give  precedence  to 
the  one  which  is  of  invariable  and  permanent  importance, 
viz:  the  care  of  children.  I put  tins  first,  because  the  first 
fifteen  or  sixteen  years  of  the  life  of  a man  or  woman  deter- 
mine largely  what  his  or  her  character  is  to  be,  and  it 
over  these  first  fifteen  or  sixteen  years  that  parents,  and 
especially  mothers,  have  almost  unlimited  control. 

The  physical  care  of  the  child  during  this  period  usu- 
ally devolves  entirely  upon  the  mother,  and  it  is  to  the 
ignorance  of  motliers  that  a large  proportion  of  the  deaths 
among  children  under  five  years  old  is  due.  Children  who 
are  born  healthy  can  easily  be  kept  so  by  obedience  to  a fe^v 
simple  laws,  and  even  delicate  children  will  often  become 
healthy  adults,  if  properly  cared  for  during  the  first  years  of 
life.  A baby  from  the  time  of  its  birth  until  it  is  twelve 
montlis  old  should  always,  if  possible,  be  nursed  by  its 
motlier,  for  in  this  way  only  can  it  obtain  food  which  is 


ON  HABITS  AND  MANNERS. 


127 


natural,  and,  therefore,  entirely  safe.  In  cases  where  this 
is  impossible,  cow’s  or  goat’s  milk  diluted  with  lime  water 
is  the  best  substitute ; and  after  a baby  is  seven  or  eight 
months  old,  simple  preparations  of  wheat  flour,  rice,  crack- 
ers, etc.,  may  be  used,  but  always  in  small  quantities  and 
with  great  care.  Indeed,  until  a baby  has  safely  passed  its 
flrst  year,  all  but  the  simplest  food  should  be  prohibited, 
but  after  that  age  it  is  well,  if  the  child  is  healthy,  to  begin 
with  a variety  of  light  food,  as  potatoes,  eggs,  broal  and 
butter,  meat  broths,  simple  preparations  of  the  various 
grains,  a little  fruit,  etc.,  gradually  increasing  the  variety 
and  quantity  of  the  food  given,  but  being  always  exceed- 
ingly careful  to  give  nothing  rich  or  indigestible,  and  to 
closely  watch  the  condition  of  the  stomach  and  bowels. 
During  all  the  years  cf  growth  a child’s  ibod  should  be 
nutritive  and  easily  digested,  and,  even  with  very  small 
means,  a careful  and  thoughtful  mother  can  provide  sucli 
food  for  her  family.  Fish,  meat,  vegetables  and  fruit, 
plainly  cooked,  that  is,  boiled,  broiled  or  roasted,  without 
much  grease  or  spice,  cold,  or  better  still,  stale  bread  of 
Graham  flour,  wheat  flour  or  corn  meal,  eggs,  milk,  sugar 
or  molasses  in  small  quantities,  hominy,  rice,  etc.,  can  each 
and  all  be  safely  eaten  by  children  over  three  years  of  age  : 
and  from  such  food,  given  always  at  regular  times  and  in 
proper  quantities,  nature  can  be  trusted  to  build  up  the 


128 


ON  HABITS  AND  MANNERS. 


healthy  bodies  which  are  so  essential  to  the  happiness  of 
human  beings.  That  meals  should  be  given  at  regular 
intervals,  and  that  nothing  should  be  eaten  between  them, 
is  ot  the  utmost  importance,  for  the  habit  of  permitting 
children  to  eat  candy,  nuts,  fruit,  etc.,  indiscriminately,  is  as 
harmful  as  it  unfortunately  is  common.  Simplicity  and 
regularity  are  essential  in  feeding  children,  and  the  mother 
who,  through  ignorance  or  carelessness,  disregards  these  two 
rules,  may  be  sure  that  her  innocent  children  will,  sooner  or 
later,  suSer  for  her  sin. 

Of  scarcely  less  importance  than  food  is  cleanliness,  and 
no  child  can  be  considered  really  clean  which  is  not  thor- 
oughly washed  every  day.  This  practice  of  daily  bathing 
should  date  from  the  child’s  birth,  lukewarm  water  being 
used  for  babies,  who  should,  as  soon  as  they  are  a month  or 
so  old,  be  put  into  a tub  or  large  basin  and  carefully  washed 
from  head  to  foot  with  a soft  sponge,  or  cloth,  and  soap ; 
the  best  time  for  the  bath  being  in  the  morning,  though  if 
more  convenient  to  the  mother,  ii  can  be  given  at  night. 
Children  who  are  properly  washed  in  this  way  will  be 
directly  benefited  as  to  their  general  health,  and  are  usually 
almost  entirely  exempt  from  certain  skin  diseases  which  are 
the  result  of  uncleanliness.  Care  should  always  be  taken  to 
thoroughly  dry  the  skin  on  all  parts  of  the  body  after 


ON  HABITS  AND  MANNERS 


129 


bathing:  baths  should  never  be  given  immediately  after 
eating,  and  for  children,  should  always  be  of  medium  temp- 
erature, neither  hot  nor  cold. 

In  addition  to  the  daily  bath,  the  cleanliness  of  children 
should  be  ensured  by  frequent  changes  of  underclothing,  and 
this  is  not  a difficult  thing  to  do,  because  the  under- 
garments of  little  children  are  so  easily  washed  and  cheaply- 
made.  that  almost  any  mother  can  provide  and  keep  clean  a 
sufficient  supply,  if  necessary.  In  clothing  young  children^ 
even  in  warm  climates,  thin  flannel  shirts  are  almost  indis- 
pensable, for  they  protect  the  chest,  stomach  and  bowels, 
and  prevent  much  of  the  danger  arising  from  sudden 
changes  of  temperature.  Beyond  this,  there  is  little  to  be 
said  in  respect  to  clothing,  except  that  the  garments  should 
all  be  loose  and  comfortable,  and,  so  far  as  possible,  adapted 
to  the  changing  seasons  ; for  a little  care  in  putting  on  and 
taking  ofl  extra  clothing  will  save  children  from  many  of 
the  colds,  and  ailments  resulting  from  colds,  from  which 
they  sufier.  The  substance  of  all  teaching  in  regard  to  the 
physical  care  of  children  is  simply  that  if  parents  can  ensure 
to  their  children  wholesome  food,  comfortable  clothing,  and 
cleanliness,  they  need  have  little  fear  about  their  physical 
condition  ; for  though  the  food  may  be  very  plain,  their 
clothing  coarse,  and  the  cleanliness  not  always  apparent  to 
the  eye,  yet  such  is  the  power  of  the  natural  laws  that 


130  ON  HABITS  AND  MANNERS. 

obedience  to  tliein  in  the  above  particulars  is  sure  to 
develop  children,  born  without  inherited  weakness,  into 
strong  men  and  women.  Of  the  other  essentials  to  the 
physical  health  of  children,  viz.,  plenty  of  fresh  air  and  out- 
of-door  exercise,  I need  hardly  speak,  for,  as  a general  thing, 
the  children  in  whose  interest  I am  now  writing,  enjoy  to 
the  full  these  two  privileges,  and  are  therein  greatly,  though 
perhaps  unconsciously,  blessed. 

If  the  physical  development  of  children  is  largely 
dependent  upon  parents,  the  same  is  true  of  their  intel- 
lectual and  moral  growth.;  for  the  first  of  these,  parents 
being  indirectly,  and  for  the  second  directly,  responsible. 
The  duty  of  parents  in  regard  to  what  is  commonly  called 
the  education  of  their  children  is  usually  plain  enough,  for 
though  they  are  frequently  unable  to  give  instruction  them- 
selves, they  can  almost  always  succeed  in  securing  the 
regular  attendance  of  their  children  at  good  schools,  and  in 
providing  for  them  certain  advantages  at  home.  While  a 
mother  is  often  too  busy  to  teach  her  children  even  so  much 
as  the  alphabet,  she  can  always  see  that  they  are  properly 
prepared  for  school,  that  they  are  punctual  in  attendance, 
suitably  clad,  that  their  books  are  kept  in  order  and  their 
lessons  learned,  in  short,  can  make  their  road  to  learning  an 
open  way,  and  greatly  simplify  the  work  of  those  who 
actually  teach  them.  In  the  home  life,  too,  the  father  and 


ON  HABITS  AND  MANNERS  I31 

mother  can  provide  many  advantages  for  children,  at  com- 
paratively small  expense,  and  it  is  the  presence  or  absence  of 
these  which  make  the  atmosphere  of  home  healthful  and 
elevating,  or  the  reverse.  To  have  a few  pictures,  prints  or 
chromos,  well  chosen  and  neatly  framed,  to  take  a good 
paper  or  magazine,  to  buy  a few  good  books,  to  take 
children  now  and  then  to  hear  a lecture  or  to  some  similar 
entertainment,  are  all  of  direct  assistance  in  the  mental 
education  of  the  young,  and  are  no  great  tax  upon  the 
means  or  energies  of  the  parents.  In  most  cases,  the  best 
thing  which  you  can  do  for  your  children  is  to  give  them 
the  opportunity  and  excite  in  them  tjie  desire  to  obtain  a 
thorough  education,  and  thus  to  make  up  to  them,  so  far  as 
possible, for  the  disadvantage  which  your  own  lack  of  educa- 
tion must  be  to  them. 

As  you  probably  know  only  too  well,  the  time  for 
receiving  the  education  which  books  give  is  in  most  cases 
past  for  yourselves,  and  feeling,  as  you  must,  what  the  lack 
of  it  is  constantly  costing  you,  you  should  be  all  the  more 
willing  to  make  every  effort  to  secure  it  for  your  children. 
Your  duty  is  plain  enough,  so  plain,  indeed,  that  but  the 
briefest  statement  of  it  should  be  necessary : Send  your 
children  to  the  best  school  within  your  reach,  and  send 
them  properly  prepared;  provide  for  them  at  home,  so  far 
as  your  means  will  allow,  everything  which  will  teach 


132 


ON  HABITS  AND  MANNERS. 


them  or  help  them  to  learn,  and  by  your  own  conversation 
and  behavior  show  them  how  important  you  consider  the 
work  of  education,  remembering  that  the  responsibility  of 
your  children’s  ignorance  is  rather  yours  than  theirs. 

Inseparable  from  this  intellectual  training  of  your 
children  is  the  development  of  their  moral  nature,  and  it  is 
in  directing  them  in  respect  to  the  great  choice  between 
good  and  evil,  that  your  chief  work,  as  Christians  and  as 
parents,  most  certainly  lies.  It  may  not  always  be  possible 
for  you  to  give  them  all  that  their  physical  welfare  de- 
mands, your  own  ignorance  may  not  improbably  stand  in 
the  way  of  their  ^obtaining  the  intellectual  advantages 
which  their  growing  minds  require;  but  it  is  only  your 
own  sin  and  folly  that  need  prevent  you  from  bringing  up 
your  children  to  be  virtuous  men  and  women.  It  is  from 
you  that  they  must  learn  the  beauty  of  goodness  and  the 
hatefulness  of  sin,  and  it  is  your  teaching  during  the  years 
when  your  influence  is  superior  to  every  other,  that  will 
influence  them  all  their  lives  through.  It  is  no  light  thing 
to  teach  a child  to  be  honest,  truthful,  pure,  patient,  indus- 
trious, careful ; but  perhaps  the  most  difficult  part  of  the 
work  lies  in  the  preparation  for  it ; that  is,  in  making 
yourselves  what  you  wish  your  children  to  be.  As  you 
cannot  teach  children  that  which  you  do  not  yourselves 
know,  so,  al80,*you  will  find  it  impossible  to  make  them 


ON  HABITS  AND  MANNERS. 


133 


that  which  you,  yourselves,  are  not,  and  the  virtues  which  you 
desire  for  your  children  you  must  first  practice,  or  all  your 
endeavors  will  go  for  nothing.  I shall  reserve  for  another 
chapter  that  which  I want  to^say  to  you  in  [regard  to  the 
moral  training  of  your  children,  asking  you,  however, to 
think  a little  in  the  meantime  for  yourselves  about  this 
important  subject. 


CHAPTER  XIX* 


MORAL  TRAINING-  OF  CHILDREN. 

The  moral  training  of  children  ought,  and  if  it  is  to  be 
successful,  must,  begin  with  the  earliest  development  of 
their  intellectual  faculties.  As  soon  as  they  are  conscious 
of  their  own  will,  they  should  also  become  conscious  of  the 
existence  of  other  and  stronger  wills  ; and  the  parents 
should  endeavor  so  to  regulate  their  conduct  toward  their 
children,  as  to  make  them,  as  early  in  life  as  possible,  recog- 
nize the  fact  that  the  wills,  which  of  necessity  are  so 
frequently  opposed  to  theirs,  are  not  only  strong  but  wise. 
That  is,  you  should  be  so  careful,  so  judicious  and  so  unself- 
ish, in  governing  your  children  that  they  may  quickly  learn 
to  trust  you,  and  to  feel,  even  in  moments  of  anger  and 
impatience,  that  you  are  their  best  friend.  Most  of  you,  I 
think,  must  have  formed  in  your  own  minds  some  idea  of 


^34 


ON  HABITS  AND  MANNERS. 


what  you  would  like  your  children  to  be,  and  it  is  a good 
thing  to  keep  constantly  before  yourselves  the  standard 
to  which  your  children  are  to  attain,  either  abstractly^ 
or  in  the  person  of  some  individual  whose  character  you 
admire.  If  you  love  your  children  with  the  ordinary  love 
of  humanity,  one  of  your  deepest,  if  not  your  deepest  inter- 
est in  life,  will  lie  in  watching  and  guiding  their  develop- 
ment, and  in  preparing  them,  as  far  as  you  can,  for  the 
future;  and  I hope  I am  right  in  believing  that  among  the 
parents  who  read  this,  there  is  not  one  who  is  not  honestly 
desirous  of  seeing  his  children  grow  up  to  be  good  men  and 
women.  Taking  for  granted,  then,  that  you  have  a full 
sense  of  your  own  responsibility,  and  are  keenly  alive  to 
the  sacredness  of  the  burden  which  the  Almighty  IB^ather 
lays  upon  every  parent,  I shall  try  to  condense  for  your  use 
some  of  the  experience  ot  those  who  have  made  the  educa- 
tion of  children,  in  the  family  and  in  the  school,  the  study 
of  their  lives. 

I have  already  said  that,  in  order  to  train  children 
properly,  you  must,  first  of  all,  have  their  confidence,  and 
you  will  naturally  ask  how  the  confidence  of  these  little 
thoughtless,  unreasoning  beings  is  to  be  won.  In  reply^ 
I should  say,  in  brief,  by  letting  them  see  that  what  you 
demand  of  them  you  yourselves  fulfil;  that  is,  when 
you  ask  them  to  be  trutliful,  be  sure  that  their  quick  ears 


ON  HABITS  AND  MANNERS. 


135 


do  not  find  you  out  in  falsehood  ; when  you  tell  them  of 
the  danger  and  sinfulness  of  anger,  jealousy  and  hatred,  do 
not  let  them  see  in  you  daily  proof  of  uncontrolled  passions  ; 
when  you  command  them  to  be  honest,  temperate  and 
industrious,  do  not  let  them  find  that  in  your  own  life  you 
cling  to  deceit,  self-indulgence  and  laziness.  Practice 
what  you  preach,’’  is  a homely  text,  which  has  served 
for  many  a sermon,  but  can  never  be  more  forcibly  applied 
than  in  regard  to  the  relations  between  parents  and 
children ; for  in  all  tbe  world  you  will  not  find  more  severe 
or  acute  critics  than  those  little  ones,  whose  sharp  eyes  and 
ears  are  constantly  measuring  your  life  by  the  rules  which 
you  give  to  them.  You  must  show  your  children  by  your 
daily  life  that  you  have  real  anl  practical  faith  in  the 
virtues  of  whose  value  and  beauty  you  talk  to  them,  and 
although  you  may  frequently  fail  to  reach  the  standard 
which  you  have  set  up,  yet  if  you  endeavor  to  be  honest, 
your  children,  aye,  even  your  liiile  children,  will  quickly 
and  surely  receive  impressions  from  your  character  which 
will  be  deep  and  permanent  for  good.  Take,  as  an  example 
of  this,  the  exhibitions  of  fretfulness  and  ill-temper  which 
are  unfortunately  not  uncommon  in  family  life,  and  to 
which  children  in  their  intercourse  with  each  other  are 
especially  liable.  You  want  to  teach  your  children  to  be 
patient,  gentle,  kindly  in  deed  and  word,  and  these  are 


136  ON  HABITS  AND  MANNERS. 

things  which  you  cannot  enforce  by  mere  authority ; you 
must,  in  your  own  person,  show  them  how  much  good  temper 
has  to  do  with  the  happiness  of  life;  you  must  be  gentle 
and  kind  to  them,  and  then  must  demand /rom  them  gentle- 
ness and  kindness  in  return.  Example,  in  short,  is  of  the 
first  importance  in  the  education  of  children,  for  they 
instinctively  admire  and  desire  to  imitate  those  older  than 
themselves  with  whom  they  associate,  and  are  directly  and 
strongly  influenced  by  what  they  see  and  hear  in  their  every 
day  life. 

But  example,  important  as  it  is,  will  not  alone  do  the 
work  ; love  and  authority  must  go  hand  in  hand  as  its  assist- 
ants, and  it  is  to  combine  these  wisely  that  is  the  second 
great  difficulty  in  the  path  of  parents.  To  love  your  children 
warmly,  and  yet  not  to  injure  them  by  over-indulgence,  to 
^xact  obedience  without  undue  severity,  to  be  firm  and 
unyielding  and  yet  not  unkind,  to  be  tender  and  forgiving 
and  yet  not  weak,  is  b}^  no  means  an  easy  task,  and  it  is 
just  this  that  a conscientious  parent  must  strive  to  be.  If 
you  have  won  your  children’s  confidence  by  showing  them 
that  you  are  what  you  desire  them  to  be,  that  your  practice 
and  your  precept  are  the  same,  then  the  next  great  requisite 
in  your  government  of  them  is,  probably,  absolute  truthful- 
ness, for  any  attempt  at  deceit  at  once  destroys  their  confi- 
dence in  you,  and  will,  sooner  or  later,  make  your  authority 


ON  HABITS  AND  MANNERS. 


137 


null  and  void.  By  absolute  truthfulness  I mean  that  you 
should  never  tell  a child  a falsehood  even  about  trifles,  that 
you  should  never  break  a promise  to  a child  if  it  is  possible 
to  keep  it,  that  you  should  do  your  best  to  let  your  children 
find  you  neither  changeable  nor  inconsistent.  For  example, 
if  you  have  to  give  medicine  to  a child,  do  not  attempt  to 
gain  your  point  by  saying  that  the  medicine  is  ^^good,^’ 
when  it  is  really  disagreeable,  for  you  will  rarely  be  able  to 
deceive  a child  in  that  way  more  than  once,  and  the  result 
will  be  that  you  will  be  distrusted  and  disbelieved.  Tell 
the  child  plainly  that  the  medicine  is  not  pleasant  to  take, 
but  must  be  taken,  and  obtain  obedience  by  gentle  reason- 
ing, or,  if  necessary,  by  absolute  authority.  The  same  course 
should  be  pursued  in  all  similar  cases,  that  ms,  when  you  de- 
sire them  to  do  anything  which  is  disagreeable  do  not  rely  up- 
on deceit,  for  you  will  find  it  a broken  reed;  but  tell  the  exact 
truth,  and  with  all  possible  kindness  insist  upon  obedience. 
You  will  find  that  after  rwo  or  three  experiences  of  this 
kind  the  child’s  confidence  in  you  will  be  implicit,  aud  that, 
furthermore,  he  will  have  learned  that  when  you  seriously 
demand  his  obedience,  his  easiest  course  is  to  give  it  as 
quickly  and  as  willingly  as  possible.  And  this  brings  up 
another  point,  viz : the  folly  of  entering  into  unnecessary 
conflicts  with  your  children,  of  fretting  them  needlessly, 
and  irritating  them  about  things  which  are  not  essential. 


138  ON  HABITS  AND  MANNERS. 

There  are  numberless  small  difficulties  into  which  children 
are  constantly  falling  which  are  really  of  very  little  im- 
portance, that  is,  are  not  matters  of  right  and  wrong,  and 
do  not  in  any  way  affect  a child’s  moral  nature,  and  of  these 
it  is  far  better  for  parents  to  take  no  notice.  Do  not  tease 
your  children  about  little  things,  for  this  tends  to  make 
them  fretful  and  unhappy  ; but,  on  the  contrary,  give  them 
all  the  liberty  possible,  guarding  yourself  against  using  your 
authority  so  frequently  as  to  make  it  dreaded  or  despised. 
When,  however,  you  do  give  an  order  or  demand  obedience 
in  any  form^  be  sure  that  there  is  no  evasion  ; let  your  child- 
ren understand  that  when  you  speak,  your  decision  is  final, 
your  authority  supreme,  and,  above  all,  when  any  conflict 
arises  between  yoh  and  your  child,  do  not  at  any  cost  permit 
the  child’s  will  to  conquer  yours.  Firmness  is  absolutely 
essential  in  the  moral  government  of  children,  and  you  can 
make  no  greater  mistake  than  to  give  way  to  a child  when 
once  an  issue  has  been  raised  between  you.  If  you  have 
deliberately  given  a child  an  order  of  any  kind,  have  required 
any  particular  course  of  action,  or  ordained  any  punishment, 
then  no  matter  how  much  time,  strength  and  patience  it  may 
cost  you,  you  must  make  good  your  words,  and  prove  to  the 
child  that  your  will  and  power  are  stronger  than  his.  If 
your  child  finds  out  that  he  can  coax  or  weary  or  frighten 
you  into  revoking  an  order,  or  remitting  a punishment. 


ON  HABITS  AND  MANNERS. 


139 


your  positions  will  be  speedily  changed,  and  bis,  not  yours^ 
will  be  the  ruling  will.  Therefore,  do  not  give  too  many 
orders,  or  inflict  too  many  punishments  ; but  when  you  do 
decide  that  either  the  one  or  the  other  is  necessary,  then  let 
nothing  shake  your  determination  or  alter  your  action. 
You  will  find  that  such  a course  will  not  only  be  better  for 
your  children,  but  will  also  save  you  infinite  trouble,  for  it 
will  put  an  end  to  that  constant  teazing  and  bickering  be- 
tween parents  and  children,  which  so  often  mar  the  happi- 
ness of  family  life  and  induce  on  both  sides  irritability  of 
temper.  Children  soon  find  the  difference  between  a person 
who  is  constantly  finding  fault  without  reason,  giving  orders 
which  can  be  disobeyed  with  impunity,  and  ordaining  pun- 
ishments which  are  never  inflicted,  and  a person  who  reproves 
seldom  but  earnestly,  whose  orders  are  absolute,  whose  pun- 
ishments are  not  frequent,  but  serious,  and  not  to  be  escaped. 
Under  the  first  of  these  two  systems,  children  will  be  care- 
less, impertinent,  and  self-willed;  under  the  second,  almost 
any  child  will  become  orderly  and  obedient,  and  it  is  for 
parents  to  decide  which  shall  reign  within  their  own  family 
circle. 

The  question  of  rewards  and  punishments  is  one  which, 
as  a matter  of  course,  occupies  much  of  the  attention  of  every 
one  who  is  brought  into  close  relations  with  children,  and  it 
is  certainly  by  no  means  a simple  matter.  To  discourage 


140 


ON  HABITS  AND  MANNERS. 


children  in  wrong-doing,  and  to  encourage  them  in  doing 
right,  is  practically  the  first  object  of  moral  education,  and 
some  system  of  punishment  and  reward  is  undoubtedly  in- 
dispensable, especially  with  young  children,  who  can  under- 
stand nothing  which  does  not  directly  appeal  to  their  senses. 
As  a general  thing,  however,  rewards  should  not  be  offered 
to  a child  as  an  inducement  to  right-doing,  but  should  be 
given  after  the  act  is  performed,  and  then  only  when  the 
child  is  really  deserving,  for  constant  rewards  are  to  the 
moral  nature  what  too  much  sugar  is  to  the  digestion,  pro- 
ducing in  both  cases  unwholesome  and  morbid  conditions. 
You  can  teach  children  to  feel  that  your  approbation  is  their 
best  reward,  and  that  their  goodness  is  your  and  their  hap- 
piness, without  creating  in  them  a habit  of  expecting  habit- 
ually a recompense  for  good  behavior,  and  in  this  way  you 
can  gradually  lead  them  to  understand  that  it  is  their 
motives  which  you  value  rather  than  their  actions ; that  you 
look  deeper  than  the  external  conduct ; into  the  spirit  which 
prompts  it. 

As  to  the  punishment  of  children,  the  best  authorities 
upon  the  subject  of  education  are,  in  the  main,  agreed  ; but 
even  yet  there  is  much  left  to  the  ingenuity  and  patience  of 
parents.  Corporal  punishment,  either  in  schools  or  in  the 
family,  has  no  part  in  the  best  modern  systems  of  education > 
and  there  are  verj  few  teachers  or  parents  who  should  permit 


ON  HABITS  AND  MANNERS.  I41 

themselves  to  use  it.  It  is  commonly  a wrong  to  the  child^ 
and  is  almost  always  inflicted  in  a spirit  of  anger,  which 
alone  would  eflectually  prevent  it  from  having  any  good 
efiect.  In  these  days  it  is  usually  very  ignorant,  very  care- 
less, or  very  cruel  people  who  depend  upon  corporal  punish- 
ment to  assist  them  in  governing  their  children,  and  any 
thousfhtful  and  moderately  patient  person  ought  to  be  able 
to  find  many  expedients  which  are  far  more  useful  and 
reasonable,  and  which  will  win  from  children  obedience 
through  respect  instead  of  through  mere  physical  fear.  If 
children  were  simply  and  wholly  animal  in  their  nature, 
then  we  might  consider  blows  a suitable  form  of  punishment, 
(though  even  animals,  as  modern  experience  has  proven,  get 
far  too  much  of  this  crude  and  barbarous  discipline),  but  as 
they  have  another  and  a higher  nature,  it  is  only  logical  that 
the  highest  and  most  successful  system  of  education  should 
appeal  to  that  rather  than  to  the  merely  brutal  instincts.  I 
dare  say  that  most  of  you  feel  that  you  would  be  almost  help- 
less if  the  power  of  whipping  your  children  were  to  be  taken 
away  from  you,  and  are  quite  sure  in  your  own  minds  that 
nothing  can  take  the  place  with  a child  of  what  is  popularly 
called,  ^^a  good  whipping’^;  but  in  this,  as  in  other  things, 
your  safest  course  is  to  accept  the  facts  established  by  those 
who  are  wiser  and  more  experienced  than  you  are.  If  reason 
and  affection  both  fail,  say  the  wisest  modern  teachers,  there 


142 


ON  HABITS  AND  MANNERS. 


still  remain  a variety  of  punishments,  which  will  affect  child- 
ren without  injuring  them  or  making  them  feel  that  they  are 
treated  with  injustice.  You  can  deprive  children  of  some 
pleasure,  take  their  lib  rtj^  away  from  them  for  a shorter  or 
longer  time,  by  shutting  them  up,  or  confining  them  within 
certain  limits  ; you  can  in  various  ways  treat  them  dififerently 
from  the  other  children  of  the  family  , you  can  take  away 
from  them  some  article  of  food  of  which  they  are  fond  ; in 
short,  a little  thought  will  show  you  that  there  are  number- 
less ways  of  inflicting  real  punishment  upon  children  without 
striking  a blow.  In  selecting  from  these  it  is  well,  so  far  as 
possible,  to  suit  the  punishment  to  the  oflfence  ; for  example, 
if  a child  does  harm  or  mischief  with  its  hands,  as  by  striking 
another  child,  wilfully  breaking  or  tearing  anything,  punish 
it  by  securely  tying  the  offending  members,  or,  again,  if  a 
child  errs  by  saying  anything  wronger  untruthful,  punish 
it  by  keeping  it  alone,  where  no  one  can  be  hurt  or  annoyed 
by  what  it  may  say.  But,  whatever  your  punishment  may 
be,  never  inflict  it  when  you  yourself  are  angry ; wait  always 
until  your  passion  is  cooled  and  you  can  use  your  sober  judg- 
ment, for  this  is  the  chief  safeguard  both  for  yourself  and  the 
child,  and  one  without  which  you  will  be  almost  certain  to 
do  the  child  injustice. 

Example,  love,  truthfulness,  firmness,  each  and  all  are 
necessary  if  you  would  rightly  train  your  children ; and  to 


ON  HABITS  AND  MANNERS. 


143 


go  back  to  the  beginning,  to  take  up  once  more  our  text, 
your  precept  and  your  practice  must  be  one  and  the  same. 
The  Christian  grace  which  you  strive  to  nurture  in  the  hearts 
of  your  children,  you  must  first  firmly  plant  in  your  own 
hearts,  looking  then  in  humble  faith  toward  the  Supreme 
Source  of  all  fruition,  for  ‘^Paiil  planteth,  Apollos  watereth, 
but  God  giveth  the  increase.’’ 


CHAPTER  XX. 

HOUSEWORK. 

Next  in  importance  to  the  direct  care  of  the  children, 
comes,  for  a woman  who  is  at  the  head  of  a household,  that 
general  personal  supervision  and  labor  which,  when  intel- 
ligently done,  result  in  cleanliness,  order  and  comfort  for 
the  whole  family.  Of  course,  it  is  much  easier  to  write  and 
talk  about  this  kind  of  work  than  it  is  to  do  it ; but,  never- 
the-less,  it  is  a constant  surprise  to  me  to  find  how  much  can 
be  accomplished  through  determination  and  system,  by 
women  who  have  much  to  do,  and  little  to  do  with.  These 
two  things,  determination  and  system,  which  lie  at  the 
foundation  of  all  good  housekeeping,  mean  simply  that  you 
must  always  do  your  work  at  stated  times  and  in  certain 
places.  To  take,  for  example,  a very  simple  but  constantly 
recurring  duty,  L 6.,  dish  washing;  are  there  not  two  wide- 


144 


ON  HABITS  AND  MANNERS. 


] y different  ways  of  doing  it  ? One  woman  will  leave  her 
table  standing  for  two  or  three  hours,  and  then,  throwing 
her  dishes  all  together,  and  unscraped,  into  a dirty  pan, 
will  go  for  hot  water,  which,  as  she  has  forgotten  to  fill  the 
pot,  is  not  to  be  had,  and  at  the  same  time  will  find  that 
there  is  no  soap  in  the  house,  that  her  dish-cloth  is  lost  and 
her  towel  wet.  Another  woman  will  clear  her  table  as  soon 
as  the  meal  is  over,  will  put  her  dishes,  carefully  scraped 
from  all  grease,  broken  bits,  etc.,  into  a pan,  which  is  used 
for  nothing  else,  will  wash  first  her  silver  and  glass,  tlien 
her  china,  and  last  of  all  her  cooking  utensils,  will  have 
plenty  of  boiling  water  and  soap,  a clean  dishcloth  and  a 
dry  towel.  And  of  these  two  women  you  may  be  sure  that 
the  first  will  be  always  in  confusion  and  disorder,  while  the 
second,  you  may  be  equally  sure,  is  the  mistress  of  a neat 
and  well-ordered  household. 

This  comparison  may  be  carried  through  the  whole 
field  of  household  work,  and  the  advantage  will  always  be 
found  on  the  side  of  the  woman  who  systematizes  her  work  ^ 
who  does  it,  that  is,  in  a regular  and  orderly  way,  who  has 
a time  and  a place  for  everything.  The  details  of  the  life  of 
an  ordinary  housekeeper,  who  does  most  of  her  work  herself, 
are  far  too  numerous  and  varied  to  be  set  down  upon  paper ; 
but  the  most  important  of  them  are  usually  much  the  same 
from  day  to  day  and  in  all  families,  and  I think  that 


ON  HABITS  AND  MANNERS.  I45 

perhaps  our  best  way  to  get  a clear  idea  of  what  system  and 
industry  can  accomplish  will  be  to  follow,  in  imagination,  a 
goo  l housekeeper  through  the  work  of  one  day,  from  the 
rising  to  the  setting  of  the  sun.  We  will  give  her  a house 
of  her  own,  with  kitchen,  eating-room  and  sitting-room 
downstairs,  and  three  bedrooms  upstairs,  her  family  shall 
consist  of  a husband,  who  is  a day  laborer,  and  three 
children,  two  of  whom  are  old  enough  to  go  to  school. 

As  soon  as  she  herself  is  dressed  in  the  morning,  she 
gives  the  children  such  help  as  they  require  in  washing  and 
dressing,  making  sure  that  they  begin  the  day  with  clean 
skins,  if  nothing  more,  and  then,  after  thoroughly  shaking 
up  the  beds  and  opening  the  windows,  she  goes  d )wn  stairs 
to  get  breakfast,  her  husband  having,  in  the  meantime^ 
made  the  fire.  However  simple  the  breakfast  may  be,  if  it 
should  consist  only  of  coffee  and  cornbread,  it  should  be 
neatly  served  in  the  eating-room,  on  a clean  tablecloth  and 
from  clean  dishes.  To  this  meal,  and  all  others,  the  family 
should  sit  down  promptly  and  together  ; their  food  should 
be  eaten  in  a clean  and  orderly  way,  and,  if  possible,  should 
not  be  eaten  in  the  same  room  in  which  the  cooking,  wash- 
ing, etc.,  are  going  on.  I have  already  drawn  your 
attention  to  the  fact  that  a careless,  disorderly  habit  in 
respect  to  serving  and  eating  food  should  be  careful- 
ly avoided,  not  only  because  it  indicates  ignorant  and 


ON  HABITS  AND  MANNERS. 


146 

coarse  tastes,  but  also  because  it  is  injurious  to  health,  and  I 
would  once  more  lay  down,  as  a cardinal  principle  of  good 
housekeeping,  that  the  eating-room  should  not  be  used  as  a 
cooking  or  sleeping-room,  that  the  table  should  be  neatly 
set  with  a clean  cloth,  clean  china,  glass,  etc.,  and  that  the 
food  should  be  served  and  eaten  in  a neat  and  orderly  way. 
You  will  find  that  there  is  no  one  thing  which  will  more 
afiect  the  comfort  of  your  family  than  that  the  meals  should 
be  prepared  and  eaten  with  regularity  and  order,  and 
though  those  of  you  who  have  never  made  the  attempt  may 
feel  that  it  is  not  worth  the  trouble  you  think  it  will  cost 
you,  you  will  find,  if  y'ou  will  but  make  an  honest  trial, 
that  the  trouble  is  nothing  in  comparison  with  the  increase 
of  comfort  and  the  satisfaction  of  feeling  that  you  are  edu- 
cating your  children  in  some  very  important  particulars, 

But  to  return  to  our  diligent  housekeeper ; by  this  time 
she  has,  I think,  finished  her  breakfast,  cleared  her  table 
and  washed  her  dishes  in  the  way  I have  already  described. 
This  accomplished,  she  will  put  away  the  articles  used,  in 
their  proper  places  on  the  cupboard  shelves,  in  drawers,  etc., 
will  sweep  and  dust  the  room  and  then  go  upstairs  to  the 
bedrooms,  which  she  will  proceed  to  put  in  order  for  the 
day.  And  here  I must  say  a word  about  the  care  of  the 
beds  and  bedsteads,  a duty’  the  neglect  of  which  never  fails 
to  produce  most  unpleasant  results.  If  there  is  one  thing  in 


ON  HABITS  AND  MANNERS. 


147 


your  house  about  the  cleanliness  of  which  you  should  be  abso- 
lutely sure,  it  is  the  beds,  and  the  only  way  to  obtain  such 
certainty  is  by  constant  care.  The  beds  should  be  thor- 
oughly shaken  up  every  morning  as  soon  as  the  occupants 
are  out  of  them ; and  by  this  I mean  that  you  should  not 
only  take  off  the  coverlids,  blankets,  sheets,  pillows,  etc., 
and  spread  them  out  upon  chairs  in  such  a way  that  the  air 
may  have  tree  circulation  about  them,  but  that  you  should 
also  take  off  or  throw  back  the  bed  or  mattress  itself,  so 
that  the  framework  of  the  bedstead  will  be  exposed  to  the 
air  and  light.  You  should  let  the  beds  and  bedclothes  lie  in 
this  way  for  at  least  an  hour  every  morning,  and  in  addition 
to  this,  you  should,  as  often  as  once  a month,  remove  every- 
thing from  the  bedstead  and  wipe  it  oft'  carefully  with  hot 
soapsuds,  and  then  turpentine,  going  thoroughly  into  all  the 
cracks  where  insects  are  likely  to  secrete  themselves.  If 
you  follow  this  course  habitually,  you  will  have  little  to  fear 
from  the  bugs,  whose  presence  is  a disgrace  to  any  house- 
keeper, and  your  beds  will  be  always  sweet  and  fresh,  a rest 

and  comfort  to  those  who  lie  down  upon  them. 

Having  thus  shaken  up  her  beds  before  breakfast  (and 
before  I leave  the  subject,  I want  to  recommend  you  to  use 
hard  beds  rather  than  soft,  mattresses  in  preference  to 
feather  beds),  our  housekeeper  finds  them  well  aired  on  her 
return,  and  proceeds  at  once  to  make  them  up,  spreading 


148  ON  HABITS  AND  MANNERS. 

the  sheets,  etc.,  so  carefully  that  the  bed  when  finished  is 
really  an  ornament  to  the  room  and  a temptation  to  tired 
limbs.  Then  she  empties  the  slops,  thoroughly  washing 
the  basins,  pitchers,  etc.,  and  refilling  the  pitchers  with 
fresh  water,  dusts  and  arranges  the  furniture  and  leaves  the 
room  in  such  order  that  she  need  have  no  fear  of  the  most 
critical  eye.  The  children  must  now  be  got  ready  for  school, 
and  this  takes  a little  time,  for  their  faces  and  hands  must 
be  w^ashed  and  clean  aprons  or  jackets  put  on,  in  order  that 
neither  they  nor  their  teacher  need  have  cause  to  be 
ashamed  of  dirt  and  carelessness  for  which  their  mother  is 
responsible. 

After  they  are  gone,  the  special  work  of  the  day,  what- 
ever it  may  be,  sewing,  baking,  cleaning  or  ironing,  may 
begin  (except  in  the  case  of  washing,  which  ought  to  be 
begun  as  early  in  the  morning  as  possible),  and  this  will  go 
on,  unless  some  accidental  interruption  occurs,  until  it  is 
time  to  prepare  for  the  mid-day  meal,  which  will  be  dinner 
or  luncheon,  according  as  the  father  or  children  do  or  do  not 
return  at  that  hour.  In  either  case,  when  the  meal  and  its 
attendant  work  are  done,  the  mother  will  again  have  two 
or  three  hours  for  work  in  the  house  or  garden  before  it  is 
time  to  cook  the  evening  meal, after  which  there  is  again  an 
hour  or  two  after  the  children  are  put  to  bed  (and  this 
should  be  at  a regular  hour),  for  rest,  amusement,  visiting, 


etc.  With  a day  systematized  in  this  way,  it  is  possible  for 
a woman  to  do  all  the  work  of  a small  family,  and  to  take 
in  work  in  addition,  though  it  is  no  doubt  more  desirable 
that  she  should  be  able  to  give  all  her  time  and  energy 
directly  to  the  care  other  own  family. 

As  I have  said  before,  there  are  innumerable  details  in 
housekeeping  in  regard  to  which  actual  instruction  from  a 
good  housekeeper  is  almost  a necessity;  but  I am  sure  that 
most  of  you  have  constant  opportunities  to  see  for  your- 
selves how  to  do  your  work  properly,  if  you  will  only  take 
advantage  of  them.  In  the  matter  of  cleanliness,  for  exam- 
ple, you  must  surely  have  seen  enough  for  yourselves  to 
know  that  to  sweep  dirt  into  holes  and  corners  where  for 
the  moment  it  is  out  of  sight,  or  to  throw  rubbish  into  a 
pantry  and  shut  the  door,  is,  in  no  sense,  cleanliness.  If  you 
are  going  to  be  clean,  you  must  not  keep  your  cellar 
noisome  with  decaying  vegetables,  or  refuse  of  any  kind  ; 
you  must  not  let  your  garret  be  a recej)tacle  for  the  dusty, 
mouldy  rubbish  of  years  ; you  must  not  let  your  back  door 
be  surrounded  by  the  quickly  accumulating  and  foul  smell- 
ing dirt  of  the  kitchen  ; but  you  must  see  to  it  yourself  that 
nowhere  within  the  limits  of  your  responsibility  is  there 
anything  unclean  which  your  hands  can  remove.  I know 
that  this  is  no  easy  task ; but  at  any  rate  you  can  do  your 
best,  and  the  advice  which  I would  give  to  any  woman 


ON  HABITS  AND  MANNERS. 


150 

who  is  too  poor  or  too  overworked  to  do  all  that  more  fortu- 
nate women  are  able  to  do,  is : ‘‘Rid  yourself  first  of  the 
dirt,  which  is  likely  to  be  directly  injurious  to  health  ; that 
is,  keep  your  cellar  clean,  even  if  your  windows  go 
unwashed;  wash  your  cooking  utensils  and  keep  your  beds^ 
fresh  at  the  expense  of  something  of  less  importance;  keep 
your  skin  clean,  even  if  your  dress  has  to  go  dirty.’’ 

But,  in  truth,  a person  who  really  loves  cleanliness  will 
be  clean  everywhere  and  at  all  times,  and  the  first  step  in 
advance  is  taken  when  you  begin  to  leel  that  din  in  any 
form  is  really  unpleasant  to  you,  and  that  to  sit  down  in  a 
dirty  room  at  a dirty  table,  to  eat  dirty  food  from  dirty 
dishes  (which  you  know  to  be  only  too  common  a habit)  isr 
to  you,  actual  misery.  When  you  have  learned  to  hate 
uncleanliness,  you  will  surely  learn  in  one  way  or  another 
to  be  clean,  and  you  will  never  be  a good  housekeeper  until 
you  do  hate  uncleanliness  in  every  shape  and  with  all  your 
heart.  The  more  closely  you  examine  the  work  of  any 
woman  who  is  a successful  housekeeper,  the  more  evident  it 
will  become  to  you  that,  like  the  woman  whom  we  have 
been  following  through  the  duties  of  the  day,  she  is  orderly, 
systematic  and  thorough  in  all  her  habits.  The  cleanliness, 
as  we  have  seen,  is  not  superficial,  but  includes  everything 
that  comes  within  her  province;  the  work  of  each  day  is 
arranged  so  that  nothing  is  left  to  chance;  her  cooking  is 


ON  HABITS  AND  MANNERS. 


151 

done  by  rule  and  not  by  guess;’’  she  studies  to  avoid 
waste,  and  to  make  the  most  of  her  materials  ; she  knows 
that  the  comfort  of  her  household  depends  mainly  upon  her 
thrift  and  industry,  and  she  takes  every  means  in  her  power 
to  find  out  and  adopt  the  best  way  of  doing  all  that  she  has 
to  do.  And  certainly  there  is  no  more  honorable  ambition 
for  most  women  than  the  ambition  to  be  a good  house- 
keeper, taking  that  word  always  in  its  broadest  and  most 
beautiful  sense,  the  Bible  sense,  whose  interpretation  we  find 
in  that  wonderful  description  in  the  last  chapter  of  Proverbs, 
a description  which  should  cheer  and  refresh  the  heart  of 
every  woman  who  is  trying  to  work  well  and  earnestly: 

The  heart  of  her  husband  doth  safely  trust  in  her. 

. . . She  will  do  him  good  and  not  evil  all  the  days  of 

her  life.  She  seeketh  wool  and  flax,  and  worketh  willingly 
Avith  her  hands  Strength  and  honor  are  her  clothing,  and 
she  shall  rejoice  in  time  to  come.  She  openeth  her  mouth 
with  wisdom,  and  in  her  tongue  is  the  law  of  kindness. 
She  looketh  well  to  the  ways  of  her  household,  and  eateth 
not  the  bread  of  idleness.  Her  children  rise  up  and  call  her 
blessed  ; her  husband  also,  and  he  praiseth  her. 

A woman  that  feareth  the  Lord,  she  shall  be  praised.” 


ON  HABITS  AND  MANNERS. 


152 


CHAPTER  XXL 


CARE  OF  THE  SICK. 

To  all  families,  but  especially  to  those  where  there  are 
little  children,  sickness  is  sure  to  come  in  one  form  or 
another,  and  no  wife  and  mother  should  feel  that  she  has 
done  her  duty  until  she  has  trained  herself  to  be  a gentle 
and  careful  nurse.  Furthermore,  it  is  undoubtedly  true, 
that  a large  proportion  of  the  illness  which  we  so  much 
dread  may  be  averted  or  greatly  modified  by  intelligent  and 
watchful  care,  and  as  prevention  is  better  than  cure,”  the 
first  thing  which  we  need  to  learn,  is,  how  to  prevent.  On 
that  point,  I have  already  said  much  to  j^ou,  but  shall  once 
more  repeat  briefiy  some  of  the  more  important  rules  wdiich 
have  been  found  to  be  essential  to  the  prevention  of  disease 
In  the  first  place,  then,  you  must  be  chan^  in  your  house,  in 
your  clothing,  in  your  body  and  in  your  soul.  Your  house, 
its  cellar,  outbuildings,  drainage,  etc.,  must  be  clean,  or  else 
the  poisonous  gases,  which  emanate  from  decay  of  any  and 
all  kinds,  will  produce  fevers  and  choleraic  diseases.  Your 
clothing  and  your  body  must  be  clean,  or  you  will  be  preyed 
upon  by  skin  diseases,  and  all  the  ailments  which  arise  from 
a stoppage  of  the  pores  of  the  skin;  and,  last  of  all,  your 
soul  must  be  clean,  because  there  is  no  more  frequent  or 
prolific  cause  of  disease  and  physical  degradation  than  vice 
or  immorality. 


ON  HABITS  AND  MANNERS. 


153 


Secondly,  you  must  have  good  and  well-cooked  food, 
which  you  must  eat  regularly  and  in  reasonable  quantities, 
as  excesses  in  eating;  and  drinking  sow  the  seed  for  the  har- 
vest  of  aches  and  pains,  and  you  must  be  careful  that  the 
water  which  you  drink  and  use  in  other  ways,  is  pure  ; that 
is,  free  from  filth  of  alt  kinds;  from  organic  matter  or  min- 
eral salts.  Thirdly,  you  must  be  clothed  with  due  regard  to 
the  changing  seasons,  must  have  plenty  of  fresh  air  to 
breathe,  both  by  day  and  night  ; and,  finally,  must  keep 
both  mind  and  body  in  a state  of  wholesome  activity  ; for 
work,  wholesome,  well-regulated  work,  is  a most  valuable 
safeguard  against  many  kinds  of  illness. 

A due  attention  to  these  rules  will  undoubtedly  enable 
both  individuals  and  communities  to  avoid  many  of  the  dis- 
eases (especially  those  that  usually  occur  in  epidemic  forms) 
which  have  hitherto  been  considered  inevitable;  but,  even 
then,  there  will  remain  ample  need  for  good  nursing,  aril 
any  woman  who  really  knows  how  to  nurse  will  always  find 
plenty  of  work  ready  to  her  hand.  1 do  not,  of  course, 
mean  to  say  that  a woman  who  has  the  cares  of  a hoiiseliold 
upon  her,  should  be  called  upon  to  be,  also,  a trained  nurse  ; 
but  I do  believe  that  almost  any  ordinarily  intelligent 
woman  can,  if  she  will  rightly  use  her  opportunities  and 
faculties,  learn  to  understand  so  well  the  symptoms  and 
treatment  of  any  common  illness  as  to  be  able  to  prevent 


154 


ON  HABITS  AND  MANNERS. 


and  alleviate  much  suffering  and  often  to  save  from  death. 
Take,  for  example,  what  is  called  a “ common  cold 
(which,  by-the-way,  is  one  of  tlie  most  fertile  sources  of 
illness,  especially  in  cold  climates),  and  let  us  see  what  can 
be  done  to  prevent  or  cure  it.  Carefulness  in  regard  to 
clothing,  avoidance  of  drafts  and  sudden  chills,  and  a habit 
of  being  much  in  the  fresh  air,  will  do  a good  deal  in  the 
way  of  prevention,  and  when  the  cold  is  fairly  caught  a lit- 
tle judicious  care  at  the  outset  will  often  prevent  the  long 
illnesses  which  so  frequently  follow  neglected  colds.  The 
requisites  are  warmth,  an  even  temperatare,  light  food  and 
good  air.  It  is  well  to  give  a hot  bath,  to  put  the  feet  in 
hot  mustard  water,  to  give  hot  drinks;  if  the  cold  is  on  the 
chest,  to  pat  on  a mustard  plaster;  if  it  is  in  the  head,  to 
steam  it  with  hot  water,  with  a little  camphor  in  it,  taking 
care,  always,  to  prevent  any  chill  from  following  the  profuse 
perspiration.  The  bowels  should  be  kep't  open,  by  a dose 
of  oil,  of  some  mineral  water,  or  by  an  eneema,  the  head 
cool  and  the  feet  warm,  and  a day  or  two  of  this  sort  of 
treatment  will  usually  break  up  even  a heavy  cold.  In  the 
case  of  fever,  again,  the  stomach  and  bowels  must  be  regu- 
lated as  quickly  as  possible;  light,  nourishing  food,  such  as 
beef-tea,  chicken  or  mutton  broth,  rice,  milk,  etc.,  should  be 
given  ; the  patient  must  be  kept  quiet  and  in  a darkened 
room,  with  the  head  cool  and  feet  warm,  while  ice  or  cold 


ON  HABITS  AND  MANNERS. 


155 


water  may  be  frequently  given.  Diarrhoeis  or  .dysentery 
demand  perfect  quiet ; the  best  thing  to  be  done,  in  many 
cases,  being  simply  to  put  the  patient  to  bed  and  feed  him, 
or  her,  on  arrowroot,  rice  and  water,  beef-tea,  etc.  ; giving 
small  quantities  at  a time.  All  derangements  of  the  stom- 
ach, inflammations,  etc.,  require  the  same  treatment ; the 
principle  being  that  rest  and  light  food  give  Nature  a 
chance  to  effect  her  owm  cure,  and  Nature  is  by  far  the  best 
physician  we  can  employ.  Medicines’  of  any  kind  should 
rarely  be  given  without  the  advice  of  a physician  and  never 
unless  you  are  thoroughly  familiar  with  their  action.  There 
are  times,  of  course,  when  quick  action  is  necessary,  as  in 
the  case  of  croup,  w^hen  ipecac  should  at  once  be  given  in 
sufficient  quantities  to  produce  vomiting ; or,  in  colic,  when 
a dose  of  castor-oil  is  always  a safe  remedy ; but  usually  it 
is  best  to  get  the  advice  of  a good  doctor  before  giving  any 
medicine;  for  when  you  begin  to  administer  drugs,  about 
which  you  know  little  or  nothing,  you  are  playing  with 
edged  tools. 

When  you  have  a patient  to  take  care  of  who  is  con- 
fined to  the  bed,  there  are  certain  things  to  be  done,  no 
matter  what  the  illness  may  be,  w^hich  are  the  foundation  of 
good  nursing  You  must  keep  the  air  fresh  by  opening  a 
window  (not  a door),  and  shielding  the  patient  from  the 
draft.  If  the  weather  is  cold,  you  can  either  leave  the  win- 


15^  ON  HABITS  AND  MANNERS. 

dow  on  a^crack  for  some  time,  or  you  can  open  it  wide  for  a 
few  minutes,  as  seems  best ; if  the  weather  is  mild,  it  is  best 
to  keep  one  window  constantly  open.  You  must  change  the 
bed-linen  frequently,  and  this  can  be  done,  even  with  a very 
sick  patient,  if  you  can  get  some  one  to  help  you  by  raising 
the  invalid  for  a moment  while  you  pull  out  the  soiled 
sheet  and  put  on  a clean  one,  rolling  it  up  and  slipping  it 
quickly  under  the  slightly-raised  body  of  the  patient,  who 
can  lie  upon  one  side  of  the  bed,  while  you  make  the  other. 
No  slops  of  any  kind  should  be  permitted  to  remain  in  the 
room  for  a moment,  and  it  is  well  to  use  some  disinfectant? 
such  as  carbolic  acid  and  chloride  of  lime,  remembering, 
however,  that  cleanliness  is  the  only  really  effectual  disin- 
fectant. The  patient  should  be  kept  quiet,  and  in  acute 
cases  should  never  be  allowed  to  see  strangers  or  to  oecome 
excited  by  talking,  etc.,  while  the  nurse  herself  should  wear 
a dress  of  some  soft  material  which  will  not  rustle,  and 
should  speak  always  in  a low  tone  and  gentle  voice,  humor- 
ing, but  at  the  same  time  controlling  the  patient.  The 
room  should  be  darkened,  or  at  least  the  i)atient’s  eyes 
should  be  shaded  from  the  light,  and  neatness  and  order 
should  be  the  universal  rule.  Feather  beds  should  never  be 
used  in  illness,  mattresses  being  on  all  accounts  better,  and 
the  bed  covering  should  be  light,  as  a weight  of  clothing  is 
very  oppressive  to  an  invalid.  Obedience  to  tlie  doctor’s 


ON  HABITS  AND  MANNERS  1 57 

orders  and  constant  watchfulness  of  symptoms  are  essential, 
and  at  all  times  it  must  be  remembered  that  sick  people  are 
like  children,  and  require  to  be  treated  with  great  gentle- 
ness, but  also  with  firmness. 

The  work  of  a nurse  is,  for  many  reasons,  very  difficult 
and  trying ; but  the  reward  is  great,  and  any  woman  who 
learns  to  be  a good  nurse  will  find  infinite  pleasure  in  the 
consciousness  of  her  ability  to  alleviate  and  prevent  suffer- 
ing, and  her  increased  power  to  do  good  to  others. 

CHAPTER  XXII. 

ACCIDENTS. 

In  any  emergency  whatever,  in  the  nature  of  an  acci 
dent  to  yourself  or  otliers,  or  of  a general  and  sudden  alarm,, 
you  are  useful,  first,  as  you  are  able  to  control  yourself;  and 
second,  as  you  can  do  what  is  necessary  until  efficient  help 
can  be  obtained.  You  may,  some  of  you,  have  heard  the 
joke,  which  though  old  is  not  worn  out,  to  the  effect  that  in 
a railway  accident,  there  is  but  one  thing  better  than  pies- 
ence  of  mind,^’  and  that  is  absence  of  body.’’  It,  after  all^ 
only  illustrates  the  fact  that  presence  of  mind,  that  is,  self- 
control,  is  an  essential  at  all  moments  of  danger  to  yourself 
or  others,  and  nothing  will  help  you  more  in  this  than  to 
be  sure  that  you  know  what  ought  to  be  done.  The  follow- 
ing simple  directions  will,  I trust,  be  of  assistance  to  you,, 


ON  HABITS  AND  MANNERS. 


158 

and  if  at  any  time  you  can  obtain  special  instruction,  it  will 
be  well  worth  your  while  to  do  so,  for  the  sake  of  those 
among  whom  your  future  work  may  lie : 

Wounds. — If  an  artery  or  large  vein  has  been  cut,  and 
you  can  always  tell  if  this  is  the  case,  by  the  fact  that  the 
blood  will  come  in  jets,  as  if  it  were  pumped,  you  must  stop 
it  by  pressing  your  finger  upon  the  artery  above  the  wound, 
if  it  is  in  the  leg  or  arm,  it  being  necessary,  as  perhaps  you 
understand,  to  stop  the  flow  from  the  heart.  Sometimes,  a 
compress  made  of  cotton  or  a folded  cloth  bandaged  tightly 
on  the  artery,  alwa3\s,  of  course,  between  the  wound  and  the 
heart,  will  effect  the  purpose,  but  where  there  are  two  per- 
sons present  who  can  rest  each  other,  it  is  best  to  use  the 
finger.  When  the  wound  is  superficial,  and  the  blood  simply 
oozes  from  it,  direct  pressure  with  a soft  cloth  wet  in  hot 
water,  should  be  used. 

Hemorrhage. — When  it  is  from  the  lungs,  the  patient 
should  be  made  to  lie  down,  with  the  head  low,  and  keep 
perfectly  quiet,  not  even  speaking  or  lifting  the  head.  Very 
cold  applications  may  be  made  to  the  chest,  that  is,  cloths 
wrung  out  of  cold  water  and  frequently  changed.  When 
the  hemorrhage  is  from  the  lungs  or  other  internal  organ, 
the  same  position  must  be  maintained,  with  perfect  quiet. 

Burns  and  Scalds. — Dissolve  a teaspoonful  of  soda  in 
half  a pint  of  water,  which  will  be  almost  a teacupful,  wet  a 


ON  HABITS  AND  MANNERS. 


f59 


soft  cloth  in  it  and  put  it  directly  on  the  burn.  Do  not  re- 
move the  cloth,  hut  when  it  is  dry  wet  it  by  pouring  a little 
of  the  solution  directly  upon  it.  Or,  take  equal  parts  of 
lime  water  and  sweet  oil,  mix  well,  and  apply  to  the  burn 
as  directed  for  the  soda ; or,  if  the  burn  is  superficial,  so 
that  the  skin  is  not  entirely  taken  ofi*,  cover  it  at  once  with 
a piece  of  isinglass  plaster,  which  must  be  left  until  the  place 
is  healed. 

Convulsions  in  Children. — Put  the  child  at  once  in  a 
hot  bath  for  ten  minutes  or  longer.  When  it  is  taken  out, 
wrap  it  in  a warm  blanket,  keep  the  head  cool  and  the  feet 
warm,  and  if  it  can  swallow,  give  a dose  of  oil.  To  prevent 
it  from  biting  its  tongue  and  lips,  put  a cork,  or  a folded 
towel,  between  the  teeth  till  the  paroxysm  is  over,  being 
careful  not  to  impede  the  breathing. 

Fainting. — Keep  the  head  low,  loosen  the  clothing  and 
put  camphor  or  ammonia  to  the  nose,  or  a little  pepper  on 
the  tongue. 

Croup. — Produce  vomiting  as  soon  as  poossible,  either 
by  ipecac,  salt  and  water,  or  any  mild  emetic  which  you  have 
at  hand.  Apply  cloths  wrung  out  of  very  hot  water  to  the 
throat,  being  careful  always  to  put  dry  cloths  over  the  w^et 
ones,  and  to  change  as  soon  as  they  get  cool. 

Broken  Bones. — The  only  thing  which  can  be  done  until 
the  doctor  comes,  is  to  keep  the  patient  from  moving,  and 


i6o 


ON  HABITS  AND  MANNERS. 


to  lay  the  limb  or  injured  part  in  a position  as  nearl}^  natural 
as  possible. 

Blows  on  the  Head. — Use  very  cold  applications  to  the 
head,  keep  the  feet  warm,  and  on  the  soles  put  small  mustard 
plasters.  Allow  the  patient  to  sleep,  and  permit  no  noise 
or  excitement  in  the  room,  which,  in  all  these  cases,  should 
he  well  ventilated  and  quiet. 

Drowning. — Place  the  body  face  downward,  raise  the 
chest  by  placing  pillows  under  the  body,  folded  garments,  or 
a block  of  wood, so  that  the  head  will  be  low  enough  to  per- 
mit the  water  which  has  been  swallowed  to  flow  out  of  the 
mouth.  Keep  up  the  temperature  by  bottles  of  hot  water 
around  the  body,  and  if  possible,  attempt  to  start  resriiration 
by  artificial  means.  This  is  done  by  lifting  the  arms  above 
the  head  gently,  then  bringing  them  down  and  pressing 
them  against  the  sides,  at  about  the  rate  of  ordinary  breath- 
ing ; but  this  process  can  hardly  be  understood  or  practiced 
until  you  have  seen  it  done  by  some  one  who  has  been  trained 
to  it,  and  you  will  probably  only  attempt  it  as  a last  resort. 

In  giving  these  directions  it  must  always  be  understood 
that  they  are  only  for  use  until  the  doctor  comes,  or  in  cases 
where  no  doctor  is  at  hand,  for  it  is  only  practical  experience 
which  can  fit  you  to  take  charge  of  a sick  room. 

In  cases  where  the  danger  is  general,  as  for  example 
when  a building  or  a vessel  is  on  fire,  in  the  midst  of  an 


ON  HABITS  AND  MANNERS  l6l 

epidemic,  in  a railway  accident,  etc.,  I can  only  say  to  yon 
that,  first  of  all,  you  must  try  to  control  your  own  fears  ; if 
you  can  do  this,  your  chances  to  help  others  as  well  as  your- 
self are  doubled,  for  you  can  think  clearly,  and  your  own 
courage  and  coolness  inspire  others  to  do  their  best  for  their 
common  safety.  Circumstances,  in  such  cases,  differ  so 
much  that  it  is  impossible  to  give  special  directions,  and  it 
is  a good  plan  to  consider,  when  you  are  at  peace  and  in 
safety,  what  you  would  do  in  the  face  of  such  dangers  as 
these,  in  this  way  preparing  yourself,  by  a habit  of  thought, 
to  act  intelligently  in  time  of  need. 


CHAPTER  XXTIL 

COOKERY. 

When  one  has  abundance  of  good  material,  and  is 
obliged  to  economize  neither  in  time  nor  labor,  it  is  not  a 
difficult  matter  to  become  a good  cook  ; but  the  real  test  of 
a woman’s  ability,  in  this  department  of  household  labor, 
lies  in  the  results  she  can  obtain  from  a few  inexpensive 
materials  with  comparatively  small  outlay  of  either  rime  or 
labor.  The  first  step  in  the  right  direction  is  to  thoroughly 
understand  the  importance  of  *good  cookery  to  the  health 
and  comfort  of  [a  family,  and  before  we  go  into  details,  I 


i62 


ON  HABITS  AND  MANNERS. 


should  like  to  make  clear  to  you  the  principles  which  under- 
lie what  is  rightly  called  the  art  ” of  cookery. 

You  are  probably  sufficiently  familiar  with  the  action 
of  your  own  stomachs  to  know  that  anything  which  irri- 
tates them  produces,  in  a greater  or  less  degree,  general 
derangement  and  illness ; and  the  acute  forms  of  such 
derangement  are,  probably,  pretty  well  known  to  you.  But, 
while  you  are  aware  that  unwholesome  or  badly  cooked 
food  is  almost  always  the  cause  of  these  acute  troubles,  you 
perhaps  do  not  know  that  such  food  may,  and  frequently 
does,  produce  a slow  and  subtle  irritation,  which  affects  the 
whole  constitution,  mental  and  physical,  and  in  time  is 
capable  of  causing  the  degeneration  of  a whole  race.  Dys- 
pepsia ’’  is  the  name  which  covers  the  thousand  and  one 
forms  of  this  irritation,  and  dyspepsia  means,  simply,  that 
the  stomach  cannot  digest  the  food  that  is  put  into  it,  and 
this  indigested  food  instead  of  supplying  the  nourishment 
which  is  the  result  of  complete  digestion,  disturbs  the  order 
of  the  whole  system  and  lays  the  foundation  of  numberless 
diseases.  Now,  the  common,  one  may  almost  say  universal, 
cause  of  dyspepsia,  is  that  food,  which  is  either  unwhole- 
some in  itself,  or  made  so  by  improper  cookery,  is  p)ut  into 
stomachs  to  which  Nature  has  given  the  ability  to  resent 
the  abuse. 

This  law  of  nature  is  so  unyielding  that  if  you  at- 


ON  HABITS  AND  MANNERS. 


163 


tempt  to  make  your  stomach  do  work  for  which  it  was  not 
intended,  your  body  will  sooner  or  later  suffer  the  conse- 
quences, and  nothing  is  more  certain  than  that  men  and 
women  who  desire  to  be  healthy  themselves,  or  to  have  heal- 
thy children,  must  learn  to  make  their  food  and  its  pre;)a- 
ration^  a matter  of  reasonable  consideration.  It  is  possible 
that  this  principle  of  the  physiological  necessity  of  good 
cookery  would  be  sufficient  for  my  present  purpose,  but 
there  is  still  another  fact  which  I want  you  to  notice,  and 
that  is,  that  the  highest  civilization  always  includes  great 
care  in  the  Choice  and  preparation  of  food.  Uncivilized 
races  live  like  animals,  eating  anything  they  can  get,  at  any 
time  and  in  any  way  ; but  the  gradual  ascent  of  humanity 
in  the  scale  of  civilization  is  marked  always  by  an  increase 
of  care  in  respect  to  food,  both  as  regards  material  and 
cookery.  So  long  as  you  eat  like  animals,  that  is,  irregular- 
ly, coarsely  and  carelessly,  just  so  long  you  are,  and  will  re- 
main uncivilized,  and  therefore,  if  you  mean  to  civilize 
yourself  thoroughly,  it  follows  that  you  must  become  refined 
and  careful  in  regard  to  food  and  its  preparation.  You  have 
then,  as  you  see,  two  good  reasons  for  trying  to  educate 
yourselves  in  respect  to  your  habits  of  eating  and  drinking — 
1st,  that  in  order  to  be  really  and  permanently  healthy  you 
must  have  good  and  well  cooked  food  ; 2d,  that  you  can 


164 


ON  HABITS  AND  MANNERS. 


never  be  really  civilized  until  you  learn  to  be  refined  and 
careful  as  regards  your  food. 

NoWj  practically,  it  is  upon  women  rather  than  upon 
men  that  the  burden  of  this  responsibility  falls,  and  women, 
in  this  country  at  least,  have  few  more  useful  fields  ot  work 
than  the  kitchen.  For  most  of  the  women  to  whom  I am 
writing,  economy  of  time,  of  money  and  of  labor  is  a neces- 
sity, and  it  is  only,  as  I have  said  before,  when  you  have 
learned  to  appreciate  the  importance  of  your  work  to  your- 
selves, and  to  others,  that  you  will  do  it  well.  I hope, 
therefore,  that  you  will  believe  me  when  I tell  you,  that 
when  you  have  learned  from  the  materials  at  your  command 
to  choose  and  prepare  for  your  husband  and  children,  good 
and  wholesome  food,  you  have  done  a great  thing  ; you  are 
helping  them  and  yourselves  in  ways  of  which  you  do  not 
dream.  If  you  are  in  earnest  in  your  desire  to  do  thi:?,  you 
must  begin  with  a few  simple  facts  which  can  be  easily 
stated  and  remembered,  and  you  must  determine  to  work 
intelligently  and  by  rule,  not  blindly  and  by  ‘‘ guess. 

In  the  first  place  then,  you  need  to  learn  how  to  choose 
and  cook,  meat,  fish,  vegetables,  and  the  different  kinds  of 
grain,  and  a certain  amount  of  real  study  is  necessary  to  do 
this.  In  regard  to  meats,  for  example,  you  should  know 
that  beef,  mutton  and  venison  are  more  wholesome  tlmn 
veal  or  pork,  that  almost  all  kinds  of  poultry  and  game  are 


ON  HABITS  AND  MANNERS.  165 

good  and  nourishing,  and  that  in  preparing  any  kind  of  meat 
it  is  better  to  roast,  broil  or  boil  than  to  fry,  as  by  the  latter 
process,  the  article  cooked,  whatever  it  might  be,  becomes 
soaked  with  the  melted  grease,  and  is,  in  proportion,  indiges- 
tible. Tough  pieces  of  all  meats  except  pork,  can  be  used 
for  soups,  and  bones  and  odds  and  ends  of  cold  or  uncooked 
meat  should  be  kept  for  the  same  purpiose.  These  soups, 
which  can  be  made  with  cheap  vegetables,  as  cabbage, 
onions,  potatoes,  etc.,  and  with  very  little  or  no  meat,  are 
wholesome,  cheap,  and  afford  an  agi  eeable  variety.  Fish,  for 
all  who  live  on  the  sea  coast,  or  in  the  neighborhood  of 
rivers  and  lakes,  is  also  a cheap  and  wholesome  food,  and  as 
in  the  case  of  meat,  it  can  be  broiled,  boiled,  baked  or 
friend,  while  when  salted  or  smoked,  it  provides  material 
for  many  different  dishes.  As  to  vegetables  and  fruits,  the 
variety  both  in  kinds  and  ways  of  cooking,  is  almost  endless. 
Any  man  or  woman  in  this  country  who  has  a garden,  not 
to  say  a farm,  can  provide  a family  with  a constant  succes- 
sion of  fresli  vegetables  at  small  expense,  and  people  who 
live  without  such  supply  have  usually  only  their  own  ignor- 
ance or  want  of  energy  to  blame  for  it.  These  vegetables 
and  fruits  are,  with  few  exceptions,  wholesome,  and  may  be 
eaten  at  all  seasons  in  reasonable  quantities,  care  being 
taken  to  use  none  that  are  unripe,  or  at  all  decayed.  They 
can,  of  course,  be  cooked  in  a variety  of  ways,  and  an  intelli- 


i66 


ON  HABITS  AND  MANNERS. 


gent  woman  will  quickly  learn  how  to  choose  the  best  ami 
most  economical.  The  different  grains  also  furnish  most 
important  articles  of  food  and  are  almost,  without  exception, 
wholesome,  and  in  this  country,  cheap.  They  can  be  simply 
boiled  with  water  and  eaten  as  porridge  or  mush,  or  can  be 
made  with  other  ingredients  into  cakes,  puddings  and  bread 
of  different  kinds.  As  porridge,  mush,  etc,  they  are  espe- 
cially good  for  children,  as  they  are  easily  digested  and  very 
palatable. 

The  small  collection  of  receipts  which  I have  placed  at 
theend  of  this  volume,  will,  I trust,  be  of  some  assistance  to 
you  in  preparing  the  rnaterial  which  you  are  able  to  obtain  ; 
but  until  you  learn,  as  I have  said  before,  to  understand  the 
reasons  for  good  cookery  and  regular  habits  in  respect  to 
food.,  no  receipts,  however  good  in  themselves,  can  be  of 
much  use  to  you.  I have  therefore  given,  in  connection 
with  the  receipts,  such  suggestions  as  I think  may  help  you 
to  bear  in  mind,  or  to  search  for  the  reasons  for  what  3^11 
are  doing,  hoping  that  in  this  way  you  may  gradually  find 
out  for  yourselves  that  I have  not  exaggerated  the  irnport- 
'Bnce  of  your  work. 

When  you  have  learned  to  cook  well  and  intelligently, 
you  have  made  yourselves  valuable  members  of  any  house- 
hold, rich  or  poor,  and  this  is  surely  no  little  thing  to  say, 
and  no  mean  ambition  for  any  woman  to  set  bef)re  herself. 


ON  HABITS  AND  MANNERS.  167 

and  I would,  therefore,  urge  every  woman  who  reads  this  to 
do  her  best  to  create  healthy  and  civilized  tastes  in  regard 
to  food,  in  all  those  who  are  within  her  reach. 

SOUP. 

Although  soups  are  considered,  and  indeed  can  be  made 
a very  expensive  kind  of  food,  it  is  quite  possible  to  make 
delicious  soups  at  a small  cost,  but  this  requires  some  skill 
and  forethought,  and  is  therefore  not  often  done.  In  the 
first  place,  all  gravies,  scraps  and  bones  of  meat,  and  many 
kinds  of  cold  vegetables  can  be  used  for  that  purpose,  and 
are  indeed,  with  the  addition  of  an  occasional  piece  of  fr  es 
meat  and  some  fresh  vegetables,  all  that  is  required  to  make 
many  kinds  of  soup.  The  bones,  etc.,  which  of  course  must 
be  perfectly  sweet,  should  be  simmered  for  four  or  five  hours, 
or  longer,  in  sufficient  water  to  cover  them,  then  the  broth 
should  be  strained  off  and  set  away  until  the  following  day, 
when  it  must  be  boiled  again  for  a short  time  with  what- 
ever vegetables  or  seasoning  you  may  prefer  to  use.  To 
^‘stock/’as  it  is  called,  made  in  this  way,  you  can  add  to- 
matoes, rice,  barley,  cabbage,  onion,  etc.  You  can  thicken  it 
with  potatoes  or  milk  ; you  can  season  it  and  put  in  macca- 
roni  or  vermicelli;  in  short,  there  are  numerous  different 
ways  of  treating  it,  and  a little  experience  will  soon  teach 
you  to  make  excellent  soup  from  materials  which  must 
otherwise  be  thrown  away.  Of  course  if  you  can  afford 


i68 


ON  HABITS  AND  MANNERS. 


fresh  meats,  the  soup  will  be  richer  and  more  nourishing, 
and  whenever  you  boil  any  kind  of  meat,  (except  pork)  or 
poultry,  you  should  carefully  save  the  water  in  which  it  is 
boiled  for  the  basis  of  a soup.  There  are  some  kinds  of 
soup  which  are  in  themselves  a dinner,  and  I add  a few  re- 
ceipts which  you  will  find  both  good  and  cheap. 

BEEF  SOUP. 

Take  a hock  of  beef,  or  any  such  piece  as  would  be  used  for  corn- 
ing, boil  it  three  hours,  add  a dozen  white  potataoes,  three  carrots 
cut  fine,  two  onions,  one  turnip,  and  a little  celery  if  you  can  get  it, 
.and  boil  another  hour.  Season  to  taste,  and  serve  all  together,  taking 
-•out  the  beef  and  putting  it  on  the  table  in  a separate  dish. 

VEAL  SOUP. 

Boil  a knuckle  of  veal  three  hours,  add  a dozen  potatoes,  one 
onion  and  a large  handful  of  rice,  and  boil  another  hour.  Take  out 
the  veal  and  potatoes  and  season  the  soup  to  taste.  Then  cut  up  the 
veal  and  potatoes  in  rather  small  pieces,  and  season  with  pepper,  salt, 
and  a little  vinegar.  Take  one  pint  of  milk,  or  of  milk  and  water, 
thicken  it  with  two  tablespoonfuls  of  flour;  when  it  boils  add  a small 
piece  of  butter  and  pour  it  over  the  veal  and  potatoes.  This,  with 
the  soup,  makes  an  excellent  dinner. 

VEGETABLE  SOUP. 

This  can  be  made  without  any  meat  at  all,  and,  if  you  raise  your 
own  vegetables,  is  the  cheapest  of  all  soups.  Take  a dozen  potatoes, 
half  a small  head  of  cabbage,  three  onions,  four  carrots,  two  turnips, 
if  possible  a little  celery  or  three  or  four  tomatoes,  two  handfuls  of 


ON  HABITS  AND  MANNERS. 


I 69 

barley  or  the  same  of  rice.  Cut  the  vegetables,  except  the  potatoes, 
quite  fine  and  boil  until  thoroughly  done,  seasoning  to  taste.  If 
desired,  a small  piece  of  pork  may  be  added. 

SUCCOTASH. 

Take  two  dozen  ears  of  sweet  corn,  cut  the  corn  from  the  cobs, 
dividing  the  kernels  as  nearly  in  half  as  possible  ; scrape  the  cobs  and 
throw  them  into  a large  pot  full  of  water.  Let  them  boil  two  hours, 
then  dip  them  out  and  scrape  them  thoroughly,  putting  all  that  you 
■scrape  off  directly  into  the  pot,  into  which  at  the  same  time  you  put 
rather  less  than  a quart  of  Lima  beans,  and  a piece  of  salt  pork 
weighing  from  one  and  a half  to  two  pounds.  Boil  for  three  quarters 
of  an  hour,  then  add  the  corn  which  j^ou  cut  from  the  cobs,  half  a 
tablespoonful  of  sugar,  and  a very  little  salt.  This  is  a most  excellent 
^nd  inexpensive  dish,  and  is  very  good  even  when  made  of  dried  corn 
and  beans. 

BEAN  OR  PEA  SOUP. 

One  pint  of  beans  or  peas  to  two  quarts  of  the  “stock”  already 
described.  Soak  the  beans  or  peas  all  night  and  boil  them  soft ; 
season  with  pepper,  silt,  and  a little  onion. 

calf’s  head  soup. 

Boil  until  the  meat  clears  from  the  bone,  strain  the  broth  and 
add  the  meat  to  it,  with  three  onions  chopped  fine.  Boil  the  brains 
in  a cloth  by  themselves,  mix  them  with  a little  flour  and  add  to  the 
soup.  Season  with  pepper,  salt,  thyme  and  a little  mace. 

OKRA  SOUP. 

Five  quarts  of  water,  and  one  and  a half  pounds  beef,  five  dozen 


ON  HABITS  AND  MANNERS. 


I 70 

okras  cut  in  thin  slices,  one  dozen  tomatoes,  one  cup  of  rice.  Season 
with  salt  and  cloves.  The  whole  must  be  boiled  four  hours  and 
strained  through  a sieve. 

OX-TAIL  SOUP. 

If  you  have  a butcher  in  your  neighborhood  you  can  frequently 
get  the  ox-tai'ls  for  a very  small  price,  or  indeed  for  nothing,  and  the 
soup  is  of  course  cheap  in  proportion.  Boil  the  tail  until  it  is  thor- 
oughly done,  take  out  the  bones  and  add  any  vegetable  you  like,  or 
strain  the  soup  or  thicken  with  a little  browned  flour,  seasoning  to 
taste. 

TOMATO  SOUP. 

Take  two  quarts  of  stock,  boil  two  dozen  tomatoes  until  thor- 
oughly done,  rub  them  through  a sieve  and  add  to  the  stock.  Thicken 
with  a little  flour,  season  with  onion,  pepper  and  salt,  then  cut  wheat 
bread  into  small  square  pieces,  fry  in  a little  butter  or  lard,  and  drop 
into  the  soup  just  before  putting  it  on  the  table. 

POTATO  OR  MILK  SOUP. 

Take  two  quarts  of  stock  and  thicken  it  either  with  a quart  of 
finely  mashed  potatoes,  or  a quart  of  milk  into  which  you  have  rubbed 
a pint  of  flour.  In  both  cases  season  with  onion,  pepper  and  salt, 
straining  your  stock  perfectly  clear  before  you  add  either  the  potato 
or  milk. 

FISH. 

For  all  who  live  on  the  sea-board,  or  in  the  near  neighborhood 
of  lakes  and  rivers,  fish  is  a cheap  as  well  as  a wholesome  food,  and 
even  those  who  live  far  inland,  can,  at  a slightly  increased  cost,  obtain 
a good  variety  of  canned  or  salted  fish.  Fresh  fish  may  be  cooked  in 


ON  HABITS  AND  MANNERS.  l/I 

many  different  ways,  but  the  simplest  are  usually  the  best,  and  for 
these,  only  a few  rules  need  be  given. 

BOILED  FISH. 

Glean  yojar  fish  carefully  and  boil  it  whole,  in  very  little  water, 
with  or  without  salt,  as  you  like.  It  should  be  eaten  with  some  kind 
of  sauce  or  drawn  butter,  for  otherwise  it  is  very  tasteless.  A fish 
weighing  four  or  five  pounds  is  the  best  to  boil. 

BROILED  FISH. 

split  the  fish  exactly  in  half  and  broil  it  over  live  coals,  taking 
care  that  it  does  not  get  burned  or  smoked.  When  done,  put  it  on 
the  dish  and  butter  while  hot. 

FRIED  FISH. 

For  this,  small  fish  is  necessary,  and  should  be  rolled  whole  in 
bread  or  cracker  crumbs,  or  Indian  meal,  and  fried  quickly  in  hot  fat»“ 
lard  or  butter. 

BAKED  FISH. 

Take  a fish  as  for  boiling  and  fill  it  with  the  following  stuffing, 
sewing  up  the  side  where  you  put  the  stuffing  in,  and  putting  a few 
small  lumps  of  butter  on  top  while  baking.  Bread  crumbs  in  quantity 
according  to  size  of  fish,  mixed  with  a little  butter,  pepper,  salt,  and  a 
little  thyme  or  sage,  or  instead  of  butter  a little  finely  chopped  pork. 

SHELL  FISH. 

While  the  different  kinds  of  shell  fish  make  many  delicious  dishes,, 
they  are,  for  some  people,  very  unwholesome,  producing  violent  indi- 
gestion with  often  a bright  red  eruption,  and  they  should  therefore  be 
aten  with  great  care,  especially  in  hot  weather. 


172 


ON  HABITS  AND  MANNERS. 


OYSTERS  AND  CLAMS. 

Stewed,  Put  the  liquor  on  the  fire  by  itself  ; when  it  comes  to  a 
boil,  drop  in  the  oysters  or  clams,  and  add  at  once,  starring  all  the  time» 
milk  (in  proportion  of  one  cup  to  a quart  of  oysters)  in  which  you 
have  mixed  smoothly  two  tablespoonfuls  of  wheat  flour,  and  one 
tablespoonful  of  butter.  As  soon  as  this  thickens  so  that  the  broth 
is  creamy,  take  from  the  fire  and  serve  hot. 

Fried.  Roll  each  oyster  or  clam  in  bread  or  cracker  crumbs,  or 
Indian  meal,  and  fry  in  butter  or  lard. 

Scalloped.  Small  dishes  should  be  used  for  this  : scallop  shells 
themselves  being  excellent.  Roll  the  oysters  or  clams  in  bread 
crumbs  with  which  you  have  mixed  a little  salt  and  pepper,  put  them 
in  the  dishes  or  shells,  with  several  small  lumps  of  butter  on  top  of 
each,  and  bake  in  a quick  oven. 

LOBSTERS  AND  CRABS. 

Boil  till  thoroughly  done  ; take  the  meat  from  the  shells  and  eat 
-cold,  stewed,  pickled  or  scalloped. 

Stewed.  Mix  with  butter,  pepper,  salt  and  a little  hot  water,  and 
boil  for  one  minute. 

Pickled.  Put  in  a bowl,  season  highly  with  pepper,  salt  and  mace, 
and  cover  with  vinegar. 

Scalloped.  The  same  as  oysters  and  clams. 

SALT  FISH. 

All  the  different  kinds  of  salt  fish  may  be  either  broiled  or  boiled 
while  some  kinds,  as  codfish,  haddock,  etc.,  may  be  made  into  a 
variety  of  palatable  dishes. 


ON  HABITS  AND  MANNERS. 


173 


CODFISH. 

I.  Shred  fine  and  stew  in  a little  milk,  butter  and  pepper.  Jus 
before  putting  on  the  table,  add  one  or  more  hard-boiled  eggs,  cut 
into  small  pieces. 

2.  Chop  up  very  fine  with  an  equal  quantity  of  potato,  add  a little 
milk,  butter  and  pepper ; serve  hot. 

3.  Roll  the  above,  when  cold,  into  small  cakes,  and  fry  in  lard. 

HADDOCK. 

1.  Stew  with  milk,  etc.,  the  same  as  codfish. 

2.  Boil  a cupful  of  rice  ; when  thoroughly  done,  add  twice  the 
quantity  of  finely-shredded  haddock,  and  two  hard-boiled  eggs, 
chopped  very  fine  ; a little  pepper. 

MEATS. 

Large  pieces  of  beef,  mutton,  pork,  veal,  venison,  etc.—  poultry 
and  many  kinds  of  game  are  best  and  most  wholesome  when  roasted  in 
a slow  oven,  care  being  taken  not  to  over  do  them.  Beef,  mutton, 
and  poultry  may  also  be  boiled,  and  in  this  case  the  water  used 
should  always  be  saved  for  soup,  while  the  meats  may  be  often  made 
more  palatable  by  boiling  vegetables  with  them,  as  corned  beef  with 
cabbage  and  turnips.  Ham,  bacon,  and  salt  pork  are  usually  boiled, 
and  to  the  last  two,  cabbage,  beans,  turnips  or  some  kind  of  green, 
are  generally  added.  Smaller  pieces  of  beef,  mutton,  venison  (as 
steaks  and  chops),  spring-chickens  and  the  smaller  kinds  of  game  are 
best  broiled,  and  for  this  the  meat  should  be  cut  thick  (at  least  two 
inches)  and  broiled  quickly  over  live  coals,  taking  care  not  to  smoke, 
burn,  or  over  do  it.  With  the  exception  of  ham  and  bacon,  no  meat 


174 


ON  HABITS  AND  MANNERS. 


should  be  fried,  and  even  these  two  are  less  greasy  and  safer  when 
well  broiled.  There  are  few  articles  which  a careful  and  intelligent 
cook  will  fry,  and,  as  a rule,  almost  any  way  of  cooking  food  is  to  be 
preferred  to  this. 

Excellent  hashes  and  stews  can  be  made  from  cold  meats  or  from 
pieces  of  meat  which  cannot  be  used  in  any  other  way,  and  for  these 
I add  a few  well-tried  receipts. 

BEEF,  MUTTON,  CHICKEN,  VEAL,  OR  TURKEY  HASH. 

'Remove  all  gristle,  bones  or  fat,  chop  the  remaining  meat  very 
fine  and  put  it  in  a pan  with  a little  hot  water,  or  better  still  a little 
meat  gravy.  When  thoroughly  heated,  put  it  on  a flat  dish,  and  sur- 
round it  with  small  triangular  pieces  of  buttered  toast.  In  making 
this  of  poultry,  add  any  cold  dressing,  liver  or  gizzard  (chopping  fine) 
which  you  may  have. 

CORN-BEEF  HASH. 

Chop  the  beef  fine,  with  an  equal  quantity  of  potato,  add  a very 
little  hot  water,  a small  piece  of  butter,  and  a little  pepper.  Heat 
thoroughly. 

BEEF  OR  MUTTON  HASH. 

Cut  the  meat  up  (not  very  fine)  and  mix  with  an  equal  quantity 
of  potato  cut  in  the  same  way.  Add  gravy,  pepper,  salt,  and  heat 
thoroughly. 

VEAL,  MUTTON  OR  CHICKEN  HASH. 

Chop  the  meat  very  fine,  season  with  salt,  pepper  and  thyme  or 
sage.  Line  a bowl  with  hot  boiled  rice,  and  into  the  hollow  left  in 
the  centre  put  the  chopped  meat.  When  quite  cold,  the  whole  will 
turn  out  in  shape,  and  should  then  be  put  in  the  oven  and  allowed  to 


ON  HABITS  AND  MANNERS. 


^75 

warm,  without  browning  at  all,  Take  it  out  and  pour  over  it  drawn 
butter,  made  as  described,  for  fish  sauce. 

STEWED  MUTTON  OR  BEEF. 

For  this  you  can  use  either  meat  which  has  been  once  cooked,  or 
can  take  inferior  pieces  of  fresh  meat.  Boil  gently  for  one  hour  with 
just  sufficent  water  to  prevent  burning,  then  add  potatoes,  carrots  and 
onions  and  a little  turnip,  and  boil  three  quarters  of  an  hour  longer. 
Turn  out  on  to  a large  flat  dish,  aud  put  boiled  rice  neatly  round  the 
edge. 

CHOPPED  VEAL,  MUTTON  OR  CHICKEN. 

One  and  a half  pounds  of  the  meat ; quarter  of  a pound  salt  pork 
chopped  fine  ; three  Boston  crackers,  or  an  equal  amount  of  butter 
crackers  ; two  eggs ; salt,  sage,  pepper  to  taste.  Pack  in  a pan  and 
cook  until  thoroughly  done.  Half  a cup  of  cream  will  improve  this 
receipt. 

SAUSAGES. 

Three  full  tablespoonfuls  of  powdered  sage  ; one  and  a half  full 
tablespoonfuls  salt ; one  full  tablespoonful  pepper,  to  a pound  of  finely 
chopped  meat. 

CHOWDER. 

Three  slices  salt  pork  fried  brown ; three  onions  fried  in  the  fat  . 
one  quart  boiled  potatoes,  mashed  ; two  pilot  biscuit  broken  fine  ; 
one  tablespoonful  thyme  ; three  tablespoonfuls  pepper : half  a tea- 
spoonful qioves  ; a little  salt,  six  pounds  fresh  fish  cut  n slices ; water 
enough  to  cover,  boil  slowly  one  hour. 

STUFFING  FOR  POULTRY. 

Soak  a sufiicient  quantity  of  bread  crusts  in  water  ; when  soft, 


176 


ON  HABITS  AND  MANNERS. 


chop  fine  and  add  salt,  pepper,  sage  and  a little  butter  ; chop  the 
liver  and  gizzards  of  the  fowls  very  fine  and  mix  with  the  bread. 

CHOPPED  BEEF. 

Take  cold  roast  or  boiled  beef,  chop  it  fine,  and  add  half  the 
quantity  of  bread  crumbs,  salt,  pepper  and  a little  butter.  Warm, 
with  a little  water  or  gravy,  or  put  it  in  a pan  and  bake. 

PORK  AND  BEANS. 

Soak  the  beans  all  night ; put  them  in  a deep  dish  with  a little 
water,  and  in  the  centre  of  the  dish  put  a thick  piece  of  salt  pork. 
Bake  three  or  four  hours. 


VEGETABLES. 

Potatoes  may  be  cooked  in  a great  variety  of  ways,  and  are  always 
good  and  nourishing  food. 

Mashed — Rub  well-boiled  potatoes  till  there  are  no  lumps,  and 
add  salt,  milk  or  cream,  and  a little  butter.  Leave  them  in  this  way,, 
or  put  them  in  a deep  dish  and  brown  in  the  oven,  or  roll  and  cook  as 

croquettes. 

Chopped — Chop  cold  boiled  potatoes  not  very  fine  ; warm  them 
with  milk,  butter  and  salt. 

Fried — Cut  cold  boiled  potatoes  in  thick  slices,  and  brown  slightly 
in  butter  or  lard,  or  slice  raw  potatoes  very  thin  and  fry  to  a crisp  in 
lard  deep  enough  to  cover  them,  and  at  the  boiling  point. 

TURNIPS. 


Mash  while  hot  and  mix  with  butter,  pepper  and  salt. 


ON  HABITS  AND  MANNERS. 


177 


CARROTS. 

Cut  in  fine  strips,  boil  soft,  drain  off  the  water,  and  thicken  it 
with  a little  flour  and  milk,  add  pepper  and  salt,  and  pour  over  the 
carrots.  Celery  and  salsify  may  be  cooked  in  the  same  way. 

TOMATOES. 

Cut  two  cucumbers  and  one  onion  into  very  small  pieces,  boil 
till  quite  soft,  add  six  large  tomatoes  which  have  been  peeled  and  cut 
up,  some  pepper  and  salt,  and  boil  till  done.  If  any  of  this  is  left, 
thicken  it  with  bread  crumbs,  put  in  a deep  dish,  sprinkle  bread 
crumbs  and  a little  butter  on  top,  and  bake.  Canned  tomatoes  can 
be  cooked  in  the  same  way. 

ONIONS. 

Boil  till  soft,  put  in  a deep  dish  and  pour  over  them  a sauce  made 
of  milk  thickened  with  flour,  butter,  pepper  and  salt.  Scallop  cold 
boiled  onions  with  bread  crumbs  in  the  same  way  as  tomatoes 

Cauliflower  should  be  boiled  with  a little^  salt  and  served  with 
drawn  butter. 

Greens  of  any  kind  should  be  boiled  very  tender,  rubbed  through 
a sieve  and  garnished  with  slices  of  boiled  egg. 

WHEAT  BREAD. 

Two  quarts  sifted  flour,  three  pints  water,  one-fourth  cake  yeast, 
one  teaspoonful  salt,  one  large  spoonful  butter,  one  teaspoonful 
sugar.  Mix  well,  let  it  stand  until  it  has  doubled  in  size,  make  it  in 
two  loaves,  knead  it,  put  it  in  pans  and  let  it  rise  a second  time. 
Bake  in  slow  oven.  Equal  parts  of  milk  and  water  can  be  used  if 
desired. 


178 


ON  HABITS  AND  MANNERS. 


BROWN  BREAD. 

One  pint  milk  scalded  and  cooled,  two  tablespoonfuls  of  sugar, 
one  teaspoonful  of  salt,  one-quarter  yeast  cake  dissolved  in  one-half 
cup  cold  water,  two  cups  white  flour,  sifted  ; three  and  one-half  cups 
Graham  flour.  Mix  a little  softer  than  white  bread.  Let  it  rise  till 
light ; stir  it  down  and  pour  into  well-greased  pans.  Let  it  rise 
again,  and  bake  a little  longer,  and  in  a slower  oven,  than  white 
bread. 

ROLLS. 

Pour  one  pint  of  scalded  milk  on  one  teaspoonful  each  of  butter, 
sugar  and  salt ; when  lukewarm,  add  one-half  cup  of  yeast.  Stir  in 
three  cups  of  flour,  and  beat  well.  Let  it  rise  about  three  hours, 
then  add  from  two  to  three  cups  of  flour,  to  make  it  just  stiff  enough 
to  knead,  and  knead  for  twenty  minutes ; let  it  rise  in  the  bowl^ 
Shape  it  into  rolls,  and  after  putting  it  in  the  pans,  let  it  rise  again. 

CORN  MUFFINS. 

One  cup  of  flour,  one  cup  of  corn  meal,  one  cup  of  milk,  two 
tablespoonfuls  of  sugar,  one-half  teaspoonful  of  soda,  one  teaspoonful 
of  cream  of  tartar,  one-half  teaspoonful  of  salt,  one-half  tablespoonful 
melted  butter;  one  egg.  Mix  the  dry  ingredients  together  and  sift 
them.  Beat  an  egg  light,  add  the  milk  and  stir  all  together.  Bake 
twenty  minutes. 


GRAHAM  MUFFINS. 

One-quarter  cup  sugar,  one-half  cup  butter,  two  eggs,  one  cup 
sweet  milk,  two  teaspoonfuls  baking  powder,  Graham  flour  enough  to 
make  a stiff  batter.  Bake  half  an  hour. 


ON  HABITS  AND  MANNERS. 


179 


QUICK  BISCUIT. 

One  quart  flour,  one  teaspoonful  salt,  three  teaspoonfuls’ baking 
powder  ; sift  these  together ; rub  in,  with  tips  of  fingers,  one  large  tea- 
spoonful of  lard  ; add  milk  enough  to^make  a soft  dough. 

RICE  BREAD, 

One  pint  rice  flour ; one  pint  milk ; one  tablespoonful  butter ; 
one  egg ; one  level  teaspoonful  soda ; one  of  cream  of  tartar ; a little 
salt.  Scald  the  milk,  and  mix  as  for  corn  bread. 

MUFFINS. 

One  quart  warm  milk  ; three  eggs  ; one  teaspoonful  of  salt ; four 
tablespoonfuls  of  yeast ; flour,  to  make  a stiff  batter,  a piece  of  but- 
ter  the  size  of  an  egg.  Bake  when  risen. 

FLANNEL  CAKES. 

One  cup  milk ; two-thirds  of  a cup  of  butter ; two  tablespoonfuls 
sugar ; whites  of  two  eggs,  well  beaten ; half  a cup  yeast ; flour  to 
make  a thick  batter.  Cook  on  griddle. 

HOMINY  WAFFLES. 

To  one  pint  cold  boiled  hominy  add  one  quart  sour  milk,  two 
beaten  eggs,  two  tablespoonfuls  melted  butter  and  one  teaspoonful 
soda,  with  flour  sufficient  for  a thick  batter. 

Rice  cakes  can  be  made  in  the  same  way,  and  can  be  fried  on  a 
griddle,  or  cooked  as  waffles. 

Boiled  rice,  hominy,  cornmeal,  oatmeal  and  cracked  wheat  are 
all  excellent  for  breakfast  and  supper,  as  they  are  nourishing,  satisfy- 
ing and  cheap.  Hot  breads  of  all  kinds  are,  as  a rule,  unwholesome 
and  the  same  is  true  of  fried  cakes,  which  should  seldom  be  eaten, 
especially  in  warm  climates.  A breakfast  or  supper  of  any  of  the 


ON  HABITS  AND  MANNERS. 


i8o 

grains,  with  milk,  butter  or  molasses  is,  on  all  accounts,  far  more 
wholesome  than  hot  breads  or  cakes,  fried  pork,  bacon,  or  indeed 
than  any  of  the  food  commonly  eaten  by  the  poorer  classes  in  this 
country,  besides  being  cheaper  and  easier  to  prepare.  Two  meals  out 
of  the  daily  three  can  be  made  upon  these  grains,  with  the  addition, 
for  the  sake  of  variety,  of  white  and  sweet  potatoes,  boiled  or  baked  : 
and  such  a diet  is,  as  I have  said,  strongly  to  be  recommended  to  all 
who  desire  to  live  cheaply  and  well. 


PUDDINGS  AND  CAKE. 

TROY  PUDDINGS. 

One  cup  milk ; one  cup  molasses ; one  cup  suet,  chopped  fine,  or 
butter;  tv/o  cups  raisins;  flour  enough  to  make  a thick  batter;  one 
teaspoonful  saleratus.  Boil  four  hours  ; eat  with  sauce. 

BERRY  PUDDING. 

Two  cups  molasses;  one  cup  milk;  three  cups  flour ; one-half 
cup  butter ; two  cups  berries ; two  eggs;  one  teaspoonful  saleratus. 
Bake, 

POP-OVERS. 

Two  teacups  flour;  two  of  milk;  two  eggs;  salt ; a piece  of  but- 
ter the  size  of  a walnut  (melted).  Bake  in  cups  in  a quick  oven, 

RICE  PUDDING. 

Mix  two  cups  cold  boiled  rice  with  a quart  of  milk,  a little  sugar 
and  salt,  and  the  grated  rind  of  one  lemon.  Bake  in  a slow  oven. 

TAPIOCA  PUDDING. 

Six  tablespoonfuls  tapioca,  soaked  all  night  in  one  pint  cold 
water.  In  the  morning  turn  off  the  water;  add  a little  salt,  the  yolk 


ON  HABITS  AND  MANNERS. 


i8i 


of  three  eggs,  one  cup  sugar,  one  quart  milk  ; boil  like  custard.  Put 
it  in  a dish,  and,  when  cool,  stir  in  lightly  the  beaten  whites ; flavor 
with  vanilla  and  eat  cold. 

ANOTHER. 

Put  one  quart  tapioca  in  one  quart  cold  water.  Set  it  in  a warm 
place  till  it  becomes  clear.  Pare  and  quarter  apples  ; put  them  in  a 
pudding  dish,  with  a little  sugar  and  nutmeg;  add  a little  salt  to  the 
tapioca ; pour  it  over  the  apples,  and  bake  till  they  are  tender.  Serve 
with  sugar  and  cream,  or  milk. 

APPLE  PUDDING. 

Pare  and  grate  eight  apples ; measure  in  a cup  or  bowl,  and  add 
same  quantity  of  bread  crumbs,  three  eggs,  one  and  a-half  pints  milk, 
and  a little  sugar  and  cinnamon.  Bake  and  eat  with  cream,  or  omit 
the  cream  and  eat  with  sweet  sauce. 

ANOTHER. 

Pare  the  apples,  and  stew  till  tender;  beat  up  light,  with  a little 
sugar  and  cinnamon.  Line  a mold,  or  baking  dish,  with  slices  of 
buttered  bread.  Bake  and  eat  with  sweet  sauce. 

BREAD  PUDDING. 

Cut  the  bread  into  small,  square  pieces ; make  a custard  of  a 
quart  of  milk,  the  yolks  of  two  eggs,  sugar  and  a little  nutmeg;  add 
half  a cup  of  seeded  raisins.  Mix  all  in  a deep  dish,  and  bake  a very 
light  brown  ; beat  the  whites  of  two  eggs  very  light,  with  just  enough 
sugar  to  stiffen;  and,  when  the  pudding  is  cool,  drop  this  in  spoon- 
fuls on  the  top.  Put  it  back  in  the  oven  till  the  white  of  the  eggs  is 
lightly  browned. 


ON  HABITS  AND  MANNERS. 


182 


ANOTHER. 

Two  cups  bread  crumbs ; one  quart  milk ; three  well-beaten 
eggs ; a little  salt ; one-fourth  teaspoonful  soda,  dissolved  in  a little 
warm  water.  Bake  and  eat  with  sweet  sauce. 

SPONGE  PUDDING. 

One-half  cup  butter ; two  cups  sugar ; three  eggs ; three  and 
one-half  cups  flour;  one  cup  milk;  two  teaspoonfuls  baking  powder. 
Bake  in  cups,  and  eat  with  sweet  sauce. 

INDIAN  PUDDING. 

One  quart  milk  ; one  teacup  molasses  ; one  cup  suet ; one  heap- 
ing cup  Indian  meal ; one  egg;  a little  ginger,  cinnamon  and  salt. 
Heat  the  milk,  and  stir  into  it  the  meal  wet,  with  cold  milk.  Let  it 
boil  for  two  minutes.  When  cold,  add  other  ingredients,  and  bake. 

HARD  SAUCE. 

Beat  together  one  cup  fine  sugar  and  one-half  cup  butter- 
Flavor  with  vanilla  or  nutmeg. 

SOFT  SAUCE. 

One  pint  hot  water ; one  tablespoonful  butter ; three  full  table- 
spoonfuls sugar.  While  boiling,  stir  in  one  tablespoonful  cornstarch » 
dissolved  in  cold  water.  Flavor  with  vanilla,  or  lemon  and  nutmeg. 

PASTRY. 

Take  equal  parts  of  butter  and  lard,  and  chop  them  into  the 
flour ; add  sufficient  cold  water  to  moisten,  a little  salt,  and  roll  as 
little  as  possible.  For  one  pie  the  proportions  are  one  cup  flour, 
butter  and  lard  the  size  of  a small  egg.  Pastry  which  is  chopped  in 
this  way  is  much  lighter  than  if  mixed  with  the  hand  ; but,  however 
made,  it  is  an  unwholesome  and  expensive  food,  and  should  be  very 
seldom  eaten. 


ON  HABITS  AND  MANNERS. 


183 


CRULLERS, 

One  cup  milk  ; one  cup  sugar  ; five  eggs,  whites  and  yolks  beaten 
separately ; two  teaspoonfuls  baking  powder  ; butter  size  of  an  egg  ; 
a little  nutmeg;  flour  enough  to  make  a thick  paste.  Cut  into 
shapes,  and  drop  into  boiling  lard  or  beef  fat. 

DOUGHNUTS. 

One  pint  milk ; three  eggs ; two  cups  sugar ; one  cup  butter  or 
lard  ; one  gill  fresh  yeast ; grated  orange  peel  and  nutmeg ; flour 
enough  to  make  a stiff  paste.  Roll  into  balls,  and  cook  like  crullers. 

SPONGE  CAKE. 

One-half  pound  sugar,  one-fourth  pound  flour,  juice  and  grated 
rind  of  one  lemon,  five  eggs ; beat  whites  and  yolks  separate,  as  light 
as  possible ; beat  the  sugar  into  the  yolks ; then  very  lightly  beat  in 
the  flour. 

BOSTON  TEA-CAKE. 

Two  cups  white  sugar ; two  cups  milk ; two  eggs ; one-half  cup 
butter  ; two  teaspoonfuls  baking  powder  ; four  cups  flour  ; spice. 

GINGERBREAD. 

Three  cups  flour ; one-half  cup  butter ; one  cup  molasses ; one- 
half  cup  milk  ; one  egg  ; tablespoonful  ginger  ; one  teaspoonful  soda  ; 
two  of  cream  tartar. 

GINGERSNAPS. 

One  large  cup  butter  and  lard ; one  large  cup  sugar  ; one  large 
cup  molasses ; one-half  large  cup  cold  water;  one  teaspoonful  soda 
dissolved  in  a little  warm  water;  flour  enough  to  make  a stiff  dough. 
Roll  very  thin,  and  bake  quickly. 


184 


ON  HABITS  AND  MANNERS 


SUGAR  COOKIES. 

Two  cups  sugar;  one-half  cup  butter;  one  half  cup  lard  ; one 
cup  milk ; one  teaspoonful  soda,  dissolved  in  a little  warm  water ; 
flour  to  make  it  just  thick  enough  to  roll  out.  Mold  as  little  as 
possible. 

CUP  CAKE. 

One-half  cup  butter ; two  cups  sugar ; three  eggs ; four  cups 
flour;  one  cup  milk;  two  teaspoonfuls  baking  powder.  Flavor  with 
vanilla  or  lemon. 


FRUIT  CAKE. 

One  cup  butter ; four  cups  sugar ; two  cups  milk  ; yolks  of  six 
eggs,  well  beaten ; four  teaspoonfuls  baking  powder ; eight  cups 
flour;  one  cup  of  citron  and  one  cup  of  raisins,  both  chopped  fine. 
Spice  with  nutmeg  and  cinnamon. 

BREAD  CAKE. 

Three  cups  light  dough  ; one  cup  butter  and  lard  ; three  eggs ; 
two  cups  sugar ; one-half  cup  milk ; one-half  teaspoonful  soda ; 
nutmeg  and  cinnamon ; one  cup  raisins  and  citron.  If  not  stiff 
enough,  add  a little  flour. 

ANOTHER. 

Three  lbs.  flour;  one  and  one-half  lbs.  sugar  ; one-half  lb.  butter; 
one-half  lb.  lard;  three  eggs;  one  pint  milk;  one-half  pint  yeast. 
Spice  with  mace  and  nutmeg,  and,  if  you  like,  add  raisins  and  citron. 

The  afternoon  before  you  want  to  bake,  put  half  the  shortening 
and  half  the  sugar  into  the  milk  and  scald  it ; when  cool,  add  the 
yeast  and  the  flour.  When  it  is  raised,  which  will  be  sometime 


ON  HABITS  AND  MANNERS. 


185 

during  the  evening,  work  in  the  rest  of  the  sugar  and  shortening.  In 
the  morning  add  the  eggs,  well  beaten,  the  spice  and  fruit ; put  in 
the  pans,  and  let  it  rise  again  before  baking. 

HARD  GINGERBREAD. 

One  cup  molasses;  one-half  cup  butter;  tablespoonful  ginger, 
one  teaspoonful  saleratus,  dissolved  in  half  a cup  warm  water ; flour 
enough  to  roll. 

HARRISON  CAKE. 

Two  cups  molasses,  heated,  with  half  a cup  butter  and  lard  and 
one  cup  sugar ; one  teaspoonful  cloves ; two  teaspoonfuls  saleratus ; 
one  cup  sour  cream,  if  you  have  it,  if  not,  one  cup  sour  milk  and  a 
little  more  butter  ; flour  to  thicken,  as  gingerbread  ; raisins. 


MISCELLANEOUS. 

BEEF  TEA. 

Cut  the  beef  in  small  pieces  ; put  in  a saucepan,  with  just  enough 
water  to  cover.  Set  it  back  on  the  stove,  and  let  it  steep,  not  boil, 
for  six  or  seven  hours.  Strain  it,  and  flavor  with  a little  celery, 
onion  or  anything  you  like  and  the  doctor  approves. 

INDIAN  MEAL  GRUEL. 

Two  quarts  boiling  water ; one  cup  Indian  meal;  a little  salt. 
Wet  the  meal  to  a smooth  paste,  and  stir  it  into  the  water  when 
actually  boiling,  and  boil  slowly  half  an  hour,  stirring  all  the  time. 
Oatmeal  gruel  is  made  in  the  same  way. 


t86 


ON  HABITS  AND  MANNERS. 


MILK  AND  RICE  GRUEL. 

Wet  two  heaping  tablespoonfuls  ground  rice  with  cold  milk  and 
stir  into  one  quart  boiling  milk.  Boil  ten  minutes,  and  add  a little 
salt.  Sago  and  arrowroot  are  made  in  the  same  way. 

APPLE  WATER. 

Take  one  large  juicy  apple,  pare  and  quarter,  but  do  not  core  it. 
Add  three  cups  cold  water  and  boil  (closely  covered)  until  the  apple 
stews  to  pieces.  Strain  at  once,  squeezing  the  apple  through  the 
cloth  ; strain  this  again  through  a finer  cloth ; sweeten  and  drink  with 
ice,  and,  if  you  like  it,  a little  lemon  juice.  This  is  excellent  in  fevers 
and  colds,  as  are  also  drinks  made  from  acid  jellies  dissolved  in 
water. 

SOFT  SOAP. 

Two  bars  common  yellow  soap  ; two  lbs.  washing  soda;  two  oz. 
borax.  Dissolve  in  eight  quarts  warm  water.  The  water  must  be 
kept  warm  (without  boiling)  until  the  ingredients  are  thoroughly 
dissolved. 

POISONS.' 

For  any  poison,  drink,  at  once,  a glass  of  cold  water,  in  which 
has  been  dissolved  a teaspoonful  of  ground  mustard,  and  one  of  com- 
mon salt.  This  is  an  emetic,  and  should,  after  its  action,  be  followed 
by  the  white  of  two  raw  eggs.  A physician  should  always  be  sent  for 
at  once. 

STAINS. 

Iron  rust  can  usually  be  taken  out  with  fresh  currant  juice,  but 
is  very  troublesome. 


ON  HABITS  AND  MANNERS.  I'87 

Mildew,  by  oxalic  acid. 

Ink,  while  wet,  by  milk : when  dry  (from  anything  white),  by 
oxalic  acid. 

Grease  can  be  removed  sometimes  by  French  chalk  ; sometimes 
by  borax,  dissolved  in  warm  water ; sometimes  (as  in  the  case  of 
candle  grease)  by  laying  thin  paper  on  the  spot,  and  pressing  with  a 
hot  iron  ; sometimes  by  benzine,  and  sometimes  not  at  all. 

MEASURES. 

One  heaping  quart,  sifted  flour,  weighs  one  pound ; one  quart 
fine  sugar  and  one  quart  softened  butter,  weighs  one  pound ; one 
quart  brown  sugar,  or  one  quart  Indian  meal,  weighs  one  lb.  two  oz. 

INSECTS. 

Cockroaches  and  beetles  may  be  got  rid  of  by  sprinkling 
powdered  borax  on  the  shelves,  sinks,  etc.,  which  they  frequent. 
Ants,  by  putting  almond  kernels  on  the  shelves,  etc.  The  ants  will 
leave  anything  else  for  these,  and  you  can  brush  them  off  into 
hot  water,  destroying  hundreds  at  once.  Bedbugs  will  yield  to 
nothing  but  perfect  cleanliness.  Moths  will  not  eat  anything  in  a 
chest  or  trunk  in  which  there  is  a strong  odor  of  camphor.  Brush  all 
woollens  and  furs  carefully,  and  sprinkle  with  camphor  gum. 

SALT  PORK. 

Cover  the  bottom  of  the  barrel  with  salt  an  inch  deep.  Put 
down  one  layer  of  pork,  and  cover  with  one  inch  salt,  continuing 
thus  till  the  barrel  is  full.  Then  pour  in  as  much  strong  pickle 
as  the  barrel  will  hold.  Pack  as  tight  as  possible,  and  keep  the 
pork  always  under  the  brine. 


i88 


ON  HABITS  AND  MANNERS. 


HAMS. 

For  six  hams  make  a brine  strong  enough  to  bear  a potato  ; add 
one-fourth  lb.  saltpetre,  dissolved  in  warm  water,  and  sugar  enough 
to  make  the  mixture  slightly  sweet.  Soak  the  hams  in  this  for  ten  or 
twelve  days ; take  them  out,  and,  when  thoroughly  dry,  smoke  until 
they  are  of  a deep  brown.  Then  wrap  in  cotton  cloth,  or  brown 
paper,  and  pack  in  a box  or  barrel,  with  coarse  salt  enough  to  com- 
pletely cover  them.  Hams  cured  in  this  way  may  be  kept  for  two  or 
three  years. 

COFFEE. 

The  best  coffee  pot  is  one  so  arranged  that  the  grounds  do  not 
get  into  the  coffee  at  all ; and  this  end  is  reached  by  means  of  a little 
cylinder  with  a fine  sieve  at  the  bottom,  which  stands  on  top  the 
coffee-pot.  The  ground  coffee  is  put  in  this  cylinder,  and  the  boiling 
water  being  poured  into  it,  drains  int®  the  pot  below.  This  insures 
clear,  strong  coffee,  without  further  trouble,  and  is  the  simplest  pos- 
sible method. 


TEA. 

Put  the  tea,  in  the  proportion  of  one  teaspoonful  to  each  person, 
into  the  pot  (which  should  first  have  been  heated),  pour  boiling 
water  on  it,  and  set  it  for  five  minutes  where  it  will  keep  hot  without 
boiling. 


lijsiTS  ON  Agriculture. 


BY  F.  RICHARDSON. 


Written  for  the  Southern  Workman. 

More  people  make  their  living  directly  by  agriculture 
than  by  any  other  calling  ; and  famine  would  overtake  all 
civilized  nations  if  one  year’s  crop  should  fail.  Agriculture 
is,  therefore,  called  the  ^‘King  of  Arts.”'  So  universal  is  its 
bearinar  upon  the  interests  of  all  classes,  that  no  man’s  head 
can  be  considered  well  furnished,  till  he  knows  the  general 
principles  of  farming.  Professional  men  of  nearly  all  kinds 
are  continually  brought  in  contact  with  farmers.  Especially 
is  this  the  case  with  teachers  in  the  Southern  States.  And 
the  more  exact  and  detailed  a teacher's  information  is  on 
agricultural  matters,  the  more  he  may  enjoy  the  respect  and 
confidence  of  those  practical  men  who  are  the  leaders  of  pub- 
lic opinion  in  rural  communities. 

To  command  the  respect  of  practical  men,  however,  the 
student  must  know  how  narrow  are  the  limits  within  which 
book  knowledge  is  worth  anything.  Books  cannot  convey 
the  skill  of  touch  which  enables  its  owner  to  select  a valuable 


90 


ON  HABITS  AND  MANNERS. 


animal  by  the  quality  of  its  hair  ; nor  can  they  give  the 
practiced  eye,  which  decides  at  a glance  whether  grass  is  at 
the  proper  stage  for  cutting,  or  whether  a clay  field  should 
be  plowed  to-day  or  left  till  it  is  drier.  Nor  can  books  de- 
termine whether  this  farm  is  worth  ten  dollars  per  acre  more 
than  that,  and  whether  cattle  farming  in  any  particular 
locality  is  likely  to  pay  better  than  raising  grain.  On  all 
such  matters  the  mere  book  theorist  in  agriculture  would  be 
as  much  at  sea  as  the  young  physician  who  has  his  volumes 
at  his  fingers’  ends,  and  can  prescribe  for  any  disease  which 
may  be  named  to  him,  but  cannot  decide  what  is  the  matter, 
in  his  first  case. 

On  all  such  questions  as  the  above,  practical  men, 
though  prompt  to  laugh  at  any  dogmatic  intrusion  upon 
their  provinces,  are  especially  eager  to  hear  facts.  They 
value  these  if  modestly  ofi:ered,  and  under  a sense  that  the 
experience  recorded  in  books  and  farm  papers  has  been  often 
gained  under  totally  different  circumstances  from  the  case  in 
hand.  Books  never  do  record  all  the  circumstances.  They 
deal  in  relative  terms,  and  in  results,  often  leaving  out  such 
vital  points  as  temperature  and  amount  of  rain-fall,  &c. 
For  example,  a first-rate  authority  on  market-gardening, 
living  in  New  York,  gives  as  a fixed  rule  that  it  will  not 
pay  to  plant  truck  on  land  having  a clay  sub-soil.  "While 


ON  HABITS  AND  MANNERS- 


19I 

in  the  South,  on  the  contrary,  the  rule  is  worthless,  and  a 
clay  sub-soil  is  often  especially  sought  by  truck  growers.  To 
trust  books  too  far  is  to  become  the  laughing-stock  of  sensible 
men.  It  is  necessary  to  learn  to  read  between  the  lines  and 
supply  omitted  circumstances. 

The  students  of  Hampton  have  not  only  the  great  privi- 
lege of  seeing  a fine  farm  successfully  managed  under  their 
eyes  and  hands,  but  they  are  also  thoroughly  drilled  in  the 
elements  of  agricultural  science  in  their  class-rooms.  The 
object  of  the  present  series  of  papers  is  to  supplement  the 
knowledge  thus  attainable  by  suggesting  a few  of  the  prac- 
tical ideas  about  farming,  which  are  not  commonly  found  in 
text-books,  but  which  the  young  farmer  needs  at  the  very 
threshold  of  his  experience,  and  for  lack  of  which  many 
good  men  have  thrown  away  the  labor  of  years,  or  of  a life- 
time, In  treating  of  agriculture  from  this  point  of  view,  it 
is  hoped  that  useful  hints  may  be  given  to  the  teachers  who 
go  out  from  Hampton  into  farming  communities,  and  whose 
pupils  may  apply  to  them  for  advice.  The  whole  future  of 
those  pupils  may  be  determined  by  a word  from  an  honored 
teacher,  and  much  depends  upon 

STARTING  RIGHT. 

I 

It  is  best  for  the  young  farmer  to  begin  at  the  bottom 
of  the  ladder.  He  has  a long  course  before  him.  In  thirty 


192 


ON  HABITS  AND  MANNERS. 


years  he  may  expect  to  reach  a comfortable  independence. 
If  not  satisfied  with  this  and  he  tries  to  go  faster,  he  will 
usually  sink  into  some  enticing  pitfall  of  speculation. 

In  every  country  neighborhood  are  to  be  found  a few 
men  who  have  made  money  by  legitimate  farming,  and  who 
are  not  ashamed  to  use  their  own  hands.  After  finding 
some  such  man,  the  young  farmer  can  make  the  best  use  of 
two  or  three  years,  by  working  faithfully  and  diligently  for 
him,  and  learning  what  he  knows.  If  a young  farmer  has 
determined  to  be  rich  in  thirty  years,  he  can  better  afford  to 
labor  at  first  for  a successful  man  for  board  and  clothing  only, 
than  to  receive  high  wages  from  a slip-shod  fox  hunter  who 
calls  himself  unlucky. 

II 

After  having  given  satisfaction  to  a critical  master  for 
two  or  three  years,  our  beginner  will  find  that  though  he 
may  have  put  no  money  in  his  purse,  and  is  apparently  at 
the  bottom  of  the  ladder,  he  has  really  made  the  first  great 
step  upward.  He  has  gotten  a character,  A man  whose 
judgment  is  recognized  in  the  place,  has  given  him  a 
thorough  trial,  and  pronounced  him  steady,  reliable  and 
efficient.  What  is  the  result  ? 

The  result  is  that,  though  without  a penny  or  an  en- 
dorser, he  will  find  two  classes  of  persons  who  are  looking 
for  just  such  men  as  he.  The  first  class  is  of  practical  farm- 


ON  HABITS  AND  MANNERS. 


193 


ers  who  need  foremen.  The  second  class  is  of  non-residents 
who  must  have  hands  who  are  trusty,  and  not  eye  servants. 

The  most  successful  farmer  is  to  be  preferred  as  an  employer, 

♦ 

first,  because  such  a man  is  more  likely  to  be  able  and  willing 
to  pay  all  who  work  for  him;  second,  because  something  is 
to  be  learned  from  him. 

in. 

Oiir  beginner,  looking  steadily  toward  the  end  of  the 
thirty  years,  will  not  be  in  too  great  a hurry  to  start  for 
himself.  And  in  his  early  efforts  to  swim  against  tlie  cur- 
rent, he  will  wait  till  he  finds  some  solid  ground  under  his 
feet,  before  he  places  the  weight  of  another’s  arms  around 
his  neck.  It  is  true  that  many  young  men  save  nothing 
until  they  get  married,  but  this  is  their  own  folly.  Every 
valuable  farm  hand,  if  single,  ought  to  put  by  at  least  $7.00 
to  $10.00  per  month.  If  he  sticks  to  this  till  he  has  laid  up 
$500.00,  he  will  have  learned  the  value  of  little  sums, — 
which  is  one  of  the  most  important  lessons  in  the  art  of  get- 
ting wealth.  It  is  the  testimony  of  every  successful  man, — 
that  it  is  more  difficult  to  keep  money  than  to  make  it. 

IV. 

While  working  out  for  an  employer,  our  beginner  is 
gaining  experience  at  the  least  risk,  of  any  period  of  his  life. 
He  has  before  his  eyes  the  example  of  a practical  man  laying 
out  money.  If  losses  occur,  the  employee  gets  a valuable 


194 


ON  HABITS  AND  MANNERS. 


warning  ; if  gains  result,  the  employee  can  some  day  try  the 
same  path.  Moreover,  while  his  own  bank  account  is  grow- 
ing, he  has  many  opportunities  of  seeing,  in  the  experience 
of  other  young  men,  the  folly  of  trying  to  farm  without 
sufficient  capital. 

V. 

By  these  gradual  steps  upward,  we  will  suppose  our 
young  farmer  to  have  acquired  a first-rate  character  for 
steadiness,  honesty,  industry,  and  knowledge  of  his  business. 
These  things  are  capital  in  themselves,  and  are  within  the 
reach  of  any  one,  however  poor.  While  acquiring  them,  he 
has  formed  fixed  habits,  and  conquered  many  of  his  own 
weaknesses.  He  has  now  taken  a Right  Start  on  the  road  to 
an  honorable  career  of  prosperity.  With  his  five  hundred 
dollars,  he  is  now,  perhaps,  a man  of  sufficient  experience  to 
commence  being  his  own  employer.  Only  seven  or  eight 
years  of  the  thirty  are  gone,  and  he  finds  himself  in  advance 
of  fully  three-fourths  of  the  young  men  who  began  life  when 
he  did. 

VI. 

At  this  stage  of  the  life  of  our  hero  (for  heroes  are  those 
who  conquer  little  temptations),  a land  agent  lights  down 
upon  hipa-  The  land  agent  has  a nice  little  farm  of  fifty 
acres,  for  sale  at  a bargain.  He  don’t  want  much  down — 
jsay  $200.  Seeing  the  purchaser  is  such  a deserving  young 


ON  HABITS  AND  MANNERS 


195 


man^  the  balance  may  remain  on  interest  for  four  or  five 
years.  As  a friend,  the  land  agent  would  advise  him  not  to 
let  such  a good  chance  slip.  In  the  whole  course  of  his  ex- 
perience in  real  estate^  he  had  never  known  a more  favorable 
opportunity  to  make  a strike.  The  wood  on  the  farm  will 
nearly  pay  for  it,  &c.,  &c.  Only  $1,000.00  for  the  place,  and 
all  but  |200  might  remain  on  interest.  ‘‘  Buy  it ! young- 
man  ! Buy  it ! ’’ 

VII. 

Our  advice  would  be,  do  nothing  of  the  kind.  You  will 
find  just  as  good  bargains  five  years  hence.  ‘‘There  are 
always  as  fine  fish  in  the  sea  as  have  been  caught.”  The 
wood  would  be  worth  very  little  without  capital  to  handle 
and  sell  it  to  the  best  advantage.  The  farm  itself  will  produce 
nothing  without  tools,  seed,  team  and  labor.  If  it  is  the 
labor  of  the  owner,  how  is  he  to  be  fed  ? The  $300  still  in 
the  bank  would  be  soaked  up  directly  as  follows : 


Cost  of  the  cheapest  horse  worth  owning,  $80.00 

Cart  harness,  plow  harness  and  whiffietree,  20.00 

Cart,  plows,  drag,  cultivator,  scythe,  axe,  spade, 
hoe,  forks,  rake,  shovel,  curry-comb,  brush, 
grind-stone,  wedges,  chains,  bags,  baskets, 
steel-yard,  half-bushel,  hatchet,  wrench,  &c.,  110.00 

,Cow,  pigs  and  poultry,  50.00 

Seeds  and  plants,  30.00 

Lastly,  the  wedding  expenses,  10.00 


$300.00 


ON  HABITS  AND  MANNERS. 


196 

Even  if  the  house  were  nicely  furnished  by  a liberal 
father-in-law,  how  can  the  young  man  live,  and  pay  interest 
on  the  remaining  $800  due  on  the  land  ? 

VIII. 

All  this  fearful  embarrassment  and  the  consequent 
working  at  a disadvantage,  and  compulsory  borrowing,  could 
be  avoided  by  not  investing  a penny  in  land  so  early  in  life. 

Turning  a deaf  ear  to  the  land  agent,  our  hero  sets 
himself  to  find  a good  piece  of  land  which  has  been  a little 
neglected,  and  whose  owner  has  not  much  taste  or  skill,  and 
would  be  glad  to  put  it  out  on  shares.  Such  pieces  are  to 
be  found  easily  enough,  and  after  refusing  a number  of  such, 
our  prudent  beginner,  making  haste  slowly,  will  be  likely 
to  have  a favorable  opportunity.  Here  his  good  character 
will  enable  him  to  command  good  terms.  And  the  more 
he  can  induce  the  owner  to  furnish  of  stock  and  tools  the 
better.  There  will  be  plenty  of  room  left  to  use  the  small 
sum  of  $500  as  working  capital,  to  more  advantage. 

In  making  a bargain  to  farm  on  shares,  the  beginner 
should  be  very  careful  to  have  the  contract  drawn  up  in 
writing  as  definitely  and  clearly  as  possible.  This  is  neces- 
sary even  with  the  land -owner  who  means  to  deal  fairly, 
because  misunderstandings  are  constantly  occurring  when 
there  is  only  memory  to  refer  to.  So  far  from  making  agree- 
ments with  land-owners  whose  neighbors  do  not  consider 


ON  HABITS  AND  MANNERS. 


197 


them  reliable  and  just  men,  it  is  much  safer  for  beginners  to 
avoid  such  altogether.  Even  a victory  in  a lawsuit  is  often 
ruinous  to  a poor  man. 

IX. 

As  a guide,  we  give  the  following  form,  which  can  easily 
be  varied  ; but  as  written,  it  embraces  the  common  features 
of  such  agreements  in  Eastern  Virginia: 

Articles  of  agreement  made  this  first  day  of  1888, 

between  John  Doe,  of  the  County  of  , in  the  State  of 

Virginia,  of  the  first  part,  and  Richard  .Roe,  of  the  said  County  and 
State,  of  the  other  part,  witnesseth  : That  the  said  John  Doe  doth 
demise  unto  the  said  Richard  Roe,  his  personal  representatives  and 
assigns,  all  that  certain  farm  situate  in  ihe  County  of 
in  the  State  of  Virginia,  bounded  on  the  North  by  the  main  road 
leading  from  to  , on  the  East  by  the  land  of 

Adam  Smith,  on  the  South  by  the  River,  and  on  the  West 

by  land  now  occupied  by  Pier  Plowman  ; from  the  first  day  of  Jan- 
uary, 1888,  for  the  term  of  three  years  thence  ensuing,  yielding  there- 
for to  the  said  John  Doe,  during  the  said  term,  the  rent  of  one-third 
of  the  crops  raised  on  said  farm. 

And  it  is  agreed  that  said  John  Doe  shall  furnish  three  head  of 
yearling  cattle  and  ten  pigs  over  three  months  old,  at  the  beginning 
of  each  year  of  said  term.  And  that  all  grain  fed  to  said  stock  shall 
be  out  of  the  share  of  said  Richard  Roe.  And  that  said  stock  shall 
be  common  property,  share  and  share  alike,  and  shall  not  be  disposed 
of  before  the  end  of  the  said  term  of  three  years,  unless  by  consent 
of  both  parties  hereto.  Working  teams  are  to  be  fed  from  the  un- 
divided crops. 

It  is  further  agreed  that  said  Richard  Roe  shall  have  the  use  of 
half  an  acre  of  ground  adjoining  the  dwelling,  as  a kitchen  garden  ; 
and  shall  have  the  privilege  of  cutting  as  much  timber  as  may  be 
necessary  for  fencing  upon  the  farm,  and  wood  for  his  family. 

And  said  John  Doe  agrees  to  pay  all  the  taxes  upon  said  property 
except  the  road  tax,  which  is  to  be  paid  by  said  Richard  Roe.  And 
the  said  John  Doe  covenants  that  the  said  lessee  shall  have  quiet 
enjoyment  of  bis  term. 


ON  HABITS  AND  MANNERS. 


I 98 

The  said  Richard  Roe  covenants  to  deliver  the  said  John  Doe’s 
third,  at  the  South  barn  on  said  premises,  without  charge  and  in  as 
good  order  as  that  in  which  his  own  crops  are  housed.  The  said 
Richard  Roe  further  covenants  that  he  will  not  assign  without  leave  r 
that  he  will  keep  the  fences  in  repair  and  pay  the  road  tax,  and  to 
raise  forty  acres  of  corn  each  year. 

Witness  the  following  signatures  and  seals. 

John  Doe,  [seal.] 
Richard  Roe,  [seal.] 

Witnesses  at  signing, 

Solon  Shingle,  Joseph  Jefferson. 

Sometimes  Richard  Roe  is  not  able  to  furnish  team  and 
seed,  and  implements.  John  then  furnishes  half,  and  receives 
half  the  crops. 

XI. 

The  advantages  of  renting  on  shares  over  renting  for 
cash  are  principally  to  be  seen  in  bad  seasons.  When  from 
drouth,  or  long  rains,  or  insect  enemies,  the  crops  fail,  the 
owner  gets  very  little  ; while  the  tenant,  having  dwelling, 
garden  and  fuel  free,  can  raise  his  own  meat  and  vegetables 
and  make  his  poultry  and  butter  pay  his  grocery  bills ; 
leaving  him  but  little  worse  off  for  the  bad  season,  except 
his  loss  of  time  and  wear  of  tools.  Sometimes,  however,  it 
would  be  better  to  take  the  risk  of  renting  for  cash,  as  the 
money  rent  is  often  considerably  cheaper  in  good  seasons. 
The  advantages  of  either  method  of  renting  over  buying 
are,  that  the  farmer  who  rents  has  the  most  money  left  to 
buy  stock,  seed,  manure  and  labor  with.  And  he  can  turn 
a small  capital  over  much  more  rapidly  in  these  things  than 
in  land. 


ON  HABITS  AND  MANNERS. 


199 


xir. 

The  farmer  whose  money  is  all  wrapped  up  in  land  is 
compelled  to  sell  his  grain  for  want  of  stock  to  eat  it.  Such 
farmers  are  getting,  this  year,  fifty  cents  per  bushel  for  corn. 
The  same  corn  fed  to  hogs  would  be  worth  one  dollar  per 
bushel,  provided  dressed  pork  brings  six  cents  per  pound. 
The  man  who  has  ready  money  enough  to  buy  hogs  at  the 
right  time  can  thus  realize  twice  as  much  money  for  his 
corn  as  his  neighbor  who  owns  land,  but  has  not  enough 
working  capital  to  stock  it. 

XIII. 

It  is  a golden  rule  in  farming  never  to  plant  a grain 
crop  on  poor  land.  But  if  the  farmer  has  no  working  cap- 
ital to  buy  stock  to  make  manure,  he  can’t  help  himself. 
He  is  compelled  to  raise  poor  crops. 

It  costs  about  $5  per  acre  to  draw  out  manure  and 
enrich  a field  so  as  to  bring  its  crop  of  corn  from  five  barrels 
up  to  eight  per  acre.  Thus  the  three  barrels  are  the  pro- 
duct of  only  $5  of  working  capital.  How  many  barrels 
would  the  same  five  dollars  have  yielded,  clear  of  expense,  if 
put  into  land  ? Not  more  than  one. 

XIV. 

The  fact  is,  that  many  farmers  are  land  poor,”  because 
they  have  not  clearly  understood  that  land  alone  is  of  no 


200 


ON  HABITS  AND  MANNERS. 


more  use  than  gold  to  a starving  sailor  on  a raft.  The 
money  made  by  farmers  is  not  in  proportion  to  the  size  of 
their  farms,  but  in  proportion  as  they  have  working  capital, 
and  know  how  to  use  it.  And  if  our  beginner  does  not  own 
a foot  of  land  for  ten  years  after  he  has  commenced  to  farm 
for  himself,  he  will  be  better  ofi,  provided  he  and  his  wdfe 
know  enough  not  to  spend  their  working  capital  for  things 
which  can  he  done  without. 

If,  however,  the  young  farmer  finds  that  he  is  fond  of 
attending  auctions,  or  discovers  that  either  he  or  his  wife 
have  a habit  of  buying  things  because  they  are  ‘"'nice,''  or 
because  they  are  cheap,'’  or  for  any  other  reason  than 
absolute  necessity,  then  his  only  chance  to  escape  shipwreck 
may  be  to  run  in  debt  for  a farm.  Debt  is  a hard  master  ; 
but  it  will  stop  him,  if  anything  will,  from  fooling  aw^ay 
his  money.  It  is  a sad  fact  that  not  one  man  in  ten  can 
rely  upon  himself  and  his  family  to  refuse  always  to  buy 
that  which  they  could  somehow  manage  to  do  without. 
Therefore  it  is  often  safer  to  put  money  into  land,  lest  it 
take  wings  and  escape. 

In  buying  a farm,  the  next  thing  in  importance  after 
healthful  location,  is  the  natural  productiveness  of  the  soil. 
That  this  should  be  considered  before  price,  is  evident. 
Land  rich  enough  without  manure  to  bring  eight  barrels 
of  corn,  pays  the  farmer  over  two  dollars  per  day  for 


ON  HABITS  AND  MANNERS. 


20  1 


his  labor.  While  on  land  which  brings  only  four  barrels, 
the  farmer  is  paid  scarcely  one  dollar  per  day.  The  rich 
land  is  cheap  at  thirty  dollars  per  acre,  because  each  acre^ 
after  paying  the  cost  of  cultivation,  yields  more  profit  than 
the  interest  on  thirty  dollars.  ¥/hile  the  poor  land  pays 
no  interest,  and  would  be  dear  as  a gift,  unless  the 
farmer  has  means  to  enrich  it. 

XV. 

Rich  land,  in  a productive  state,  is  often  too  high- 
priced  for  a poor  man.  But  the  richest  lands  are  often 
unproductive  from  want  of  drainage,  simply,  and  can  be 
bought  at  a real  bargain.  The  young  farmer  should  be 
awake  to  seize  such  chances  of  getting  rich  land  cheap. 
Some  of  the  most  successful  farmers  have  found  their  for- 
tunes in  just  that  way. 

A very  simple  levelling  apparatus  may  be  made  as  fol- 
lows : Take  a fence  board  eight  inches  wide  and  sixteen 
feet  long  ; plane  one  edge,  so  as  to  be  straight ; nail  a leg 
three  feet  long  at  each  end  of  the  board;  set  the  board 
on  its  legs,  straight  side  up.  A carpenter’s  level  on  top  of 
the  board  will  tell  you  how  much  the  lowest  leg  needs  to  be 
raised.  Raise  it  till  the  straight  edge  is  level,  and  measure 
with  a pocket  rule  the  height  of  the  leg  from  the  ground. 
This  height  is  the  difierence  of  level  between  the  ends. 
Make  a note  of  it,  and  move  the  apparatus  sixteen  feet 


202 


ON  HABITS  AND  MANNERS. 


farther.  Level  and  measure  as  before,  and  add  or  subtract, 
as  the  case  may  require,  from  ^the  previous  note.  Or,  by 
putting  all  the  down-hill  measures  on  one  side  of  the  page, 
and  the  up-hill  measures  on  the  other,  the  difference  of 
their  sums  will  give  the  difference  of  level  of  two  places. 
By  this  contrivance  it  is  easy  to  ascertain,  without  employ- 
ing an  engineer,  how  much  fall  can  be  had,  and  whether  it 
is  practicable  to  drain  a piece  of  low  land. 


XVI. 

In  choosing  a farm,  next  after  healthfulness  and  fertil- 
ity, comes  the  question  of  nearness  to  market.  The  import- 
ance of  this  depends  upon  the  particular  branches  which  the 
skill,  means  or  inclination  of  the  farmer  leads  him  to  follow. 
There  are  advantages  and  disadvantages  in  being  near 
cities,  and  they  are  so  nicely  balanced  that  good  managers 
grow  rich  in  each  location.  Everything  depends  upon  the 
man.  A shrewd  farmer  of  small  means,  by  locating  twenty 
miles  from  town,  gets  good  land  cheap.  In  ten  years  the 
value  of  his  land  is  likely  to  double  by  the  increase  of  popu- 
lation around  him,  and  by  the  growth  of  his  orchards  and 
the  improved  productiveness  of  the  soil.  Meanwhile  he  can 
reduce  his  expenses  of  transportation  by  converting  his 
grain  and  hay  into  cattle  and  colts,  which  will  carry  them- 
selves to  market. 


ON  HABITS  AND  MANNERS. 


203. 


XVII. 

Having  formed  a clear  idea  of  what  particular  line  of 
farming  is  most  in  accordance  with  his  tastes  and  his  capital, 
our  young  farmer  considers  every  place  offered  him  with 
reference  to  these  points  specially.  And,  seeing  the  sad 
results  all  around  him  of  hasty  and  ill-considered  purchas- 
ing, he  takes  his  time,  and  will  not  be  hurried  in  choosing* 
He  will  have  nothing  to  do  with  poor  land  at  any  price,  nor 
will  he  be  tempted  by  cheapness  to  live  in  an  unhealthy 
place,  nor  to  run  much  in  debt  and  use  up  all  his  working 
capital  in  paying  interest  and  other  expenses.  He  had 
rather  buy  only  a very  small  farm. 

XVIII. 

After  finding  a place  as  nearly  as  possible  suited  to  his 
case,  it  is  well  for  the  young  farmer  to  remember  that 
everything  he  is  doing  now  should  be  for  the  permanent 
benefit  of  his  land,  and  with  a view  of  making  his  labors 
easy  as  old  age  comes  upon  him,  and  his  strength  lessens. 
He  should,  therefore,  keep  steadily  in  view  the  following 
ideas,  much  as  they  difier  from  ordinary  practice. 

First.  It  is  possible  so  to  manage  land  that,  while 
yielding  good  crops,  its  fertility  is  constantly  increasing. 

Second.  It  is  possible  to  give  his  live  stock  such  care 


204 


ON  HABITS  AND  MANNERS. 


in  breeding  and  management  that  they  will  command  better 
prices  than  those  of  his  neighbors. 

Third,  By  care  in  selecting  seed,  year  after  year,  he 
may  make  his  grain  crop  salable  for  seed  at  an  advance. 

Fourth,  By  planting  a tenth  of  his  land  in  fruit  trees 
of  the  most  showy  and  productive  market  kinds,  and  not 
many  varieties,  he  may  realize  a hundred  per  cent,  on  the 
investment. 

Fifth.  By  strict  integrity  in  putting  up  his  products, 
he  may  make  his  stamp  bring  an  extra  price. 

Sixth.  By  giving  his  sons  or  apprentices  a little 
ground  to  tend  for  themselves,  or  young  stock  to  raise,  he 
will  interest  them  in  looking  after  his  interests  ’and  remain- 
ing with  him  on  the  farm. 

Seventh.  An  agricultural  paper  is  worth  its  cost  for  the 
hints  it  will  furnish  if  not  blindly  followed. 

Eighth,  It  is  much  safer  to  raise  a variety  of  crops  than 
to  trust  all  to  one  crop. 

Ninth.  By  honesty  and  industry  and  faithful  perse- 
verance and  a constant  study  of  how  to  make  the  best  use  of 
every  minute,  he  has  more  chances  to  become  wealthy  and 
respected  at  farming  than  at  any  other  profession  for  which 
he  is  equally  fitted.  And  civil  rights  and  honors  naturally 
follow  those  who  show  that  they  can  make  and  keep  money 
and  deserve  respect. 


•j' 


I 


